i would just like to say that i have been single for a while now and whenever i go out on a date, my date always seems really offended that i like to pay my own way, order my own taxi etc. i like to be treated nicely but not like i have no brain cells. lol. can anyone tell me why this is please.
ps. this is a lighthearted question so please dont get offended ppl.
hugs to u all.
2007-04-17 23:26:26 · 31 answers · asked by cheekkkychik 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
first of all lets say this.. you havent done anything wrong, its just the way you are :)
i think alot of guys like to do more for their gf e.g call the taxi, pay for you. its sorta a traditional thing of the guy being nice to the woman and the man feeling like he is a 'man'.
Now i know some men are turned off by a woman who knows how to do her own thing, personally i would like a gf who is independant and like this..
i think it comes down to the man thinking he isnt good enough for her or that the guys have to do everything so they have more power in a relationship and feel better than their wife, its hard to explain lol.
as for the offended bit.. some guys may feel offended or feel that you dont like him if you wont let him pay for u, strange huh?
2007-04-18 13:36:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless it's agreed upon before the date starts, most males who have be brought up to respect a woman would assume they are paying etc. It is can me emasculating for a woman to just do these things without prior discussion. This does not mean we as males think you have no brain cells, it is; or at least should be, as sign of respect. This is especially true on a fist date. After you've been with someone for a few times, then it can be less of an issue. You don't have to be so assertive to not be a bubble head. A man can appreciate your qualities and still pay, and call a taxi for you.
2007-04-17 23:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by Carl J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you pay your own way, and all of that, you are independant.
Someone like that is not looking for a relationship.
It's not that you don't have any brain celles. A woman can be smart and gracious, also. Forcing your own way is confrontational. Especially maybe in the way you deliver it.
Confront your own anxiety about intimacy first. you might be afraid of it. Seems like it. Since 75% of women surveyed take the dinner the cab ride etc, and then go home, and not all of them are "lured" or whatever you want to call it into sex.
There are some nice guys out there. good luck.
2007-04-17 23:32:08 · answer #3 · answered by A Military Veteran 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In a non-offended way ... are you dating Red-Necks or Real Men with a brain ?
Not a chance of me being put off by an indepandant woman. It takes a woman with a brain to engage my interest.
2007-04-17 23:31:30 · answer #4 · answered by brianthesnailuk2002 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a tricky one that! A lot of guys are just really chilvarous and like to resort to how their fathers were in paying for stuff and making sure we're ok!
Being perfectly honest - I think its lovely when guys try and spoil us - but in a society where us women are now "equal" to men I think we are obliged to offer to pay and look after ourselves so to speak.
I think the best balance is to always offer to pay half - if hes insistent that he doesnt want you to - then thank him and dont cause a scene but make sure you treat him at a future time.
xx
2007-04-17 23:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because you are treated nice, does not mean they think that you have no brain cells. You are taking independence way too far. It always feels nice to know someone needs you for something. You are scaring them away by acting as if you need no one in your life. Allow them to do nice things for you, it makes them feel good. In return you do nice things for them, and it will even itself out.
2007-04-17 23:32:23 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most guys are caretakers by nature. If you want to continue to date respectable men, cool it with the Independence! (at least during the time your actually on the date) Only loosers with no money will concede joyfully, and let the female pay.
2007-04-17 23:31:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who says they are? It's a generalisation.
I, for example, wish I ever found an independent woman. I am sick and tired of these "little, innocent, simple minded" birds who are seeking a sugar daddy to sort out their lives (and their bills).
I'd probably be so fascinated by an independent woman I'd probably fell in love with one right away.
2007-04-17 23:31:08 · answer #8 · answered by Eugene 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol
Men like to in charge *most of time* they like to think they wear the trousers... in most mens eyes woman are helpless and need lookin after.. we are apparently useless .. some men have lightened up to the idea we are independant ladies..
i know you say u like to pay your own way and book your own taxi.. but maybe once in a while let yourself be spoilt and treated.. dont always try to be so independant on a date.. its nice for us ladies to be pampered :)
goodluck :)
2007-04-17 23:32:05 · answer #9 · answered by lovelyinpink_uk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i love being an independent woman... i live with my partner for 3 yrs now and i pay half for everything!!! i work full-time and i just love the feeling of having my own money and no one can question me what i do with it. i would like to get married in the near future and have a couple of kiddies so i won't be able to work then while they're growing up.... BUT for now i'm enjoying my independence and spending my money on things i like with no questions asked.....
2007-04-17 23:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋