I've worked so hard to get my credit score up to the 700's, he wants to get married but i keep telling him i cant until he gets his credit up, he gets mad, then lets it go. he's horrible with money. he gets those payday loans every month cause he's short on the rent. He pays all the rent and i pay all the utilities cause he cant remember to pay more then 1 item. creditors call everyday cause he doesnt pay his stuff. i havnt gotten a creditors call in yrs. I've told him he needs to do somthing about it, ive even made out a budget where he can pay his stuff on time every month and still have about 200 left over to do whatever he wants. the next month he wants to buy something thats more then 200 he gets mad at me and says if i would have never made out the budget he wouldnt have to worry about spending more then $200, i was floored. i was like "what?" he buys these $1000 on credit then dosnt pay it off. I'm sick of having 2 put everything in my name!
2007-04-18 13:06:44 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no it's not petty........bad credit (not due to medical bills or acts of nature) says a lot about a person....you would be smart to break it off!!!!!
2007-04-18 13:18:38 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do believe it is petty to want to break u with him because he has bad credit. There has to be something about him that drew you to him in the first place so dwell on that. Try working with him and tell him that you will pay his bills (out of his money, course) and what he has left is all he can spend. Don`t put everything in your name, if he wants something then he will have to wait until he has the money saved up, if he doesn`t have the money then he doesn`t get it. You sound like you have a very level head and you smart, try working this out with your boyfriend before making a decision like this. GOOD LUCK
2007-04-18 13:19:26 · answer #2 · answered by mammafran77 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The indicators are all there on how your married life would be.
Unfortunately he needs to grow up but it doesn't look like he's going to do it any time soon. People like your boyfriend spend most of there lives in dept and never get anywhere. Plus as you know he can ruin your credit as well. If he doesn't or can't grow up then move on because your wasting your time.
2007-04-18 13:54:30 · answer #3 · answered by miester44 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your subject line startled me-- I have to say that I'm on both sides of the story.
Normally, I'd say that people who value money more that a real relationship are crazy and the person being shunned should be doing the shunning.
I once heard Suze Orman tell a woman who was ALREADY married to leave her husband because his credit was bad.
However, I read your entire story and I've made a change of mind.
Here's my story-
I had perfect credit for years. When I took on too much and took a couple of trips I shouldn't have- that all turned around and it became hard to recover.
I've lived with a not-so great credit score for some time now and it's given me problems ---BUT, I've tried very hard to get myself back on track. I've paid most of my old debt at this point and I'm getting much more concerned about my finances and credit scores, etc.
Your boyfriend seems like he's not even trying. I don't like to give money any power. I think that it has a purpose but it should not dictate how we live our lives.
With that said, I think that your boyfriend doesn't respect the place money has in the world.
Regardless of what money means to people, it plays a vital part of everyone's life. If you don't respect it, then it can make your life, and possibly other lives very stressful and difficult.
I think that he wants to be fun and carefree and think of money as incidental.
Money is a tool and you have realized that. You know how to use it to its potential and incorporate it into life so that you can benefit from it.
He's taking great advantage of it and thinks that it will always be around.
It's fine now that he's young enough to get jobs and live paycheck to paycheck. Something tells me though, that before you were paying for everything, there was someone else-- like family or other friends/girlfriend.
I'm not saying he's using you for your money, but he is relying on you as a crutch to either avoid becoming responsible for his actions or is just used to it like a bad habit.
I think that you've really tried your best and hardest to get him to learn how to manage his money and get himself back on track.
He's ignored those lessons and thinks he can coast thru the rest of life having you pay all the bills, etc.
I will tell you, though, that he will eventually bring you down.
I have a friend whose credit was for about 10 years, impecable. Her boyfriend was a hothead and liked quitting his jobs on a whim. They ended up having to rely on her income and then her credit cards to get groceries and pay bills, etc.
Eventually that added up until her credit was maxed and the payments were unbelievable. They sunk fast.
I don't know you, but if you've worked long and hard to get great credit, having someone not respect you enough and value YOU enough to change their ways and are ok with ruining your future is not someone you should be with-- let alone marry.
You should talk to him one last time about this and if he still doesn't understand, it's time to move on.
2007-04-18 13:31:10 · answer #4 · answered by Arom R 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's your future. If you want to carry the burden of a financially irresponsible man for the rest of your life, that's your choice. If he can't pay his bills on time, that shows he's selfish, immature and irresponsible. Not qualities you want in the father of your children.
Move OUT and move on. Quit playing house with the loser. You're not his wife or his mother.
2007-04-18 13:11:37 · answer #5 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he was trying to change his ways I would say maybe there's hope. But he is really sounding silly. I have good credit and so does my spouse but it was'nt always that way but we formed a plan worked together and got out of debt. It does'nt sound right that he is still living in LA LA land. If you love him and you are willing to accept his immaturity then be prepared to have him jack your credit up too!
2007-04-18 13:17:44 · answer #6 · answered by Mo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I'm sick of having 2 put everything in my name!" Then stop doing it. You are simply enabling him to go on overspending. If I were you I'd get out of living with him as well. Get your name OFF that lease pronto and get yourself another place, move back in with your parents if you have to because if the rent is ever late or not paid in full that will go on YOUR credit report as well because YOUR name is on the lease as well as his.
2007-04-18 19:08:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No - you need to have a good look at what's happening there. How are you able to build a life around a man who is so irresponsible? I certainly would not go there with him. Your life will be miserable if you continue to stay with him.
Be warned.
2007-04-18 13:15:46 · answer #8 · answered by cheeky_beth_62 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your not being petty. His bad financial habits will effect you for the rest of your life. If he wants to straighten out fine. If he doesnt then you shouldnt be saddled with it the rest of your life
2007-04-18 13:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's no point in getting married until you can straighten this out. The number one cause of divorce: Money. Couples who fight about money are more likely to divorce.
2007-04-18 13:15:27 · answer #10 · answered by QT 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It shows he's not responsible and that he isn't mature enough to be in a grown up relationship. Dont bail him out; worry about you and you only. Make him put on his big boy britches and straighten out his own messes.
2007-04-18 13:26:33 · answer #11 · answered by cs_ds_02 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋