I am set to be married in a week. This is my second marriage whereby I have 2 kids from previous marriage. My new husband is 9 years younger then me! And I am 5 month pregnant with his child. He treats me great, I never had a man that was so good to me. I never met anyone with whom I had such a great understanding, love, etc. I am happy. My kids are happy. BUT, I am scared that when I get older he will loose interest and leave me for a younger woman. I didnt feel like this before pregnancy. On the other hand, we didnt plan to marry then. I mean we talked about it, but weren't going to do it for couple of years. I am older, I make more money, he gains more by being with me then I (in terms of finances, etc). I trust him, but I am just constantly paranoid that he wont be with me until the end. I even became a jelous person (i never was like this before). I dont know how to control it. We walk together and I NOTICE younger girls. Its crazy...How do I stop it? Why is this happening?
2007-04-18 10:30:57 · 9 answers · asked by nika 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My sister married a younger man and after 12 years together he left. That is a real possibility. Each situation is different though, yours may not. But if you keep on with that fear then you will push him away for sure. My sister became really insecure and it wasn't until then that he even noticed the age difference. Enjoy each other and just keep working on strengthening your bond together. Drop the jealously and never mention these insecurities to him. Talk to friends about it instead. Normally I would say to talk to your partner about everything, but this is one of those things that could bring disaster. If he doesn't notice then don't bring it to his attention. Focus on your love and all will be fine.
2007-04-18 10:42:47 · answer #1 · answered by lily_florance 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Everyone in my family has the pattern of being married with younger men and older women and none of them have gotten divorced, but all the marriages that are older men and younger women have -- I'm sure that's just coincidence, but I definitely wouldn't worry about the fact that you are older. I think a lot of times it is a good thing for some weird reason.
Also on the rare chance that he did leave you, you would be better off without the kind of loser husband that would leave a wife and his kids. And since you are making more money than him financially you should be OK. And you would probably find a much better guy than him in that case! So I wouldn't worry at all!!!
2007-04-18 11:18:53 · answer #2 · answered by Karen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you afraid of, the age difference? That's something you cannot change so before you leap into a marriage with all these fears and doubts, think seriously about what you are doing to yourself.
If you've never had a man that treated you this good, you should appreciate him for the man that he is and stop worrying over what if's. Even if he was 9 years older than you, you would still have to worry about looking to old for your man. Quit letting your hormones dictate your life right now and be happy!!!
2007-04-18 10:53:16 · answer #3 · answered by lwheavenlyangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems your hormones have taken over, Trust me I know... I’m 6 months pregnant My other half is also 5 years younger then me. The thoughts that go threw my head at times are a bit much.
Not only is it hormones, this is also your second marriage. You have gone threw this before which ended up becoming a divorce with two kids to take care of. Pre-wedding jitters are setting in. This leads to second thoughts and analyzing the relationship. Jitters are picking up on faults and little things that didn’t matter to you before.
As for the money I can’t see that being an issue... you making more then he does. Keep in mind there are some really nice looking ladies out there, and a lot of them do lack experience, knowledge and common sense. A number of men prefer and are attracted to older women cause they already know what they want, have reached a number of goals, feel they wont be used either for their wallet... ect.... also don’t have the same insecurities as the younger ones.
Ladies please don’t take offence, I am not saying all are like this... a lot these days just don’t have much respect or pride in themselves (same as men). I see a number of them crossing the line and acting and looking like ***’s to get attention. Cause problems by going a bit too far and don’t care who they hurt in the process to get what they want. Women older do it too, I worked with one who always went the extreme just to be centre of attention. And you will both come across those.
Your hubby is 9 years younger you, as you can see he doesn’t want that BS that ladies his age do. He needs someone with class and knows who they are. Most men are attracted to more then the face and body... They really want someone they can talk with, do things and so forth. This is what makes a woman attractive to them, not just what size of boobs....
Men look period... Happy or not... Its natural, we do it too, just not as much. Of course people will notice him and vice versa.
You are with a man who treats you real good and makes you feel good, excited there is another child coming, has accepted yours. He also wants to marry you and not because of the child. He sees a good future.
Tell him how you are feeling so it doesn’t build up into a volcano and you erupt over something that is purely irrelevant. Let him know its hormones going into over drive, this is your second marriage, and so forth. I bet he will be more flattered then upset over it.
2007-04-18 11:47:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slow down sweetie. It'll be okay. Pregnancy hormones and wedding jitters are getting the best of you. I got married when I was 5 months pregnant and similar things went through my head. Along with a lot of other stuff.
You said he treats you well. Well he does that for a reason. It's because he loves you and wants to be with you. If you aren't too old for him now, you won't be later. Remember, he'll get older too.
2007-04-18 11:15:33 · answer #5 · answered by Jennie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He chose you!
Have faith in yourself and in him.
Nothing in life is guaranteed, be happy and be confident.
My husband left me for a woman that was 12 years older than me and 8 years older than him. If a marriage isn't going to work, it doesn't matter what the age differences are.
2007-04-18 10:36:27 · answer #6 · answered by hi_stk_n 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have someone that cares for you,so stop with the i am afraid.Live your life and be happy.You will never know what tomorrow will bring.So stop worring about that and love him and be happy.
2007-04-18 10:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by junior1108 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hormones Hormones Hormones............. That's all it is. You will be fine and if he leaves you it well be because you drove him nuts with your jealousy and paranoia. Relax and enjoy this new adventure...
2007-04-18 10:38:34 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well then u do something about it...
after the baby comes....get back to your prepregnancy weight...keep yourself looking nice and DO NOT GET FAT AND FLABBY like lots of older married people...keep yourself up...and keep hubby happy in the bedroom
2007-04-18 10:36:51 · answer #9 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋