Married couples i need your answers!?

Question

I'm doing a opion paper for my college english class, my topic is, is it right to have sex before marriage or should you wait..im not sure my title yet but thats what its about my opion is it is fine to have sex before marriage as long as your in a good relationship and been with the person long enoff...Im wondering your opion on this to help me right my paper i need people who are for it and against it. Thanks!

Answer 1

I think it's fine, as long as everyone involved in the premarital sex is consenting, of legal age and is careful.

I think it helps the later marriage, as it doesn't leave the married people wondering what it might be like to have sex with other people and, potentially, curious enough to have an affair.

Experience (and mistakes) also help the partners to learn how to talk about sex, about what they like & don't like, so that they can have a more fulfilling relationship together.

Answer 2

My bf and I are on opposite ends on this one. He firmly believes that waiting for marriage is the right thing to do. I believe otherwise, I think if you are in love and been together a while and plan to marry then why not. I don't really think it should apply in the same way as it did way long ago in biblical times because at that time everyone married, nowadays less and less couples marry and have the same commitment to each other as if they were. Sometimes there are divorces now that drag on for eternity because one spouse wants the other to be miserable so then your waiting for that... It was also extremely frowned upon to have a child out of wedlock and waiting until marriage I think was passed on and on to stop this from happening. The families were shamed when this happened and often the girls were killed, Even today this happens still sometimes in some cultures. Anyways I just think it is outdated. BF says whatever was spoken by god (Bible) applies for all time to come no matter how much society changes. I ask him "Well what happens if you wait till marriage and have horrible sexual chemistry or come to find out that your wife hates sex"? He says that when you really love someone that much, you guys will mesh in the bedroom as well. Ok sorry this is all over the place but anyways waiting is good for some people, and I think if you dont want to and truly belive that you will marry, then why not. Just don't have sex with everyone and anyone...

Answer 3

Sex before marriage has become a norm. I feel that if your with the right partner and working toward marriage there is no harm,even if the marriage fails. I do not agree with certain religions that try to keep you a virgin until your married. Being with the right person and having a strong marriage means that two people have enough in common to make it work-well sex is part of that strong bond. Say one of the two is freaking wants hair pulled and butt spanked everytime and the other is a one postion lights out type sexually...How will that effect the relationship? Sex can make or break a marriage so finding a person that you can agree with and enjoy being with is of the upmost importants. Life aint like it was 50 years ago. Sex was not as openly talked about-you didnt go to Wal-mart and see 9 out of 10 women;s mag talking about sex...So my answer is YES it is okay to have sex before marriage -if both agree.....

Answer 4

Moral and ethical questions about the sexual relations aside for now, do you just want to be married, or are u discussing if you want a marriage to last a lifetime?

Please also consider your sources. You should find those rare couples that have already experienced lifelong marriages. Their wisdom and experience will be invaluable.

Being ready to have sex together does nothing to prepare you for marriage.

Working on being a couple, and working on a marriage are two different things. Having a sex life with your partner and managing a "good relationship" with him or her is not the same as two people that are working on a marriage.
You can have a good relationship with your boss, your co-workers, friends, etc, it doesnt mean you are now ready to begin a long term commitment together!

A marriage is total committment and agreement. Most will have difficulties and struggle. many will not survive, in california 75% end sadly in divorce*

Answer 5

In my opinion as a woman who had sexual relations before I was married, if I had to do it over again I would like to think I'd do the same thing. But there are pros and cons. If your husband/boyfriend is a jealous type and questions previous relationships it's not good. However I personally feel that after a certain point a relationship natural progresses and that the only way to tell if you are truly suited to one another in all ways is to be intimate with each other. I don't think that random sex is a good idea. I definitely feel that the relationship needs to naturally progress to that point where it's either grow or go type of thing. And if a woman really listens to her instincts when it reaches that point she will know if it's time to move forward or cut ties.
As a Christian I would like to say that I believe abstinance is a great idea in concept, but in reality it is not necessarily well proven.
Good luck on your papers and God Bless.

Answer 6

Honestly this goes back to bible and the bible says it's a sin but in reality it's 2007 and there are so many people with so many different beliefs. How many people are honestly waiting until marriage maybe a handful and my hat goes off to them but I need to test the water first marriage is such a huge commitment people have been divorced over this type of stuff after they get married they find out that there partner doesn't satisfy them the way they want to be satisfied and this results in divorce.

Answer 7

I had sex before I got married, and I do not regret it in the least. On the other hand, I can't say that the fact of when we first had sex had any effect on our marriage whatsoever, positive or negative.

Call me a hypocrite, but now that I have a 14-year-old daughter, I hope she does not have sex until she gets married! The reason why is that it is safer not to do so with regard to unwanted pregnancy. I have even said to her: get married first, and THEN, if you want, have a baby!

Answer 8

I have to admit, I'm going to be a "do what I say, not what I do" kinda parent when my kids are old enough.

I did have sex before marriage, and I regret the sexual relationships that I had before my wife came along.

My wife, however, she was a virgin when she met me. So she had the benefit of sharing her first time experience with someone who truly loves her, and eventually married her.

We're still madly in love today, but you always take a risk when you give away all the goods prematurely. It isn't guaranteed that our children would be so fortunate.

I would hope that my children will wait to have sex for the first time, with their spouses.

Answer 9

I think it is better to wait until marriage (even though I did not). There are too many people going around having sex with everyone they date and thinking it is normal. That is why there are so many sexual diseases going around, unwanted pregnancies, and abortions. This world is going down the toilet! If you and your spouse wait until you are married then you know that you are both clean and you wont have the luggage of all the other men/women who have been with your spouse before you. It will give you a peace.

Answer 10

I think that this is a changing answer. Before the 60's, I think that the answer was no, due to the extreme hardship that a woman would face if she was pregnant with no husband to support her, especially in a male dominated society.

However, now, with the legalization of abortion, the integration of women into the workforce, the social safety nets that protect single mothers, and people delaying getting married, I believe that having sex prior to getting married is useful to both parties. These benefits include fully knowing your partner (e.g. seeing them after they get the whole package), the ability to more freely find your life partner (since sex is removed as a motivation to getting married), and the ability to explore your sexuality prior to getting married are all good things.