I have been accepted to college and have gotten financial help to pay for the first year. The thing is I am 25

Question

Married wih a 5 yr old. We live in a small community, live paycheck 2 paycheck. I want to go for nursing and in 4 years return to get a decent paying job @ the local nursing home/hospital. My husband said yes to this idea but now that I got the $ to go he's really negative, he says he's being realistic. I know we will be scrimping while I am at school but in 4 years the amount of $ I can bring home will make a huge impact on our family life, actually being able to afford the necessities! My question is how can I get my husband to be a little more positive, I know it will be tough, but we gotta stay positive. Also he seems like he doesn't want to start saving money to move, or think about getting stuff stored away. He has also said how are we going to find a nice house with a garage, I was thinking decent, yet cheaper apartment!! We don't live in a nice house now! HELP how can I get him to be positive and supportive, I think I can get the $ for the next 3 yrs 2 since we are poor!!

Answer 1

He may be feeling a bit threatened by the fact that you have a goal in your life, a goal that may make you a better financial provider in the future than he is or will be.

Many men still feel threatened when the woman in their life contributes more financial stability to a relationship than they do. This is slowly changing, but not quickly enough.

Sometimes we have to make sacrifices in the near future in order to get ahead and be more secure later on. You need to tell him exactly what you have told all of us on YA and work this out.

It is quite obvious that you are thinking of the future for yourself and your family, and he is only being shortsighted at this point.

If he cannot be supportive of your goals, you may need to rethink your relationship with this man. That is sad to say but a marriage can only work as a team experience, you have to be supportive of each other.

You are saying that you want to get ahead and live a bit more comfortably, and you also say that you are poor (monitarily anyway) and he seems as if he is living in a dream world and does not want to change anything that he is doing now.

You keep yourself positive, for yourself and your child. Your husband is going to have to make the choice to support you or not. You may need to go to couples counseling to work through some of these problems.

I wish you the best, and good luck with your new career choice. Nursing is a wonderful career, and good nurses are needed all over the world.

Answer 2

He is probably afraid right now. He may be feeling that he should be doing more instead of you. Sit down with him and ask him to write down all the pros and cons of this situation, you do the same. Each of you write down at least 10 things. Then discuss what you have written. You have received the money to go to school, therefore, it's not impossible. Tell him that if you work together you can make this happen, and that the house and garage will come in time, right now you should get a small apt. and make it as cozy as possible. You are going to be very busy with school, but don't neglect your duties as a wife. Making him feel comfortable and loved. Make him a part of this whole situation. Tell him you trust him and that you appreciate all he's done for your relationship. He may be feeling that he's not doing enough. You don't want to bruise that ego.

Answer 3

When I was about 5, my mother went through the same thing. What she did was sit my father down and showed him how much she would be making when she was a nurse. It really does pay off in the long run. Sometimes you just have to sacriface a little in the beginning. Plus, you will also get free healthcare (at certain hospitals) while being a nurse and that will save you a lot, especially with a 5 year old. Just be sure to let him know how much this opportunity means to you.

Answer 4

Congratulations on getting in and getting aid! Nothing is more valuable than an education in terms of providing you a sense of security. And nursing is a great field - you can ALWAYS find a job.

Your husband is not being realistic. He's being petty and jealous. Check with the school you're planning to attend and they can probably help you with things like day care or housing.

I was broke all through school - scavenging under vending machines, feasting on ramen noodle, wearing the same clothes forever - but now that it's over, I have financial security. Absolutely worth the sacrifice.

Answer 5

Grats on getting accepted! He should support you no matter what. Yes if your going to school and hes working things will be tight. But if he thinks about it in the long run, you guys would be doing really well. Currently me and my husband are trying to figure out how I am going to get the degree that I want. He got a really great job that he just cant quit, so I will start with a simple on-line business degree. Tell him that if something ever happened to him that you would be fine. That's the main reason that I am getting the degree to begin with. I hope your husband does start supporting your dreams and that you guys can get through this together.


Good luck to your future

Answer 6

First off, let me command you on your decision/desires to go back to school for that hi'er education, @ whatever you age you happen to be.

Now, talk to your husband and basically, tell him you've got the $$$ all set-up to do this and it his choice to be support or not. It was your choice(and he supported it, @ the time) to get the paper work in order to attend to school/college. Now, he's backin down on his offer somewhat to support your evers. Which you quite poss. could not have got. If, you(or your hubby) were bring house more $$$.

So I say, tell him this is what is going to happen, for both of our goods. You(He) can either support it or not, the choice is up to him. But, you continue to work @ gettin that degree.

Granted, $$$ well be tight for the next 4yrs. But, in the long run it will pay the divides.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Sounds like he has wanted to support you in the past, but now that your dream is coming to fruition, he is afraid of the upheaval your 'schooling' will cause. Logically, if you are struggling now, why not struggle towards a better future (your nursing career). I wonder if he feels left out or inadequate by your desire? What kind of job does he have? Does he have a career or dream? How can you include him as much as possible? I'd sit him down and simply be honest...tell him that you need him to help you do this.

Answer 8

Congratulations on being accepted to college. Your husband needs to wake up and realize what a huge step you are taking and how it will benefit both the family and you. As you are already living "paycheck 2 paycheck", I can understand his concern about the financial aspect but both of you need to work together to make this happen. I hope you have told him your thoughts, hopes, and concerns just as you've told us. I hope all goes well and don't give up your dream - you can make it happen.

Answer 9

Well, sarcastically it would be cheaper to keep you then to push the issue.
If you have financial aid you should be able to cut corners and see where you can make things easier on him.

Also do you qualify for work study? that is 20 hours a week and is better than nothing coming in. check into it. You do not have to pay it back and it will help you with family spending money

Hope this helps

Answer 10

usually if you're going into nursing you can get money for school because there's always a shortage of nurses! just sit him down and tell him that you're doing this for you future and for you guys to have a better life. maybe he's jealous that you've been given this opportunity and he's afraid you'll make more money (which is totally old fashioned) or you won't be as happy when you're in school and have a busy career! just talk to him.