i ve married for 10 months.my husband is very jealous.he doesnt let me go out without him,and he doesnt let me work.he works all the day.and i m sitting all day at home .and doing nothing.it s so boring.
once a week he takes me out.the other days he s working.
even i cant go hairdresser alone.what should i do.
he loves me.he is very good to me.but very jealous.i m 19 and it s not fair to sit at home all the day
2007-04-18 05:36:20 · 40 answers · asked by fidan b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
most of you tell me to divorce him.but first of all now i m pregnant for 34 weeks .what i will\do alone with baby who is new born?and secondly i cant divorce because the city i live it s normal.there are a lot of women live like me
2007-04-18 21:16:44 · update #1
Was he like this before you marry him? What age is your husband? Older men tends to be over protective, after they have been through relationships in which there partner cheated.
You can try to get a Job that you can do fro home "online-jobs".It is obvious that you are unhappy, you have the choice to divorce him.
2007-04-18 05:48:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar situation but we aren't yet married but we do live together! Just today I went and got a temp job because day to day it is just boring! My fiance is a very jealous person and I don't really know how to deal with it! So last night his dad was over at our house and said to me he didn't know how I have managed to stay home this long! So I ust & Faith!
1. Have my own money. ( I can't be dependent on him for everything and simply don't want to.)
2. I have been out of a job for five months and I now don't have any friends! ( I can't live without friends, really no one can. )
3. If anything was to happen to him what would I do and where would I go. ( really he should think about that also.)
4. If you let him control this certain thing now, it won't last. I can promise you that! ( Think twenty years from now four kids later, no job and no life and nothing to show for your self.)
You will eventually regret not doing anything about it and believe me when I say things will only get worse! Ask yourself if you could start over say twenty years from now! He really needs to trust you enough to understand and have faith in your relationship to let you have your life too!
Good Luck!
2007-04-18 05:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its one thing for him to not want you to go out without him, but he is crazy, and hes treating you like a child thats grounded.
I have a friend who is from Germany and she married a soldier who was stationed there,when she was 18 after only 3 or 4 months because he had to come back to the states. Once they got here, He treated her the exact same way, and she was VERY unhappy. She divorced him, thank god, maybe you should do the same. You may love him, but you're not happy or you wouldnt have posted this question.
Hes WAY too insecure to be in any relationship right now, and that kind of controlling is definitely going to head in an even worse direction.
2007-04-18 05:47:01 · answer #3 · answered by ArmyWife0412 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would guess you can from an abusive home to marry so young and to marry someone who is also abusive.
Please get counseling. Your husband is at work all day and CANNOT stop you from leaving the house when he isn't there. It is time for you to stand up for yourself as you will not stop being a victim until YOU STOP IT.
You know this relationship isn't healthy as, I believe, you would have already defied him had he not threatened some type of physical harm. Is this really how you want to live your whole life? Why don't you love yourself? Get counseling and work on the abuse you suffered while growing up and to learn that you can make changes in your life and that you have the right to be loved and respected.
Good luck.
2007-04-18 05:44:47 · answer #4 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not fair, and you need to tell him this. Seek counselling together if you can. If you don't have any friends or family in the area that can help you out, it can be a scary situation to feel completely helpless.
The fact is, you aren't! If he won't get help for this control issue, you need to get out. If that means getting a job within walking distance of home for a couple hours a day while he is at work to save up some money, do it. This kind of relationship is abusive to you.
2007-04-18 05:49:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does not let you,is that what you said?If he is jealous then you have got yourself into something that you will regreat .You said that he does not let you go anywhere without you.Are you his property or something.People do not let run them just because they are married.If you are letting him run your life like that,soon he will beat on you and then really control you.You need to stop this before it goes any further.Tell him how you feel and you need to do something,go back to school or get a job.You need to get out of the house and that you are tired of doing nothing all day.Tell him how you feel and if he can not understand this then you have a problem.But do not let him rule you like this,a marriage is too people working together to have a better life.So you did not see he was a jealous person before you got married?
2007-04-18 06:03:14 · answer #6 · answered by junior1108 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't love you. Love is not controlling you, being jealous of you, and making you sit home all day. Is that really how you define love? I hope not.
Love is the exact opposite of how he treats you.
He is not very good to you. He controls you. He's jealous of you. He makes you sit home all day. You can't even go to the hairdresser alone.
What ever good things he does for you is just a way of controlling you. He does some nice thing to keep his power over your.
Reconsider this marriage right now. This is not love. This is not normal. This is not good for you.
2007-04-18 05:50:41 · answer #7 · answered by JB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a life too. Demand it. It will make you a better person, and if he loves you then he should support you. PERIOD. You're so young. And so much is out there. EXPLORE!!! Ask him what he's jealous of? Obviously its his problem and he's making it yours. He needs to get over it or you need to move on. Don't make excuses for him. Marriage is a partnership that takes work, not orders.
If this is the first ten months (the so called blissful honeymoon time), what do you think the rest of your life will be like?
2007-04-18 05:53:32 · answer #8 · answered by Merk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesnt not love you if he did he would let you go outside this is an abusive realtionship and you need to get out fast or this realtionship will end badly my friend had the same problem he never let her do anything she had he parents help get out and she did and she got a divorce and now she is a happily married woman to a wonderful man. you need to get out and divorce him you can stil live with parents with the baby the will help and you are young why would you let someone treat you like that if you keeping letting him you will have low self-esteem and no friends or family. Well hey i like being treated that way keep liveing with a totally idoit
2007-04-18 05:45:56 · answer #9 · answered by airplanes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he was apparently like this before you got married... why didn't you LOOK at him and his habits and consider the fact that he is jealous and controlling?
i can't change him... you have to take action and do what is best for you.
get a job, get a car.. maybe your parents can help you in some way?
you are an individual and you deserve to be happy and content. tell your husband how you are feeling and what you want. if he doesn't agree, then you will have to do what is best for yourself.
if you're ever in another relationship, stop, look, listen and observe the person very carefully before you dive into a marriage.
people don't change after they say "I DO"
2007-04-18 05:41:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋