so people at my school think im gay which is true because i used to hang around with a kid with some gay characteristics. i have barely any friends now and very lonely. there are a couple nice people but most are mean to me. i have no "real" friends at school. and since im shy they really pick on me sometimes. now people stop asking me if im gay and now no one really talks to me...only occationally. over all im loney and i if you have suggestions please tell me?
2007-04-18 12:40:56 · 18 answers · asked by jack j 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
So sorry! How old are you? Be careful when you post stuff like this on the internet. Some older men could try to take advantage of you, ok? I'm a 35 year old married mom, but I am just responding because I really think I want to be a counselor, so I'm reading about what kind of problems teens have.
Being a teenager is so hard, for everyone. I was "normal" and I felt the same way at times. I often felt lonely and felt like I didn't really have any close friends. It's not because you're gay. It's just because you a different. It's ok to be different! Embrace who you are, and celebrate it! What people are attracted to is happy, confident people. It doesn't matter if you're good looking, or rich, or thin, or drive a nice car, or are good at sports. Look around you at the kids at school. There must be some kids who are kinda fat or ugly or poor, but they are funny and have a good time and people like them, right?
Kids like to be around other kids like them. I had a hard time in high school because I always wanted to be the rebel and stand out. I cut my hair really short and always wore black clothes. It wasn't until college that I realized how much easier life was if I just tried to fit in! I made so many more friends that way. I'm not saying to hide who you are, but for the sake of your sanity, don't push people away by proving to them how different you are.
Good luck, sweetie! I hope this helped a bit.
2007-04-18 12:46:48 · answer #1 · answered by purplebinky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
High School is a time that you care about what your classmates think, but once you leave high school is means absolutely nothing.
School friendships are sometimes a popularity contest and not really friendships. You say you used to hang around with a kid with some gay characteristics... why are you not hanging around him now? There are many shy people in school, so just start talking to another shy person. You say there are a couple nice people, so talk to them more.
Having true friends isn't how many you have, but how many good ones you have. When you are picked on, why care about what they think? You can't judge yourself on what someone else thinks... and if they are taking the time to pick on you they could even be jealous.
Don't worry about other people who may not be a part of your life in a few years, just be yourself and those who are nice to you might become true friends and those who pick on you aren't even worth the time to worry about.
2007-04-18 22:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I came out to my friends when I was 14 years old. I guess that was the right move, except that I trusted the wrong people. So in the end, almost all of the people in my school alienated me. I felt really lonely back then, spending most of my recess time alone at the library, I guess reading was my way of putting the feelings of loneliness aside. All through secondary school, that was my life. I had panic attacks all the time in class, seeing all my classmates chatting with friends. I got out of my hometown as soon as I finished secondary school so that I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. Recently, I've met this gay friend that had the same experience, except that instead of running away from it, he stood up for himself, and he tried to prove that he's a good person, that gays are people who need friends too, that he's a great friend. After that, he managed to get his friends back on his side. So my advice is this, don't do what I did. Do what he did. Save your friendship. Work for it! Later when you graduate, you will feel proud that you have friends, you will miss them and you will feel loved. Good luck!
2007-04-19 01:37:15 · answer #3 · answered by renaudldw 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's awful! I'm so sorry that you don't have many friends, but you can't really blame people for being rude. I'm not saying that what they are doing is ok, it's just that people don't typically like change or people who arwe different. I can kind of relate because i I had no friends for awhile, altough i am not gay. Just hang in there and maybe you'll find a person who can look beyond your sexual orientation. Good luck!
2007-04-18 19:45:33 · answer #4 · answered by Mary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont worry about it so much, I know thats hard but the more you let it bother you the more people will mess with you, worry about important things like school work, and later on in life when your getting into a good college and those kids that picked on you are struggling you will have the last laugh, but let it bother you and consume your life, and you will be the one who gets no where.
2007-04-18 19:47:11 · answer #5 · answered by blackfoxeric 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try going to a church that is accepting of gays and join the youth group there. school isn't the only game in town.
start volunteering with an organization that helps people with aids or something. they are usually pretty accepting.
start getting involved with organizing the local gay pride parade. good luck.
2007-04-18 19:43:52 · answer #6 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? Studies show that most kids go through a "Gay" stage while growing up where they prefer the company of their own sex. This is normal!! Continuing it through adulthood is not. You need to meet some girls (even if you have to go to another town or area) and get to know them. It won't be easy or happen quickly but eventually you'll start feeling comfortable around your new friends. Good luck!
2007-04-18 19:49:14 · answer #7 · answered by Concerned 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Are you sure everybody stopped talking to you? Well, that's a lot of people.
You should venture out and meet new people, places, and things. Find other people with the same interests as you, and also people who'll respect for the individual you are.
2007-04-18 19:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by Shae C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't really answer well here, but I can tell you that HS was a horrible experience for me being gay as I it has been for many others. Email me at jordan.robert@yahoo.com or msn robjordan2572@hotmail .com if you wanna talk sometime. Believe me.........I understand. Rob
2007-04-18 20:17:30 · answer #9 · answered by ramblin' robert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join the local gay support group. Helping others makes you feel better about yourself & others will be attracted to your self-confidence.
2007-04-18 19:43:34 · answer #10 · answered by J9 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋