my life ?my husband and alcohol?

Question

my husband has drank so much through our marriage and has hit me and the kids and he has changed and in rehab now but cps is involved now cause of him they say he can come back but has to go to classes he is better i have seen him just dont know what to do cause if this does happen they will take the kids. I still love him and dont know what to do it hurts so much i know i cant let him come back but it just hurts so much and i dont know how to get over it

Answer 1

He has anger and alcohol problems. If CPS sees that you are not addressing the situation, they will. Right now, you have to keep him away from your kids, or you will lose them. If he has to see your kids, ask CPS to provide supervision for the visits.

Until then, you just have to bare it until the vision of CPS is off of you.

Answer 2

I went through a similar situation with my now ex-wife. She was drinking all the time and was not picking up our 5 year old at the time from school or was not home when the bus dropped him off. Left my then 2 year old daughter at a treatment center. CPS got involved and removed her from the home due to Neglect. This was all happening while I was on business trips for my company. I thought it would stop. But once CPS is involved it's tough.

I would get a hearing scheduled so you can have him removed from the home so he can not abuse the children or you any longer. CPS will monitor your home and his. Ask that he have supervised visits. It doesn't matter if he has been through rehab and changed. Has he changed that much in 10 to 30 days? He might have, but it is now your responsibility as a mother to protect your children, still from him and from CPS.

I know it hurts, it hurt me as well, but I had to think of my children. They didn't ask for their mother to be an alcoholic, nor did yours about their father. Once CPS closes the case then you can think about having him come home, if you still want to. He needs to take time and do some more recovering and face the things he has done.

Keep your chin up. Do the right thing for your kids and you.

Answer 3

I know first hand how hard it is..... I divorced my husband after 10 years of marriage.... he was an alcoholic and very abusive. He has basically abandoned our kids, makes no effort to contact them and it hurts my kids. I kept giving him chances and it didn't work... even after the divorce, we still saw each other because he was "trying" to be better but nothing changed. I still care about him after 2 years of divorce and now he is dating a crackhead who gave birth to her kids in prison.... so I am positive the best thing I ever did was let him go.... but I am not nearly over it... I cried last night when I saw them driving down the road together.... It takes a while because you put so much effort into the relationship just hoping and praying it will get better and they will "see the light" but they don't and it's just another slap, after slap, after slap in the face. Keep him away for the sake of the kids..... once an addict, always an addict.... and if your kids are like mine, they haven't forgotten what he did to you. Be strong for the kids and make a life for you and them that does not include him or alcohol. My kids cannot stand to be around alcohol..... of any kind. Be strong!!!

Answer 4

I am a domestic violence survivor. My ex husband drank 24-7 and use to beat the heck out of me. He controlled me and broke me down to the point I thought I was not worth anything and that I could not make it without him. I have proved him wrong over and over again. I begged him to quit drinking and he would promise over and over again to stop. He did for week or so and then started right back up again. Cops were at my house so many times, I now have a great friendship with the Sherrif. You can't make him change. When my ex through my daughter across the room one night, I said that was it. He was not going to start on her, so I left that night with nothing but the clothes on my back and my daughters. After that night, I got a PPO and a divorce. My life is so much better and so is my daughters. She laughs now. I cried for many nights, wondering if I did the right thing. Thank goodness I had great friends that helped me get through. You need to be strong and think about the kids. He left you a long time ago when he started replacing you with the bottle. Good luck to you and your children. Please think about them first.

Answer 5

Maybe you love him but he is not only and alcoholic he is physically abusive from what you say. Not only to you but to your children. You must put your children's welfare first and foremost even if you don't yours. Get out of this relationship before serious damage is done and you lose those kids. Surely you can see that your children need your love and support because it sounds like they do not have thier fathers. He has chosen the route that he has...your children on the other hand are innocent victims.

Answer 6

i feel your pain, i've been around the rehab, alcohol, kids, abuse...i honestly think that you must ask yourself if there is "any" possiblity that things can be worked out...and if you answered "yes" are you willing to go the distance without any promise?....if you still want to answer "yes" ...i think you need to prepare yourself and your family for a "great battle"...if he is in rehab, he knows about A/A and the twelve steps....it works, trust me, my girlfriend is doing it right now and she is 2 years sober!!!.......i think that it will dramatically help "your "families odds of success if you get involved...when i say involved, i mean involved!!...go get a book, go with him to the meetings, the whole nine yards....if you are still willing to do this i ask only one thing , do it will all of your heart, because that is what it's gonna require... good luck...please feel free to e-mail me [e-mail]

Answer 7

You can't lose your kids over a man who has alcohol and abuse problems no matter what you still feel for him. They don't deserve to lose everything either. You will have to put your head on straight here and do the right thing for them. They need you.

Answer 8

Don't allow someone like that around you or your kids. None of you are his personal punching bags and you need to let him know he crossed the line and there is no going back. Someone needs to protect your children and they are not worth losing over a drunken abusive man.

Answer 9

ahhh I can answer this one I was the child you have that are in the middle... my parents fought all the time and both drank... my mother was worse then my father ... one of the weekly fights my fathers glasses got knocked off... I reached in between my mother and father while she was pushing him out the door ... He left she turns to me then starts screaming at this point I was scared to death I had seen all their fights and knew what was coming next.. I lived in the north I was 10 years old barefoot in the middle of winter with a nightgown on... at 2 am in the morning she pushed me out the front door and told me if I loved my father so much to go and find him... This has damaged my relationship with her so much ...... due to this the Police seen me on a payphone calling my aunt collect... they took me in... I heard my mother act like i ran away and she couldnt find me... the cops already knew they went back to the house later to get my brother from her she hid int he attic with him he was 6 and mentally disable.... My parents did not deserve to have children since neither one had enough sense to get out of this relationship and raise thier children safely and lovingly.... First you need to leave for your children safety second if you dont you deserve to have your children taking away and never see them again... third you need to respect yourself... yeah he has a problem yeah he got help so did my parents when i was 10 I'm 30 now my mom quite when she had a heartattack after being homeless for 7 years.. when I was 24 a little late for me ... My dad actually stopped when he tried to kill himself recently They gave him medication that makes him deathly ill.... My mother has mentally messed herself up... Get away this is something that has to have the slate clean in order to start over...

Answer 10

The violence is very damaging, in addition there will be emotional harm too.
Marrage is supposed to be for ever, but living and supporting him harms alot too. You may have to live apart.
'Whats love got to do with it'?
Be a strong person.