Whats your favorite comebacks? 10points for best?

Question

and what is it comebacking to (what comment)
(like "my favortie comeback to"shut up" is "shut dont go up it go down, but advice do, so take your own advice and shut the heck up") yea, you get it

personally i like to say "urmom" to ... basically anything and also (my new favorite...thx to trisha) "mhhmm, ok, whatever you say, if thats what you think..ect" (i do that one when people are like "your so blah, your a blah, you dont care about anyone...blaah blah blah, (and a whole lotta crap thats not true) and you got to say it like in the whole ''i dont beleive you but im saying i do, think what you, like voice"
IT MAKES PEOPLE SO MAD! hahaha and its not like your saying anything thatll get you in trouble . hahaha!

Answer 1

A friend in Highschool was about to get his @$$ pounded
by like 20 guys. me and another friend walked up, and
paused... exchanged those quick wordless glances:
"should we jump in to help"
"theres a lot of em..."
"he IS supposed to be our friend.."
"if we leave, maybe no one noticed us...."
"but...were friends..."
"we DID save him last week, should count 4 something"

anyway... we had almost resigned to step in.....when....
our friend kept getting pushed back forcefully
and was saying "I dont wanna fight you man"
the leader stepped up shoved him into a wall and said:
"hey man! how come you're such a P###Y ??!!??!!"

without even turning my head away... I could see
the light from my friends face standing next to me
he knew I was gonna say it as soon as I did

so I yelled out "you are what you eat D##Khead!"
EVERYONE stopped... the leader, his minions,
our squirming friend.... all the bystanders.
all faces turned to me.

the friend standing next to me took a half step back,
but paused when no one came after us....

our friends fear drained from his eyes,
he looked at me.... and understood....
I saw his eyes smile before his mouth moved....
...which it didnt even have time to do....

the leader was looking back over his shoulder
with his chin and neck exposed...
one millionth of a second later a fist had contacted
and spun him the rest of the way around.

everything was STILL dead quiet after me yelling
so the sound echoed off of everything
everyone looked back in disbeleif
as the body was crumbling.

it took a good 2 seconds to break the silence.....
and then EVERYONE was laughing at once.
the guys own friends were pointing and laughing at him!
people were ACTUALLY falling down from laughing.

then the ones that were still standing (not rolling/laughing)
started patting him on the back and shoulders.

we still laugh about it and call it "The McFly Moment"
but I tell ya, George Myfly was nothing by comparison.

hehehe...

------------------------------

Me and a girl I know were at the mall,
(very blunt / rude / outspoken / FUN !!)
we passed the girl at the cosmetics counter and
the girl that was sitting there supposedly working..
(you know her... the one wearing EVERY shade sold?)
was putting on ANOTHER layer of makeup...
she looks up and smiles at us as we walk past
(as shes paid to do) and IMIDIATELY I smell trouble.
"Hi, would YOU like a FREE makeover ?!"
she stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look
her square in the eyes and said in a matter-of-fact voice
"huuh... not if I'm gonna look like YOU"
and turned back and continued on her way....
everyone but us stopped
when we got to the exit I snuck a peek over my shoulder,
she was STILL standing there
with her mouth open in dis-beleif

Answer 2

Many years ago my hubby and I were on vacation in the Fort Lauderdale, FL and since it was the first time we visited that city, we got a bit lost looking for a particular restaurant. After we had been looking for the restaurant's address for some time we finally spotted it....on the opposite side of the street. My hubby says okay and proceeds to make a u-turn right in the middle of the street. At the same time a lady was crossing the street and had made it as far as the median strip (where we were) as my husband started to make his u-turn. As it was a beautiful evening our vehicle windows were down and the lady says (inches from my face) in a very nasty tone, "Is that LEGAL?!" (meaning the u-turn) and I say (are your ready?) "No, is your breath?!" You should have seen her face! :O

That was 20 years ago and we still laugh about it!

Currently, I tend to say:

"So's your face!"
"Your momma!"
"I'm sorry, did you say something? I don't speak azzhole"

Answer 3

Well my comebacks are mostly for fun but I usually have the following conversation
Someone: This locker(or anything) smells like butt.
responce
"you smell like butt"..."ya know how butt got its name..it looked you up in the dictionary".

Someone: This assignment looks difficult
responce
you look difficult
your mom looks difficult
your face looks difficult
your pet iguana looks difficult(i made that one up one day and now all of my friends have imaginary pet iguanas.
hope you fine what you are looking for.

Answer 4

uh huh, yeah, so.. blah blah blah! hahaha! Love your comment about shut don go up! LOL

Answer 5

hahah well my personal favorite, if youve seen the move The Longest Yard, when the guy dressed up as a cheerleader goes "Whatever back freckle." to this really short guy making fun of him ahahah either that or my personal favorite, "atleast im not ugly."

Answer 6

Oh you all are so funny.. I laughed so hard at this.. Great question!! lol

my comeback is usaully to just stare at them until they say what?? And I say nothing and walk away...

Answer 7

I love to say "Yes, but I can dress up in heels and make-up and look sexy. But YOU Can't FIX Stupid!" (only got to use it once, but it rocked the house) Thanks for Asking. I feel guilty. I'm a bad influence. Don't say that because you'll feel bad for about a year.

Answer 8

This isn't a comeback, but my favorite thing to say to somebody who's working is: "WORK HARDLY", I say it instead of bye, or have a nice day.

Answer 9

MY FAVORITE has to be when someone is giving you attitude you say "listen! if i wanted any of your lip i'd tell you to spread your legs!" and the stop talking the second. its funny you should try it

Answer 10

Take advice from Pink and ask; Can you spell that?