I fell out with my close female friend-we didn't speak for 4 months-we got too close for comfort, I fell for her,she didn't feel the same.To deal with this,I broke contact-(not the best idea-I know!)
2 months ago we met for the 1st time since I broke contact,there was terrible tension bwt us-she didn't want to talk to me,snapped at me a few times!.I apologised for hurting her(when i broke contact)she snapped bck 'You never hurt me,ok!' -1. DID I HURT HER?
I iniated contact by asking if i can add her as a friend on Facebook,she said yes.I asked if we're still friends,she said YES,but replied bluntly+rudely! 2. WHY??
Contact has increased just THIS WEEK via Facebook(SHE INITIATED IT) It's like it used to be! 3. Why the sudden increase in contact?
I invited her to a roadtrip and she will join us!
I'm surprised we're in contact as she said "the friendship is OVER!" 4.Why she say that?
5. Is she just being nice to me? 6. Will she be nervous seeing me again?
2007-04-17 23:21:08 · 21 answers · asked by Machine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's always awkward when two people are friends and one is seriously interested in a love relationship and the other person only wants a casual friendship.
I suspect she liked you as a friend, but felt really awkward with your stronger feelings. The tension on meeting her probably came from that awkwardness of prior times.
Your breaking contact was good, in spite of your doubts and belief to the contrary. You may not have hurt her by breaking off; you may have relieved concerns that were building up in her as well as a growing discomfort with you and the friendship.
She was blunt when she said yes to your request to be friends on Facebook, probably because she's concerned you'll go back to trying to have her fall for you and feel more than just the simple friendship she had felt. She may well be concerned you'll try to pressure her or be closer than she's interested.
She's giving you a second chance. I think your inviting her on a roadtrip was a bad choice. Make sure you do NOT pressure her to be romantically involved with you. If you still feel like you're in love with her, don't push her to feel or act the same. If you can't control her feelings and accept her only considering you as friend, then you should tell her your problem and allow her to go.
Finally, yes, I believe she'll be nervous seeing you again. The relationship was becoming very uncomfortable for her, but because she did like you as a friend, she'll willing to give you a second chance.
2007-04-18 00:57:14 · answer #1 · answered by Nedra E 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though she may not have felt the same way about you as you did about her, she was still probably hurt when you just stopped contacting her because the two of you had obviously been very close. She is denying it because she doesn't want to make you feel guilty and doesn't want you to see how hurt she really was. That is part of why she snapped at you - because she was hurt.
She probably replied rudely to your questioning your friendship because she is the one who never wanted to end it in the first place. On the other hand, she may just have been having a bad day and didn't intend to answer you rudely.
Shes increasing contact with you because she wants to get back to where you were before you ended the friendship. As I said, it seems like the two of you were very close and she wants to be close to you again - she wants that friendship back because friendships like those are so hard to find and can't just be forgotten. She is making an effort to get your friendship back because she wants the two of you to be close again.
When did she say that the friendship was over? Because if it was a long time ago, then things have probably changed by now. She most likely missed having you as a friend and as someone to talk to. Don't think about the past and the fights that you had then, but just be happy that you get along better now and that the friendship is restarting.
She isn't just being nice to you because she wants something from you or so that she doesn't hurt your feelings. It seems to me like she really wants to carry on being friends with you, and it also seems to me that you want the same thing. It will be very uncomfortable for her to see you again after so long, but as long as the two of you can still talk about things, then everything will be fine. Make sure to let her know that the past is in the past and you want to start a new friendship without all the problems that the old one had. You want to start over and you want her to be able to trust you again.
2007-04-17 23:32:41 · answer #2 · answered by laislinns 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Us women are funny creatures! you may find that you had hurt her by breaking contact. did u ignore her or did u tell her you were going to break contact? if it was mutual then u may find that she was a bit miffed and is trying to forget about the fact that you didnt want contact, but if u ignored her, you may find that she was being snappy because she feels like the apology doesnt cover the emotion that could have been involved with her best freind ignoreing her, (which you can imagine is a bit mean!)
if she said the friendship is over, then that does mean that u hurt her feelings. she may have felt that you were only her friend because you wanted more, when u were suppiosed to be the one person she could rely on! and when she knocked you back, that you confirmed that (even if that is not the case) by breaking contact.
thng is, dont concentrate on the 'why is she being so nice' and concentrate on the fact that she is making the effort! just enjoy your rekindling friendship and just be happy! you never know that you may become best buds again. just be thankful that she hasnt ignored your attempts too! hope this helps. look after her this time as a friend, and if she wants thing sto go further, then maybe think about it!
take care and have fun on your road trip together!
:) x
2007-04-17 23:39:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...im not an expert BUT..
1) i think she feels hurt as u took the friendship a step further then just cut contact coz she didnt feel same.. so mixing her all u and then just not speaking again kinda screwed her up
i think seeing you again brought back all the hurt and confusion between you 2 when u broke contact with her and she didnt really know what she wanted she was probably confused as everything happened all at once.. she probably never even thought as u more then a friend.
2) i think to give her time to adjust with being friends again
3) maybe since you met she has had proper time to think about where the friendship could go and maybe she might be interested in seeing what its like? *hense the roadtrip*
4) i dont know maybe she got scared and first thing she did was run *friend ship is over* :)
goodluck tho :)
2007-04-17 23:29:13 · answer #4 · answered by lovelyinpink_uk 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-22 12:10:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grrrr... I have read your profile and you were asking
questions about this girl SIX months ago.
She is playing you.
I think she likes the fact that you find her so attractive.
I am a woman but if I were in your shoes I would forget
her and go and find another gf. This would probably
make her realise you are not going to be the lapdog
just waiting and waiting for her. Let it go....
The next question I would love to hear from you is..
'I used to have this female friend and she never wanted
me before, but now I have someone else that I am madly
in love with - she wants me'.
If you were meant to be together it would have happened
a long time ago. Good Luck darl....
2007-04-17 23:33:05 · answer #6 · answered by Minxy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did hurt her, I had a guy friend that did that to me and I still don't talk to him. You sent her the message that your friendship wasn't enough. She was rude to you because she was mad at you and herself for letting the stupid fight go on that long. And to let you know she was still upset. She is contacting you more so that she can get back the great friendship she had before. I think you both realized how important the other is to your daily lives and she is being nice so both of you can be happy. Have fun on your road trip
2007-04-17 23:51:35 · answer #7 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. yes i guess u hurt her well i guess she replied that way coz she is still hurt but she misses u and wants to pose a bit to show haw she feels.
3. maybe she just misses u a lot that is very normally and she wants things to go back to how they used to be.And the road trip i think is a very good idea and i think u couldn't have tought of anything better.and u should always know that ppls have diffrent personality, some ppl react like that when they are actually missing the other.No just keep everyhting normal like nothing happened try to find out what has been happening in the time u have not been toghther and don't bring up what happened
2007-04-18 00:19:57 · answer #8 · answered by shiva 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
falling for a friend is never easy. me and my mate (M) fell for each other and ended up in bed. which was only a mistake as he was already seeing someone - if he hadn't been I think it would of worked. BUT we didn't talk for a while - not properly anyway - then we decided that we were adults and mature and decided to go out for a drink - big mistake - drink and lust between friends should be avoided. Then we kept in touch and just decided to keep it between ourselves and no one need get hurt then.
then I was out with a mate one night and we bumped into him and his mate - my mate not knowing anything had gone and invited the two blokes back to her flat, tJ (M's mate) passed out and my mate went to bed, which then left me and M chatting all night - literally - he tried it on but this time I stopped it, I didn't want to hurt his girlfriend anymore than we potentially had (she never found out). But I knew what we were doing was wrong. so we talked all night and I asked him to decide between her and me. he said he needed time to think - last thing I heard was that they had got engaged.
never spoken to him again - never even seen him again. totally broke my heart.!
so my advice is to get the friendship back on track if you can - and put your feelings to the back of your mind in a little locked away box. and leave it there.
I miss having M around in my life - its a shame it turned out the way it did. I felt like if I hadn't forced the issue we might still be friends.
2007-04-18 01:48:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you hurt her feelings it will take time she wants to be around you she just doesn't know if she can trust you. it will take time to build that kind of trust up again. just next time don't wig out and run like you did that time. i know that you need time to clear your head and your heart so that you and her could be just friends but to tell you the truth that never works. i bet when you saw her your heart still skiped a beat like before and everything u thought u were over came right back. so running doesn't work to be a real friend you just have to have sticking power even if it means watching the love of your life oneday marry someone else because you do know that it sometimes comes down to that. good luck
2007-04-17 23:29:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋