I am in an utter depression, just so sad as my girlfriend/ex got married 2 months ago. We were together 4 years and she moved back to her country (ecuador) in late 2005, so we were long distance the last year. I heard in Jan that she was engaged and she got married in Feb to some guy she had been "dating" for 4 months. I went there tried to convince her to change her mind and marry me, but at that point she wouldn't, just said she already had too many plans made. I think she just got obsessed with geting married, didnt think I would do it. Since her marriage, she has emailed my mom many times, telling her that she cries for me all the time bcs. she knows I am suffering/sad. She says she is trying to make her marriage work, but that she always cries for me and is sad bcs she thinks about me and it makes her upset. She called me after her wedding crying, and then again called me yesterday. Why is she doing this? I love her, but why? Is she upset for me or upset for her decision?
2007-04-18 04:23:24 · 12 answers · asked by robert7 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it's too late she is married she made her choice and decided to leave you...get over her and the first step is to tell her not to call you anymore
2007-04-18 04:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may feel quite bluntly upset for her own decisions. And also she may painfully feel that there is a debt on her side that is not amortized yet. Therefore she is doing what she is doing, therefore she keeps emailing and calling.
It is indeed good of you to love her, but you should see more objectively on her and on her behavior towards you, towards life, towards her new partner. You shouldn't be in depression about this. You should eat good food and so meet more frequently good friends old and new.
All the good you had with her should by now be warmly jealously kept in the domain of good memories, and the unhappy end that ended out your being with her should by now be treated as life-experience to help you style out a new paradigm for your own future.
You might treat those contacts from her to you with proud and loving silence, also because silence sooner or later will fall on your connection and so your emotional bond will vanish. Or you might write a mail to her telling her that you do not wish to be suffering or sad, that she should not worry about that, and that her life must go on, and that it would be a good step for her to eat good food, to contrive a strategy for a good marriage, to love more the one near her, to see new relatives and friends, and so also that she might try to think as if she by now was a loving and distant sister to you. You might also add that as far as you know you both live only once and that there are other persons in this World that may need more of your attention, of your care, of your dedication.
Good luck!
2007-04-18 05:39:50 · answer #2 · answered by pasquale garonfolo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i have a ex bf who keeps contacting me since about 4 yrs now, he left the country and with a girl that he now will get married to, he told me the girl he'll get married to isnt as fun as i am or good in bed etc etc but she suports all crap he ever done, lets him do what he wants and for this reason
he wants to marry her, but still wana come and see me here and never ever forgets about me. This situration has confused me for years til i finaly met my bf and then understood that if you really love someone problems like those doesnt exist. Good luck anyway:)
2007-04-18 04:48:47 · answer #3 · answered by troll_gumma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with one of the replies here....in the very first place she loves you..you said something like she never realized that you did have plans to marry her...maybe their came a point in time that she waited and waited for you to propose but then you never did and perhaps when she went back to ecuador out of the wanting to get married she married a guy who proposed to her, which is the very thing she might have wanted you to do...to ask her hand in marriage....
yes you went there but you were too late and yes many preparations were already done...
for me...she did go with the marriage even though she still loves you to make you realize that that was what she wanted and to make you realize that because you dint ask her hand for marriage ....maybe she thought you never will
DEEP IN MY HEART i know she loves and if ever she got married for me it a deed to let you see what you have lost but still she was wrong with her decision because she married not the person she loves and thats the reason why she is calling.......
if i were you..talk to her...and if you are willing to accept her back then win her back
im very sure she is just waiting for you.....she married not because she does not love you but instead she married because she loves you and wants you to realize that you have lost her...but then she wasnt able to stand firm with her decision thats why she is communicating with you....
believe she loves you and if you love her and willing to accept her..win her back.....we only live once...dont let go of the chance to grow old with the person you love
2007-04-18 04:56:29 · answer #4 · answered by c g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to forget her and move on. She made her choice and that is it. Why are you putting yourself through this? You did everything that you could have before and she chose him. Now she has to live with this and you deserve better. Dont take anymore of her calls and tell your mom to do the same. You need to move on and find someone that wants you and will choose to be with you.
2007-04-18 04:30:40 · answer #5 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not the kind of woman you want. She knew exactly what she was doing when she got married, and now she's still trying to manipulate you. I think you need to write to her and tell her you are happily married yourself and to buzz off and if she doesn't, you'll take legal action. She is toxic and needs to be out of your life. Imagine her poor husband! He thinks she loves him and she's still manipulating you. She's not a good person at all.
2007-04-18 04:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by Kyle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Again this week I say get on with your life and forget her. Tell her she made her choice now concentrate on her marriage and leave you alone. As for you, you need to stop obsessing and writing about this week after week. Go out and start dating again.
2007-04-18 04:37:48 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she realizes that she made a mistake and is (subtley) looking to see if you are still interested in her in case she changes her mind and wants to come back to you. DO NOT GET INVOLVED!!! SHE IS MARRIED!!! The only thing that you will gain in this is more pain. Talk to your mom and ask her not to talk about your personal life and try not to talk to her.
2007-04-18 04:30:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
even with time you spent with one yet another is one of those funding. both one in each of you invested on your courting. in certain circumstances after we split with one yet another we both tell ourselves that "what a waste" or perhaps with the actuality it truly is difficult yet attempt to ignore it. yet in certain circumstances we do not ignore that something truly alluring is spoiled formerly it truly got here about. Then we be apologetic about. He actual is regretting and thats the reason he keep calling and emailing.
2016-12-04 06:13:54 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both.she knows she has made a mistake.
she knows you guys were meant to be.plus its not fair on the other guy,marrying him when she knows she loves you.thats nuts!!
anyway you dont have to worry much,you love her,yes,you did what you had to do,you went all the way to change her mind,i mean,thats the stuff you see in them movies.
youre the dude,dude.!
move on to better things,find new hobbies and distractions.youll be fine.
she? well she made her bed.....
2007-04-18 04:31:21 · answer #10 · answered by 9k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋