and this is why: To start off with I do not like my hubby drinking because once he starts he has a hard time stopping and we had a bad incident once (won't go there). Well I recently let him buy his beer so he can drink it in the comfort of our home but under the condition that he controls the amount he drinks. As soon as he gets home from work he grabs 'a cold one' and yesterday I gave him 'the look' when he stated that he was going to grab one and he said "ok ok, I was just kidding." Well we sat down to eat lunch and what does this man do?! He trys to sneak a bear in the room..he sat it on the floor on the side of the couch, WE HAVE HARD WOOD FLOORS. I mean come on he was trying to be slick. I didn't say anything, I wanted to see where he was goign with this and if he was indeed trying to hide it. I get up to go take a shower and told him to keep an eye on our daughter...the whole time I am getting ready to get into the shower he is peaking his head over the couch (continued)
2007-04-18 05:35:43 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
(living room is directly infront of bathroom) to see if I am watching him or if I am coming towards him, meanwhile he is drinking his beer. At one point I walked in there and asked what he was doing and he hid the beer between him and the couch cushons just like he did the second time. After I got out of the shower I watched Tv with him and my daughter and he was acting like he was hiding something behind him and I said 'what the hell are you doing, what are you hiding' he pulled out the doritos can he hid earlier from my daughter. I then got pissed and said that he had a drinking problem and that I couldn't believe that he would lie and hide something so small!! I also said 'and you wonder why I don't fully trust you, you lie about little stupid things!' Mean I know...I don't know. He knows how I feel about his drinking. He also lied again later about who was on the phone. I just want to get your opinion. Should I apologize? or am I right in standing my ground on this! Thanks!!
2007-04-18 05:52:16 · update #1
LIKE I SAID, HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM. GETS DRUNK AND SLEEPS AROUND SO THE ONLY WAY TO ELIMINATE PROBLEM IS TO ELIMINATE THE ALCHOHOL. SOME PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID.
2007-04-18 05:55:46 · update #2
Oh and also...I mean if a lot of you are saying I should accept it because he was that way when I married him...Well he married me knowing I am DEAD set against alchohol. I don't drink and I even tried to with him but I see NO POINT IN PICKING UP ONE!
2007-04-18 06:03:26 · update #3
Your husband sounds like an alcoholic. The fact that his behavior gets ugly and the fact that he hides it from you are indications that it's a problem. Bottom line is, you don't really have much control over it. He's going to have to realize that he's putting his family on the line by drinking behind your back.
Check out al-anon. It's a group for people who have family members or friend that are alcoholics. Good luck to you. He's not going to change unless HE is ready for it.
2007-04-18 05:42:32 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
First of all,if he has to hide it from you and lie about it then he has a problem and only he can do something about it.Try calmly sitting down and talking to him,no one likes to be talked down too.One thing you can do is get a camera and video him while he is drunk,just tell him you are making memories.Show him the tape later on and ask him if he remembers the memory.Also tell him he can have a quart of beer and if he goes and get more,then he should realize he has a problem.Just do not try to make him feel bad about drinking,as that will make him want to drink more.If you want to help him work with him and have patience.
2007-04-18 16:52:44 · answer #2 · answered by junior1108 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have every right to be upset. If he gets drunk and cheats on you (how many times has this happened by the way), anyways, he gets drunk and cheats on you then I would also have a problem with the drinking. Its something that causes the problems in your marriage therefore its something that needs to be done away with. And the fact that hes TRYING to hide it from you is something a child would do..for all of you above me that are saying shes treating him like one.
You mentioned he lied about who he was on the phone with...obviously there are MANY trust issues here, and maybe ya'll should seperate..he needs to change ALOT of things.
good luck....I know this is hard for ya
2007-04-18 13:08:51 · answer #3 · answered by ArmyWife0412 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is really a "you" problem, not a "him" one.
He is what he is and you can't change that. If you didn't like his drinking habits then you shouldn't have married him to begin with. You want to blame him, but it's you with the problem. You want him to change, but that isn't going to happen. Therefore you want to complain about it instead, well you gave up that right when you decided to ignore his drinking and marry him anyway. Either get over it or divorce him.
Fact is you would be better off without this loser, but since you don't want to do that maybe you just like to complain.
2007-04-18 12:41:28 · answer #4 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try Alanon.
it's a group designed for people living with alcoholics.
i recommend it... you can also find Alanon and Alcoholics Anonymous on line.. they even have chats.
alcoholism is a disease, and it's not fun to live with.
the mere fact that you "let your husband drink beer in the comfort of his own home" indicates that you have been enabling him to drink... if it's a problem, something needs to be done.
take care of YOU.. no one else will.
2007-04-18 12:44:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
OMG--Megan get a life...so freaking what if your man has a beer...geeze get a life....does he beat you? then get off your high horse and let the man relax with a beer...
dunno how the 2 of you managed to get married in the first place with you being so high and mighty...
sorry to be so opinionated...but you asked the question
2007-04-18 12:40:45 · answer #6 · answered by sunbun 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's a grown man, he should be able to drink some beer after work.
SOME PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID???? if he gets drunk and sleeps around then YOU ARE THE STUPID ONE FOR STAYING WITH HIM.
2007-04-18 12:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
He snuck a BEAR in the room and tried to hide it? Whoa, I'd be pissed too!
2007-04-18 12:39:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
You treat him like your child.If you don't like him drinking then leave.The door opens and closes on both sides.
2007-04-18 12:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by mosrider2002 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OMG that sounds like a man girl, dont worry so much about it lol!!!
2007-04-18 12:41:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋