ok im nearly married to a lovely man, we have a two year old son lately everything is so serious i feel like ive been married for 50 years where is the fun and laughter gone and how do we get it back without splitting up??
2007-04-18 07:48:06 · 13 answers · asked by lynners 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
God,I know how you feel, it's such a Bummer,your not alone, unfortunately I only seen this stuff when it was too late.
Get a Baby sitter and try and do as much together as pos,do stuff that helps you both keep your own identity,really difficult I know, but you must try and have a relationship beyond kids,if not, throw yourselves whole heartedly into parenthood and realish on it, the choice is yours.
2007-04-18 08:14:07 · answer #1 · answered by live life 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a 2 year old is hard work, there's no other way to say that. What you have to do is focus on each other more than the baby, and I know that sounds wrong, but it isn't. My husband and I loved each other long before we had our children, and we'll love each other long after they've grown and left home. But if we don't nurture that love while the children are still here, it will die. I have a friend who told his children (who are now grown) that they were furniture to him. He was half joking, but after his son got married and had a child, the son knew exactly what his father meant. You have to put your spouse before your children. If you don't, you won't have a spouse.
Have weekly date nights with your husband. That's probably the biggest thing I can reccommend. Yes, it's worth the sitter, yes, the baby will be fine with a sitter. Make your husband's comfort your focus, and he will do the same with you. Do the things you both enjoy doing together. My husband told me the other day that he even enjoys doing the mundane things with me, like yesterday when we dropped our taxes off at the post office, and then went and got ice cream (because SOMETHING'S got to sweeten the day, right?)
Put your marriage first, and things will be ok. Best of luck to you!
2007-04-18 14:58:21 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship has moved to a new plane....you have a baby and it changes everything. If you have a wonderful man consider yourself lucky and look for ways to be together without your baby. Have date nights and see if you can also make some time after your son goes to bed if it's just a glass of wine and small talk. It takes a lot of effort but it's a better way than splitting up.
2007-04-18 15:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you have to make time for just the two of you. It's so easy to get lost in the day to day worries. I agree with some of the others, pick one night a week just for the two of you...a "date" night. It doesn't have to be anything big, go catch a movie, or rent some movies and just snuggle up on the couch together. Leave him little notes saying how much you love him and can't wait to spend the rest of your life with him. Call him up just to say "I Love You" during the day (if it's ok with his work to receive personal phone calls), like the other person said, go back to the basics. Good luck!
2007-04-18 15:02:19 · answer #4 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that is the case, I guess, you have to find some activities that you both enjoy, maybe go out of town and be away from everybody and the busy life so that you can really feel if it is still a relationship that is worth holding on. Don't try to hold on things which do not work anymore, just for people around you to know that you can maintain a wonderful relationship. Just follow your heart. hope things will be wonderful!
2007-04-18 15:01:37 · answer #5 · answered by bLueBerrY999 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very normal first of all, relationships are like roller coasters. You all are just in the valley, but there are ways to get to the pinnacle moments. Sometimes spontaneity doesn't work when you are in a rut, I would be normal. 2am sex surprises are always good - it takes a lot of effort, but it works. Take the baby to mom's or auntie's house and go to the movies. Do one on one things and that can start the rekindling process. Send a "just thinking of you" card or deliver lunch to his job just because.
Are you all interested in getting married?
2007-04-18 15:03:59 · answer #6 · answered by K B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With a two year old son just be glad that you have a wonderful man. It is time for you to be serious now. It can't all be fun and games.
2007-04-18 14:51:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make sure that you both go out to the pub,restaurant or whatever you enjoy doing regulary.
Its lovely having a family,But you need some time just the two of you,together.....its nice having something to look forward to.
Have fun!!
2007-04-18 15:14:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First find a babysitter you trust - for over night. Rent a nice hotel room and have the key messengered to him at work with a sexy note to meet you there. Be ready when he walks in with a bottle of champagne and a smile.
2007-04-18 14:54:52 · answer #9 · answered by ladyovr50 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to work to keep the happiness going in you relationship. my wife and i drop note and there are time her and i just wont to hold each other so we go if into are room close the door and just hold. these are thing that help keep a mar rage alive. Good Luck.
2007-04-18 15:01:19 · answer #10 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋