strained relationship..help..?

Question

my father stopped earning and had no savings.i am the only earning member.he has finally got a job and he is a senior citizen too.always fights with my mother..at times comes to beat her..all this disturbs me a lot.my mom has hypertension problem because of all this..i really get worried about what will happen..we have tried explaining many times to him tht we do care for him but he feels we want him to go away and leave us.he taunts saying you wanted me to work..now whn i am working ,if i get late,u ask y i am late and if i dont work you will say i dont work..how do i handle this? i love mom..cant see her full of tension always..money is the problem we have.

Answer 1

If he beats her or pushes her, he is a criminal and you should call #911 with no exceptions!
If you love your mother,like you say you do, get him out of there. Get counseling for yourself so you never, never have a man in your life that would touch you or yell at you. He sounds disturbed and may be on some drugs or needs some doctors help or locked up. Don't take grief from him and know this is BAD and DON'T put up with him. You are the provider and do not provide for him anymore. So don't be a willing part in his ability to beat your mom, verbally or physically! Move out for your freedom, safety and sanity too! Money is not the problem, it is his attitude.
Money would never get between my wife and I. We would live in a tent if we had to, because we are in love and that is what love is.
It sounds like he is an abuser and it has probably been like that for all of their relationship. Tell mom to leave him and live with you. If he doesn't get straight and she stays with him, she then needs to get mental help. Walk away from her problems if she doesn't take your advice. If she or you has him arrested; Let him stay in jail too! He has to dig out of his own problems. So don't be a crutch for an abuser. He has to applogize to you and your mom too! He put himself in this predicament, not you, or your mom. She will be happier when she stops being abused and she can then go on with her life. Do it before it's too late! Prayers for your pain and stength for your mom too!

Answer 2

Money, is an easy solution. If you guys were rich, do you think you'd be a happy family? Money or the lack there us causes no one to physical, or emotionally attack someone they are suppose to love. I don't think money is the issue. Talk to your father. Try not to blame him when you talk. Tell him how you feel and if talking to him you think won't work, write a letter but it's really important whatever medium you use.

If you start blaming him right off the bat, then you won't get anywhere and the conversation becomes very defensive and tension in everyone rises. Once you let him know your feelings, he should be able to confront his own feelings and place blame on himself for his actions.

An intolerable situation is him abusing your mother. If he poses no contribution to the household he needs to go. Either he straightens up or he get's out. Abuse should never be tolerated, ever.

Answer 3

People need to work to be able to survive. However beating someone is not acceptable>>whether it is with words or physically....its not right.

Why is your father being asked questions about being late or working. This should be his concern not others>>>unless he isn't coming home. That should be between your parents as well>>children shouldn't have to worry about such things.

I am sorry your mother is ill and is having to go through these things as well as you children. I don't know what she is thinking or even if she is looking for a way out of this .....

The only advice I would have is too be there for your Mom...support her in anyway you can...sometimes a smile can be the healthiest thing around.

Best wishes

Answer 4

I'm sorry to tell you but money is not your problem. Your father is the problem. Your mother spent her life protecting you so it's time for you to return the favor. Do not let him beat her. I understand he's your dad but it doesn't make it ok. I think that the next time it happens, you should call the police. If you're not willing to help her out in that way then you may as well move out and come by regularly to help your mom with different things she may need help with. Good Luck

Answer 5

Money isn't the problem here, it is abuse. Women do not have to put up with it. It seems you both need to get out of this destructive way of life. I am sorry that you are in this situation, but you and your Mother deserve a better life. Stand by her in every way. An abusive man doesn't deserve good women. Good luck and my prayers are with you.

Answer 6

u did tellme how nay family memeber u have..?well.if ur father feel that u guys doesn't care about him..?u need to do is someting emotional.like when he came back from work.u should asked him what he want and also when u go to sleep go to his room and ask him he is ok ?/he need any thing...and after 2 days..tell hemmor if he ask u whats' going on..why are u gusy behaving like this ..?>so tell him.that dad i love u..i feel sacure when u with me....but when u mad at mom...then i really feel hate u..now its up to u what u want me to do.love u or hate u..(and u should understand that people at this age like children..thaey thing nobody care thim..so u should feel him that u really care about him ).and ur a adorable child .ur father should be pround of u..best of luck..take care of ur mom ask her..don't get worry.i am with u.adn listen when evr he beat ur mom .u should stopped him..det some courage..adn best of luck,....ur such a adrobale kid.carry on..and realize ur dead u take care of him..then let me know.what happend...

Answer 7

it sounds like there are more than money problems in your house. Is there a councilor or trusted teacher at school you could talk to?