Okay, well i'm just about five months along and this baby wasn't planned at all and the father wanted me to get an abortion all along and is still to this day mad at me because i didnt.. first off he tells me that i messed up our relationship by having this baby (been together 2 years) and he fights with me everytime we talk about the baby and he says it makes him sick and hes not ready to be a dad .. will this all blow over once the baby is here? ((i know it was selfish of me to have this baby anyway but i am against abortions and hes against adoption))
2007-04-18 09:17:23 · 14 answers · asked by XGlaMkiLLedHerX 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Hope for the best and a change of heart when the baby comes, but atthe same time you have to prepare yourself to do it on your own if he is not going to help. Its not selfish of you, its life. Goodluck!
2007-04-18 09:23:46 · answer #1 · answered by Bored 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
IT'S NOT SELFISH OF YOU. Saying that sounds like you let him break you down. Be stronger than that. YOU didn't ruin anything becuase it takes TWO to get the job done. If he didn't want a baby you two should have discussed that and you should have gotten the pill or he should have worn a condom. Counseling would be good for you two. Tell him that you need him around but it only makes everything harder if he acts like the way he is. How can he be mad at YOU? This guy has some issues and is VERY backwards... But you did use the term "baby daddy" so from the start I didn't have much confidence in the situation. Get him on board and try to appeal to his softer side by having him understand your position and worry. If he doesn't, be more forceful and directive and tell him what you need him to do. If he doesn't shape up, you may have to just go ahead and leave him. It's hard but sometimes you just have to do it. Maybe give it a few months after the baby is here to see if it really does "blow over". Nobody can tell you for certain if it will or not, we don't have a crystal ball.
2007-04-18 09:28:29 · answer #2 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only hope that things get better once the baby comes. But, just for your own peace of mind... prepare for the baby as if he's not going to be around. The stress of worrying about him is not good for you or the baby anyway. If anything, he's the selfish one. Not you. Bringing a new life into this world and caring for this child is the least selfish thing you can do. Good luck... I hope all works out.
2007-04-18 09:25:57 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is NOT selfish for you to have the baby. Your b/f is selfish for telling you to get rid of it. I would be less worried about how your boyfriend feels and more worried about how you are going to get him to do his part. Whether or not he sticks around is hard to tell but from the sound of it-he is a jerk and I wouldn't waste any more time with someone like that. You messed up the relationship? Is that because you forced him to stick his penis inside you without protection? I dont' think so. It takes two to make a baby and if he wasn't prepared for the possibility of becoming a daddy, he shouldn't have had unprotected sex.
2007-04-18 09:39:02 · answer #4 · answered by Julie J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may change, or it may not. He needs to grow up, no one is ever totally ready for parenting. He felt grown up enough to have sex with you didn't he? The fact of the matter is that the situation is what it is, and no matter how much you guys fight, it doesn't change the fact that you're pregnant. You need to sit his immature self down and find out where you guys stand. If he doesn't want to be a father to your child, fine, make sure you get child support, and leave him be. Why would you waste your time on someone who doesn't even value how special having a child is? You need to stop caring about what he thinks or says or does and worry more about your baby. If you do what is best for your baby, you won't have regrets later.
2007-04-18 09:41:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as long as you know that you probably will be doing this alone do not worry about him. If you can not handle the baby with out the daddy then you might need to re think adoption. It might blow over.. that is a big maybe and the bigger question is if he does get happy how long will it last?
2007-04-18 09:46:00 · answer #6 · answered by mommy of 2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I cannot tell by your answer if you are planning to keep the baby or give it up for adoption. If you chose to give it up for adoption, he can fight the adoption, but in most states, if he has not been supportive to you, a judge will terminate his rights. If you chose to keep the child, you need to determine what the influence of this man will be on this child's life, and decided how much contact you want him to have. If he doesn't want the child now, be careful how he treats the baby when it is born.
2007-04-19 09:35:57 · answer #7 · answered by adoptive mom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! It won't blow over when the baby arrives...in fact, with you both being exhausted from being up all night, plus the fact that you have another human in your household, it is very likely to get WORSE!
Having a baby is absolutely NOT a reason to stay with someone.
Having a jerk of a boyfriend is EVERY reason to keep him away from your beautiful new baby.
Your boyfriend is acting like a child himself...if he can't grow up, and accept the responsibilities that come with being an adult (and having sex), then you need to toss him to the curb. Seriously. You want a man in your life, not a boy!
2007-04-18 09:28:05 · answer #8 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he didnt want a kid he should have kept it in his pants. u are cutting him too much slack. u didnt make this baby by yourself. so now U BOTH have to accept the outcome. he needs to grow up asap or u need to leave him alone. the baby is coming whether he likes it or not and he can either get down w/it or bounce and let him know you will have the child support papers drawn up.
im 5 mos. too and i know ur going thru a lot, you may not be emotionally prepared to end your long term relationship at such a fragile point in your life. keep him around for now if you need to but dont count on him to be superdad in the future. when he sees that baby, he might be enlightened and realize his blessing, or he might split. be prepared.
2007-04-18 22:13:59 · answer #9 · answered by jean grey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure hun if it will or not hopefully so but i wouldn't have high hopes of it. Always be prepared for the worst is my motto. I'm sorry he is being such a selfish jerk you dint need that while pregnant. One would hope that one he sees that child's beautiful face he will fall in love with him/her and see you in a new loving light. I'm not sure why if he was SO against the 2 of u having a child why he would risk getting you pregnant very irresponsible on his part. I'm very sorry to hear of your situation and i truly do hope it changes. Good Luck
2007-04-18 09:31:36 · answer #10 · answered by jessica s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋