Serious help - I'm worried about my friend?

Question

In grade school I had a friend. In 5th grade he used to be a total geek but was still really funny and we became friends. He used to get picked on alot, until he started "de-geeking" himself. I didn't care, I'm friends with him for who he is (not a relationship; just good friends). So he became "normal" in 8th grade, and then went on to on of those all-boys college-prep high schools. He still was social freshman year, and we and his other friends hung out about every weekend. I noticed he seemed upset, and he just made jokes about his school sucking. He's now in 11th grade, and has changed completely. He never wants to do anything anymore, and sometimes doesn't return phone calls. He always says he is really busy with school, but he has been really wierd. He has looked really upset and has become extremely withdrawn. When we do hang out, he is quiet, reserved, and looks like he is afraid of something. He always tries to avoid talking about himself whenever I ask how he is

doing. I became really worried when I smelled smoke on his clothes and confronted him about it. He tried to dodge it, but then got really mad and yelled and said he smoked and told me he doesn’t give a f*ck, so why should I. I found out he’s not going to his prom, and when I asked why, he said he doesn’t care. I was talking to his best friend and his friend told me that in a conversation he (the friend I’m worried about) said that he has never shared his feelings with anyone. Thinking about it, I realized he has never been open and only talks about how he hates his school (he has never gotten along with other guys very well, he connects better with girls; and yes he is straight). He has also always had conflicts with his parents, but for the past 2 years he has not let anyone near his house. I don’t know what’s wrong with him, or what I should do. It’s great to be a caring friend, but its no good if I can’t help him.

I worried that something is going very wrong in his life. Please, what should I do?

I've tried talking - he refuses to, saying he is fine and nothing is wrong. I know he's lying, but he nevers says anything else.

Answer 1

Don't get tired of his weird attitudes. do't stop hanging out with him, infact u should encourage that more but be careful, don't go to him to where both of u will be alone as U don't really know what's up with. Don't press him for information as this may scare him away from you. But let him know U have listening ears for him. tell him things u know he likes to hear. Tell him a lot of things about yourself, sooner or later, he'll come out of his shell and open up to you when he sees u really care.
But pls, do not compromise too much. Don't get harmed or get into some things he does (like smoking) in order to win his trust. There are many other things u can do together like taking a walk or playing his favourite game together.
He'll eventually come out of it. just have a lot of patience for him. Goodluck with him and for him.

Answer 2

You are a good person and a good friend to be concerned. If you have been watching the news, then you know that a troubled young man like the one you are describing took a gun and killed 31 of his classmates. Everyone who knew him is saying he was kind of a loner and didn't talk to anyone, and when he did, he was rude and only gave one-word answers.

So, if you suspect your friend might be depressed or on drugs, or just having trouble fitting in socially, talk to him. Ask him if he needs some help, or feels lonely. If he opens up to you and it sounds like he's really having extreme problems, you might want to talk to his parents, or maybe another adult who can help him. You might end up saving his life, or others' lives, or at least turning his life around.

Good luck! You are a good person for caring!

Answer 3

There's nothing you CAN do, except be there for him, support him always (morally). When he's 18 he can run away to the military, or go to college, or do whatever he wants - he'll be free. But until that day, his parents have every legal right to make his life suck as long as they do not abuse him.

And if you're thinking of reportin abuse to CPS, choose carefully - there had better be some damn strong evidence - like bruising or blood - and an orphanage away from his friends is not going to improve his life much.

Being a teenage these days REALLY sucks. George Carlin says, "Of COURSE kids are going to smoke and drink and do drugs - it HELPS!"

Hang in there, you'll both be free soon enough.

Answer 4

I would find a school counselor or some objective, adult professional person you can talk to for advice about how to handle the situation at your local level. It appears that he may have a drug problem and/or suffering from mental illness. I would not waste any time getting this advice. It would be great if you could speak to someone who specializes in counseling people in his age group...Good luck!

Answer 5

This is similar to what the kids who knew the person responsible for the Virginia Tech. shootings.
Call his school and voice your concerns to a counselor.
Maby talk to his parents.
Best of Luck to You.
I hope things work out for your friend.

Answer 6

Talk to him! You guys are best friends so he should listen... if he doesnt want to talk or doesnt seem to listen then something is wrong!


Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

Call his parents and tell them what you wrote here and maybe they will be able to help.If not contact a counselor at his school and tell them.

Answer 8

Maybe it is puberty
maybe he is being abused
mayby he was fored to drug and now is addicted
maybe he is too "cool" in his eyes for you
what ever it is try to tell him you are worried! pray and hope for him and don't butt in to his life
every thing will be ok

Answer 9

You really need to talk to him and express your concerns. Tell him how worried you are.

Answer 10

hmmm maybe he is telling the truth maybe hes not. you should sit him down and ask him, wats wrong and demand for an aswer