Did he flip it on me or he really doesn't want to make it work??

Question

My ex & I split up a few mos ago, he's been wanting to get back 2gether the whole time. I kept saying no bcause I didnt want to go back to the same problems from before. We have 3 kids 2gether. Lately I've been feelin like I do want to make things work so I told him this weekend & he said no he luvs me but realizes it's not going to wrk. Well monday nite he came & spent the nite w/ me & the kids, just like back to normal & yesterday he was totally being mean to me and startd saying hurtful things like he's not going to get back w/ me, theres nothing I can do now, it's too late & I was crying & beggin him to give r family another chance, he said no I did it to him for so long & he realized what he needed to. I was so devestated, b4 he hung up he said he'd call me when he got home from his game lastnite & he did, we just talkd like normal & I apologized for earlier, he just said okay and that he would talk to me tomorrow, did he flip this on me cuz I want him now?? or is he really done?

Answer 1

I think the best thing to do is to move forward. Whether he is doing it to hurt your feelings or to get back at you it is not right to play with your emotions. The best bet would be to not ask him back anymore, and don't ever beg, it makes him feel like he has some sort of power over you, and now that you told him you want him back.. more than likely he'll see other people and know that you'll just be there on the back burner if he gets lonely. I'm so sorry he's doing that but sounds to me like you need some time to figure things out, maybe tomorrow morning you'll wake up and be glad that you don't have to put up with it anymore.

Answer 2

Been there, done that...played that game MANY times. Whether HE'S done or not....YOU need to be done. Isn't it funny how we can understand what's best for us, and attempt to move on, then they mentally pull us back in and before we know it, WE'RE begging THEM for another chance? Why the HELL did you apologize? Listen, I know it hurts. You have children with this man too, and that makes it even harder, but unless you want to spend the rest of your life on an emotional roller coaster, you need to LET him go. I really don't think he's "done with you"...but I don't mean that in the most loving way. I think he wants to regain control, and he's trying to "scare" you into submission. Once he has you where he thinks he wants you, or you start acting uninterested again, he'll "change his mind". I say, you've wasted ENOUGH time on this fool. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but there is SOMEBODY out there that will love and respect you and your children, but you're too busy wasting time on this idiot. Move on, sweetheart. Later you'll wonder why you didn't leave him earlier and save yourself a lot of heartache...and you'll feel SICK for falling down at his feet.

Answer 3

sounds like you are both confused. You are right the problems will still be there when he comes back and its hard to work thorugh things. no to people get along all the time though so you have to relaize that. maybe ask him what he wants. have a heart to heart discuss the problems and communicate together and look for solutuions. if he still doesnt want you then move on.

Answer 4

Looks like he only wants things he can't have. When things come to him too easily he doesn't see any value in it (sad to say). When you play hard to get it makes him want you. I've seen this in other relationships, but your ex seems to take this to an extreme. In this type of relationship, you'll have to keep that balance of hard-to-get and pleasure. Though counseling would be advisable... it will be extremely hard to get him to see a councilor, I doubt that he even realizes what he's doing.

Answer 5

Sounds too erratic to me. Why not give yourselves some alone time to get your priorities straight. Thus make a decision as who you both are, and what you both want for yourselves AND your children. Whatever the outcome is, PLEASE stick by it. Flipping back and forth is constant turmoil that NO ONE needs in their life.