Ok..We decided fr me to move back in with him. But nothing is peachy, he still sleeps on the couch, not much talking etc. I talked to him today and he said that just because we are back living together that not everything is on good terms. I thought when people come back together its all happy and fun, and everything sugarcoated. But he isn't sugar coating anything just act how he feels, he told me yes he loves me, and wants to be with me but not everything will go to being a big happy family until we work things out more. My heart is broken again. He keeps saying I'm the one that left and he just asked me to come back, to work everything out. So now I kinda feel like I can't have a say in anything because I left and should of just stayed gone.
I need some help to get thru this I thought our life would be grand, but its not, Will it change in time? Once we talked more, etc? Any advice would be great.
I'm just confused on how this is supposed to go.
2007-04-18 09:53:58 · 6 answers · asked by ERICKSMAMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds just like my life at one time, except I was the one who left. My wife told me to come home so I did and when I did she ignored me and we slept in different beds, for a month at least. It was difficult, but I was sincere in my attempt to make things right and in a short period of time she came around.
I say give it some time. Things are acceptable now and that's better than they ever were before.
2007-04-18 10:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by VOTE RON PAUL 2008 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you really have to admire the fact that he is being honest. You should find this time to be challenging yet rewarding. The fact that he wants to work things out is great. The key to this situation is to be a good listener. Let him talk and just listen to what he has to say. When he is done then state your feelings. You both need to really HEAR what the other one is saying and come to a mutual ground that will work for the both of you on fixing the problem. Good Luck!
2007-04-18 10:05:24 · answer #2 · answered by lily_florance 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You screwed up when you left. It showed him that you are not committed to him or the relationship. That at the first sign of trouble you will turn tail and leave him. What guy wouldn't doubt you now? You are immature and unrealistic in thinking that just coming back things would be fine. Could you make yourself sound any more like a child? Why don't you just kick your ruby red slippers together and wish LOL.
If I was him, I would kick you to the curb and find someone new. You don't deserve a second chance and to be with a good guy. Let him find a good women instead of you.
2007-04-18 10:02:01 · answer #3 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Gosh, Pumpkin, that's got to be hard on you. It is supposed to be all kisses and hugs and renewed love when you come back from a separation. You are right about that. Putting it as politely as I can, your husband sounds like a knothead. I think you should consider separating again, and tell him you are leaving until he has proven to you that he loves you as much as he did before. Life is short, Pumpkin, and if this guy doesn't love you there are plenty of guys in the world who will.
2007-04-18 10:07:00 · answer #4 · answered by John Timothy 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well this is not good. Did ya'll go to couseling? It's going to take time. He needs to understand that it takes two to make a marriage and one to make a divorce. Pointing out that it was you..this and you that....is not good and self-defeating. Don'r get broken hearted. Just communicate, work things out and hopefully everythign will get settled. Just concentrate on communicating and ensure that no finger-pointing takes place. He's not allowed to finger point either. It takes two.
2007-04-18 10:04:13 · answer #5 · answered by prouddaddy 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Unless you're both willing to make it work and give it your all, it's not going to work out.
2007-04-18 10:17:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋