My husband cheated on me 3 times ( he admitted to). If that wasnt bad. With 3 diff people. Wow, that sounds horrible. My thing is that he has been faithful now for over 1 yr and is trying the best he can to make our marriage work. The cheated happened about 2 yrs ago or more. I have just recently come to find out. We are still young. In our early 20s. We have 2 children. A 3 and a 4 year old. I would like to forgive him, like everyone always does, but I kno im not that dumb. I know what i should do. It just helps when other people let me kno what they think. Another big part is that HE IS a sex addict. Which that can be part of the problem. We are still young and I believe in giving another chance. Am I just making excuses??? I am soo confused right now that I dont even kno what i feel towards him anymore. BTW, we have been 2gether 6 yrs and I will be finishing up Nursing School in 3 months.
2007-04-18 01:53:10 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for all the help
BTW, THIS IS MY FIRST TIME FORGIVING (IF I DO)!! I JUST FOUND OUT THAT HE EVEN CHEATED ON ME!!! HE ADMITTED TO ME THAT HE DID AND IT WAS 3 TIMES. SO I HAVE NOT FORGAVE HIM once before.
He used to work at a club. Which i made him quit. He had sex w/ 3 diff woman. How can woman be sooo easy??? Meeting someone and then going off to have sex w/ him, but thats another question. NO, im not turning the blame.
2007-04-18 03:29:32 · update #1
First of all I do am sorry for what you've been going through. I do have some idea of how you feel, you don't know if you can forgive him,but you must realize that there's no more trust between the two of you. Being sex addict can't justify the affairs that he did. I know your trying to give him the benefit of a doubt but your heart is telling you something. i think your a strong woman just the way you talk and your coming career as a nurse. It doesn't matter if the affairs happened 2 years ago,still if his sorry for what he done, he could have told you early in life but he didn't. And now that you both have two kids, do you think he will not betrayed you again in the future?? Yes you are together for 6 years but the question is can you trust him, one day you might forgive him but the trust and respect is not there anymore.
Do think about you and the kids this time, and ask yourself if you really deserve the betrayal that he did to you. You need to raise the kids in a good environment,without heavy drama. Follow your heart this time and I think you already know what to do,..........hang in there because one day you will find someone that is worthy of you and your love.
Let me just say that mine is still fresh (4 months ago) and I was married to him for 22 years and my kids are all teenagers now when he dicided to commit adultery with a married woman. Our problem was he never been there for me, never showed me affection and passion, and no problem with sex either,and last year i finally asked him why? and the answer he gave me was the affair with a married woman. Since December he wants to come back and beg for another chance,but I can't give it to him anymore because he ruined my kids life this time.............so just be aware to where your going to............I made it without him this year and I know that you will also.
2007-04-18 05:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but unfortunately once a cheat, always a cheat. If he knows that he got away with it, he will do it again. It's not a healthy relationship anymore cause there is no trust and you'll be wondering where he is, who he's with, who he calls etc.... I feel for you, I was also cheated on but I don't give second chances since I am too good of a person to have someone do that to me. I also don't have children so I wish you luck and whatever you do, remember to stay strong and as far as the sex addict goes, I personnally don't buy that bull............control it!!!!
2007-04-18 01:59:03 · answer #2 · answered by Unknown, CA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know that he is a sex addict and you know that you love him. You have several choices in the matter:
You can leave him, throw everything away that you have. Hey he cheated on you, you reap what you sow.
You can stand by him and make him seek counseling. You can help his through his addiction by doing your best to cut it out of him.
Or, you can talk to him about his addiction and ask him what you can do to help without counseling. You know like dress up, got a baby sitter and check in a motel. Add some passion and kinky sex in the mix. Do sexual things that you are both comfortable with and make him realize that he doesn't have to go outside the marriage to get what he was looking for.
Its up to you what you want to do. Just make sure that you are comfortable with what ever decision you make. Keep in mind that whatever your decision, you have to go through with it all the way. No half-stepping. Don't stay in it for the kids, or leave it for the kids. You have to want this for you.
2007-04-18 02:19:35 · answer #3 · answered by cinnatigg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Early 20`s, two kids and together 6 yrs and 3 affairs????? I think I would do some sole searching if I were you. I don`t think you`ll be able to forgive him even if you want to. The odds are not in your favor, girl. He more than likely will do it again. After nursing school is completed, I would make some very wise decisions for you and your children. I personally don`t think he`s worthy of you, and you deserve better than that!!
2007-04-18 02:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by MISTY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur husband cheated on u 3 times yet u still want to be with him? havent u learnt anything from him? he maybe faithful for over a year but how can u be sure? he lied to u in the past and he will certainly do it again in the future. once ur loved one cheats thats it! you shouldn't be with him anymore even if u have children! the fact that u posted this question just shows that u dont trust him as u wouldn't be asking for advice! if there are doubts in ur mind what do u think its telling u?
2007-04-18 01:59:17 · answer #5 · answered by MissyRC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and him need some kind of parenting classes and some marriage counseling (I am not saying that your a bad parent, It's just that parenting classes will teach you how to treat each other, for an example for your children)
Just because someone cheats doesn't make them a bad person, It's their attitude about and whether they truly are sorry.
2007-04-18 02:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by chersa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows that after he cheats you stay with him so of course he will do it again. Once shame on him twice shame on you well in your case three times shame on you you know better or else you would not have posted this question.
2007-04-18 02:25:40 · answer #7 · answered by DMY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are going for it its up to you .All the sayings such as a leopard never changes his spots ,forget them .
Think of things such as he has to give 110% and you make the rules if he dosent play the game your way show him the high way.
2007-04-18 02:24:35 · answer #8 · answered by superglue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he's going to cheat on you again. bank on that. The only question is if you want to stay with him and endure more of it.
2007-04-18 01:58:04 · answer #9 · answered by John L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater....i don't believe in forgiving cheaters---not even once
----forgiving him once communicated to him that it's ok to cheat on you
2007-04-18 03:03:10 · answer #10 · answered by Ghanaian Princess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋