I really need someone who can listen to me, who can hear out my pain, my problems and can give me attention that I need.
There was a friend who had been there for me for a very long period but now she is busy with her life, family and studies.
Now as she is not able to spend time with me like before I named her user. Bcoz she calls me only when she is free though she had put her effort to be in touch with me regularly but it was me who had told her to contact me only when she is free bcoz I did not want to be like a burden on her.
I need more of her time, I want to talk to her daily. I am not able to tell her what I want from her. I knw she wont understand till I tell her what I want, I dont want to come across as a needy person and it will be foolish of me to tell her that I want her time and her attention. I dont know how will she react. I feel comfortable only talking to her not with my other my other friends.
Now when I talk to her I feel very happy but sad after finish talking
2007-04-18 04:39:40 · 10 answers · asked by lets_smile07 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Can I ask you an obvious question?
You have some romantic feelings for your friend, yes?
If you do have feelings for her, I can understand why you want to talk to her every day.... but I don't think she feels the same way. If you definitely do not have feelings for her, I think you are expecting too much from your frienship. No friend needs to talk to you every day. The only person I *need* to speak to every day is my boyfriend. That's what makes me think you have feelings for this girl.
It know it can be very hard to let go of friendships. I had a crush on a woman before and we became close friends. She is Polish, and I think I misread her signals. I think because we are from different cultures, her friendliness seemed like more to me. I believe she found out that I was attracted to her, and now she does not bother to talk to me. It was very hard to accept, and I still think about her, but that is the way of life.
Sometimes friendships change, even when there are no romantic feelings involved. People move on and get on with their lives.
I think you need to accept that your friend cannot give you what you want from her. She's giving you everything she can already, and if she wanted to give you more, I think she would. If she felt the desire to speak to you every day, she would do so. It sounds to me like she is not as interested in your friendship as you are, I'm afraid.
I think being friends with her, whether you have feelings for her or not, is not healthy for you. Not only do I think you are becoming a little bit obsessed with her, but I also think it is making you feel bad about yourself. You call yourself needy and clingy, and you even told her she could talk to you whenever she wasn't busy - thereby giving her permission not to bother putting any effort in.
Friends come in and out of our lives for a reason. It may be that you had a good friendship before, but either she is selfish, busy or has moved on. Or she still likes you very much, but you like her even more...
Why don't you send her a casual e-mail or text message asking how she is? You can keep trying to be her friend but don't wait around forever. You have to live your life. If she's really bothered about your friendship she'll make the effort to keep in touch.
Please don't let this upset you so much. I know it can be very hard to let go of a friendship that is special to you, but just try to see her for what she is and start making other friends. She will always be special to you, but I don't think she is good for you.
xx Emmie
2007-04-18 04:54:22 · answer #1 · answered by Sparklepop 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear, can you not find some more friends and you can spread the load about a bit. Remember friendship is a two way thing and no matter how much they care about you there's only so much someone can take of constantly listening to someone else's problems. Make sure you spend time listening as well as talking.
2007-04-18 04:44:18 · answer #2 · answered by flyingconfused 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to appreciate that the fact that she calls you when you is free means that she is still a good friend i mean after all she can hardly call you when she is busy can she, i think that you possibly need to find a hobby to keep you occupied and go out and enjoy your life with your other friends as well we have to be happy for our friends that they are living a full life instead of wanting all their attention, that is just selfish, do you ever think that you migth have a crush on her and haven't discovered your sexuality yet.
2007-04-18 04:53:16 · answer #3 · answered by smitters06 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you may desire to be a socio/psycopath (they're very comparable and that i will no longer be able to undergo in recommendations that's which). you purely don't sense issues a similar way human beings do, for this reason the no crying, even once you realize which you may desire to sense it. What you do sense is oftentimes extra extreme than human beings, for this reason the homicidal recommendations. do no longer subject approximately it, yet while anybody asks why you act extraordinary tell them you're autistic, some human beings do in comparison to understanding that socio/psychopaths are everywhere. wish I helped. be satisfied to message me.
2016-12-29 06:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen friend, you have become totally dependent on your friend for all your emotional needs. You sound like you have a real bond with this friend. People do have to move on with their lives and do get busy at times. I can relate to you but with my husband. He is my true friend and I very much depend on him for all my needs. My family moved away and my only friend is him. He is really busy and when I can't talk to him as much I feel kind of abandoned. Lost. I think we need to gain a little or alot more independence from being so needy. Its kinda hard to say that tho cuz it does get lonely. Get counseling for those troublesome times. It helps when you really need someone to talk to.
2007-04-18 04:55:34 · answer #5 · answered by luv2love 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you are being a little bit unreasonable...you cannot take other people's time for granted, even if it is close friends...
Everyone is entitled to get busy in life, besides she did tell you she would make an effort to stay in touch...and you actually did the right thing by telling her to do it only when she has free time...
Being friends means respecting each other...don't push her away...
2007-04-18 04:52:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Problem is you ARE needy, and seem to be holding on too tight. She can't be the only person you can talk to, that is too much of a burden to place on a friend. She has a life and needs to live it, she is moving forward and needs that space. You can't be calling her every day and unloading your problems on her.
If you want, you can message me to talk. I'm a good listener.
2007-04-18 04:48:40 · answer #7 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you sound like yo have a lot on your mind!!! I go through a lot to and i hope you feel better i dont kno what to tell you bu tif you need to talk to somebody call a family member or a person yo know not her or you could call her and say to her how you feel I understand how you feel and I hope i helped!!!!!
~allison~
2007-04-18 04:54:49 · answer #8 · answered by dark_angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are going to have to give her some space. it's not healthy for you to need anyone like that.
i almost sounds like you are in love with her....you might have to sort out those feelings too...
2007-04-18 04:52:24 · answer #9 · answered by zeke58 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ıf you beleıve ın GOD_____PLEASE JUST PRAY...JUST DO IT.JIST SAY''''MY GOD PLEASE HELP ME.YOU KNOW ME BETTER THAN MYSELF'''
ıf you do ıt sıncerely--beleıve me ıt wıll work
2007-04-18 05:28:23 · answer #10 · answered by nicat h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋