Isn't it wrong to....?

Question

burden my online friend about my problems in life? He's my only friend, the closest one l have. We are close, but l don't want to put a lot on him, and sometimes it's better to just keep your council, make a stronger person out of yourself. But l sometimes feel l want someone to relate to about the things l'm going through.

Answer 1

This friend genuinely cares for you I'm sure. So you should feel free to tell him whatever you feel comfortable with.

Answer 2

If you're reporting your situation accurately, then this question is like asking about a mosquito bite after you've broken your leg. If you really have only one friend in the world, then you're probably so lonely and depressed that this is really a minor issue.

Ignoring the bigger issues you suggest and just answering your question, I disagree with the premise that keeping your counsel makes you a stronger person. Hiding your feelings gives you practice in developing a thick skin, which has its uses, but as a way of life it's too emotionally damaging. It's totally normal to want to relate to someone, in fact it's necessary for normal life. Most people will eventually go totally insane if they're held in solitary confinement for too long. So there's nothing wrong or unnatural in "burdening" your friend(s), and to some degree it's necessary.

As for the mechanics of relating, it depends on the tenor of the relationship. If you've always just joked around on-line and suddenly you e-mail that you're about to kill yourself then it is likely you'll scare him off. I'd suggest you start with some non-scary revelations and see how you're friend reacts. If he's a real friend he'll be willing to share, or at least listen. This process, by the way, is better thought of as "building intimacy" than "burdening".

I'll also add that if you're really depressed and/or unable to form any other friendships then you have a problem bigger than just relating on-line can solve and you ought to get professional help, like from a counselor. I was in over my head that way once and tried to tough it out, and I've always regretted it.

Houyhnhnm

Answer 3

Everyone's got problems in life, for those who tend to keep it all inside life gets progressively harder, stress becomes unbearable, aggrivation, it leads into your personal and private life. Talking about the things that bother you is a way to relieve the stress, and sometimes everyone needs a good shoulder to cry on. and when there is no one you can always talk to yourself, or God, for that matter, It's all the same. As long as you say it and come to your own conclusion, with or without help you are better off, and sometimes you just have to let go.

Answer 4

Go right ahead! That's what friends are for...but then, when you say online, be careful. People these days are good actors so you don't know who he really is, so I say talk to him about your burdens but never give him any personal information. =)

Answer 5

ask him if he is burden...before you do an action , besides if he is a friend of yours you will never be a burden to him...because he knows that you trust him.

Answer 6

I talk to people on line to take my mind off my own problems. If he's anything like me, vent all you want. :-)

Or send me an email, I'm pretty sympathetic usually. :-)

Answer 7

l can't decide for you....nor for him. It's a personal choice you guys do have to make, l guess.

Answer 8

Ask him how much he wants to hear.
It's his decision. He may want to be there for you for all of it.

Answer 9

ask other people you dont know they give good help. thats what i do