I have no trust issues with my hubby and don't question his motives at all. Our marriage is great! It's just this girl he works with that has a marriage that's on the rocks and is constantly flirting with my hubby. Should I talk to her? I barely know her, she seems nice. An example of what she has done is rub lotion on his neck, he hated it and doesn't want her to do it again. To me that's just not right. What are your thoughts?
2007-04-18 13:42:42 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have talked it over with my hubby and he's just trying to avoid any more of her flirting. About the lotion, I guess she slapped her extra lotion on his neck while he wasn't paying attention. He jumped and rubbed it off right away. She has watched our kids while we went on a date, and knows very well that we are happily married. She has a son that has the same name as our son, about the same age. She gave him a pic of her son to my hubby. I think my hubby is afraid of loosing a friend. He doesn't have a lot, because he wants someone to be a true friend. The thing that bothers me the most is that she is so nice to me and took me to have our nails done and gives my hubby advice on what to do for me for christmas and birthday's and such. I asked him to maybe back off from her and just be aquantences at work. What do you think?
2007-04-18 14:03:05 · update #1
You should ask you Husband to slowly stop aquainting with her, and you should totally stop too. No more trips to get your nails done with her, or anything like that... Its like your sending mixed messages. She will only get closer to you and your husband if you continue to befriend her. Hopefully she will get the point and back off too.
Another thing, you said something about some lotion, Number 1 she should not be touching him, she knew what she was doing when she made that physical contact. You need to be very alert, these women are ********, and they will manage to come between marriages. Just keep your cool, and dont obsessively question your husband, He should know right from wrong.
Hope this helps!
*Isa
2007-04-18 15:42:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him about how you feel. See what he has to say. I do think it's odd that he doesn't discuss his personal life at work but a lot of people don't. I don't know too many people that can text all day at work either without getting into trouble. He should be there to work not flirt with co workers or text the wife. You need to resolve this though or it could turn into a real problem down the road.
2016-05-18 03:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband should set boundaries, including not being friends with her if she crosses his boundaries. I would be worried if I were you because he doesn't set them or he is afraid to, or may not admit he doesn't want to. We'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he actually hated her rubbing lotion on him. If this is the case, he should tell her to stop. It isn't right for something that intimate to occur between two people that are married to other people.
She may be stirring up trouble because she is troubled. I wouldn't trust your husband around her. It isn't your place to tell her because she might make you feel even worse. If you want a solution and not a lot of drama, then talk to your husband and make it perfectly clear that you are not happy that he let her get that close and if he lets it happen again he will have to face your anger. Make him accountable, he isn't innocent in all of this. I do appreciate you wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, though. It shows a lot of moral character and strength on your part, but don't be blind.
2007-04-18 14:07:56 · answer #3 · answered by Sara B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She didnt just rub lotion on his neck, he allowed her to rub the lotion on his neck. He didnt hate it but he dosent want you to be jelous and nag him about her every time her gets off work. He showed you lack of consideration when he let her do that. Im not insinuating he would take it further, but thats already crossing the line. Instead of talking to her, because she dosnet care what you have to say anyway, and actually, Im sure your husband already knows what your thinking but tell him again anyways. Tell him what you think about it and the things that make you feel disrespected. Everyone can make one screw up but after that he's supposed to realize where he belongs and whos hands belong where. He also needs to decide what matters most. His marriage or this other fluzey.
2007-04-18 13:49:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all if this is there place of business why is she rubbing anything on him, does she not get paid to do a job? Is her job there the company masseus, I think not? A few things need to take place I am sure your "hubby" is a fabulous guy, but the fact remains he is male and males like lady attention, it can be innocent, as you say, but they still like it, so he needs to tell her a friendship is fine but she can not cross the lines with excessive flirting and touching. There should be a NO touching policy at the least.
In my opinion this is his job to take care of out of respect for you it has nothing to do with jealousy or insecurity it is basic respect she and he should have for you. She obviously doesn't so he needs to set her straight. If he doesn't do this I would maybe question him as to why, and take care of her yourself. Explain to her that she is a sweet gal but he is your husband and you find her flirting disrespectful and leave it at that. But again I say if he hated the neck rub, why did he let her do it? Even if he stopped it that was his out to tell her she needs to know the boundaries.
2007-04-18 13:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by Italia 28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The situation depends on your hubby. Anything that this girl is doing will lead to nothing if your hubby will not tolerate and appreciate. You should give extra attention to him and dont change. Never nag him cause it may cause to something you will never like. Just be the best wife for him.
2007-04-18 13:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by dale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not right that the girl is throwing herself around at your husband! It would make me very angry. I would do this.......sit your husband down and have a very serious conversation with him. Tell him you are very uncomfortable with this womans actions. Tell him that it is up to him to put a stop to her behavior, and he has the power to put an end to it. He could ignore her and give her the mesage that he doesn't like her and say my wife would not be happy with you messing around with me like this. He could include the lotion incident telling her that my wife knows what you did and she is not happy with you. He needs to put her in her place! He is better to make her angry than you. Tell him to tell her that you said if she puts her hands on you one more time she is going to come up to workand slap them for you.....she doen't like it and really he could say neither do I so please quit will you. I would not trust her and she could be out for him. Tell your husband to be carefull of her and you will not tolerate anything if something ever happened. You never know he could be enjoying her flirting with him like that! She seems nice but you really don't know her. Tell him it is none of his bussiness about her personal life and problems and you don't want him caught up in it in anyway. Sometimes affairs start up this way and it doesn't matter if you have a great relationship.....because if she plays on him enough and she pushes him in a corner with no way out he could fall into her temptation. Most women dealing with a husband that has cheated always say it was not in his character. Men are strange like that I don't know why they just are! Keep an eye on this situation and make sure you end it before anythig could start. Best Wishes.
2007-04-18 14:29:27 · answer #7 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree your husband needs to tell her to back off and leave him alone HE IS A MARRIED MAN! She has some nerve thinking she will hit on a married man! Her character can't be trusted! You could also show up looking georous at a office party and make it quite obvious you are married and he is your husband! In front of her. Best Wishes!
2007-04-18 13:49:46 · answer #8 · answered by Janice 10 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you trust your hubby, trust him to do the right thing here. HE should be the one to tell her that her physical attention is not welcome, and in the workplace, that's also known as sexual harrassment.
I know women flirt with my husband, at times I've even seen them do it--he owns a business and is in Rotary. I'll just go up to him, smile at him, and wrap my arm through his. That usually tells most women "he's taken." It's fun to see the look on their face when you do this too....LOL
2007-04-18 13:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are billions of women out there and you can't confront every single one of them. However, you have one husband, and can make it clear that you won't tolerate it from him.
My wife and I had a similar experience in our marriage (no lotion), and she got her point across in a way that left no doubt in my mind where she stood on the issue. But she was tactful about it, also.
2007-04-18 13:56:00 · answer #10 · answered by Pythagoras 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋