After much back-and-forth, my ex and I are trying to rebuild something. the misunderstanding is fixed, but the relationship itself is a shambles. I also am finding I feel really numb, even though in my heart I still love him. Better to tell him, in a positive light, or let the communication run its course and tell him eventually, or at an appropriate moment? I want this to work, but I am not sure if it can unless I am honest, but do not want to scare him from working on it too much at first.
2007-04-17 22:27:03 · 11 answers · asked by Christina V 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should tell him how you feel. You don't have to tell him you think it should end, but if you don't say anything, it will end. Be honest about your feelings, as honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship. There are things you could work on to gain the spark back in your relationship. But only if you bring your feelings out in the open first.
2007-04-17 22:34:37 · answer #1 · answered by Curiousmom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of points you may want to ponder over.
Is it possible that this relationship got into the muddle it did because of lack of communication? You seem to be big on anticipating his reactions. We all think we know what people will do in a given situation - but that is taking away from them.
Secondly, you say in your heart you still love him.
Hearts are funny old things! Thats why the good old logical brain that suffers very little from emotion in affairs of the heart keeps us steady!
To love him from your heart would be wonderful if there were no other issues - but even from the distance it appears that you are frantically bailing out water from a rapidily sinking boat.
Would you really not be better off putting all this effort into remaining friends (if possible) but finding a relationship where everything is not such hard work?
I think that you know in your heart where this is going - and you know that it is going to be painful, one way or another.
But do you know - putting it off really is only drawing out the agony.
Be a real grown up and sit down together and tell each other that you have both tried, you both know that it could have been good but it just really was never meant to be.
Whatever you decide I wish you all the happiness in the world.
You have a kind heart and obviously would rather bear all the pain than dispense it - let it go.
One life - live it!
2007-04-17 22:41:04 · answer #2 · answered by isobellistowel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is ever going to work, then it will survive your being honest.
Bottling it up "for later" could just be the spark that blows the whole thing out of the water again, after many weeks, monthss or years of spending time and energy on tring to make things work out.
Save yourself a whole lot of heartache and get it said now.
2007-04-17 22:31:20 · answer #3 · answered by solver 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
after a storm , the ravages are apparent, many do not want to come bac and fix things, becoz of the memory of suffering...some come bac, and with help from every pertinent source rebuild their lost lives, and how do they do that?
its with new ideas to make things stand...with helping hands of pals and family...
u r going thru a similar situation...dont try to use old things alone to make things work...try new things together, new memories to get over the past really helps to remove the pain....
speak blessing everyday-say u'll make it, do things to fight the troubles that threaten to come ur way, and in time this will work, for sure!
2007-04-17 22:36:14 · answer #4 · answered by El-rene 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should take some time to reflect on yourself and find out what exactly it is that you want...after you KNOW what you want then be honest with him. ...if your main concern is scareing him then maybe see what he wants first and talk about what you want from building off what he wants...if that doesnt work then its better the relationship ended now anyway, wanting a relationship to work out at any cost gives away all of your power.
2007-04-17 22:32:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have already decided that it was over. There are two options--go to counseling with him, or leave him. It depends on how many years you have invested in the relationship.
2007-04-17 22:38:13 · answer #6 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should just say what needs to be said now and he will prob have something to say back, i think if you leave it then you will never say it and things will get worse-if you get everything out in the open now you can both really decide whether things can be fixed or you should just move on.
2007-04-17 22:45:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any decent relationship should be built on honesty and communication, and it will work if you stick to those basics, if you end up compromising how you feel or repressing it then, you'll get frustrated and your relationship doesn't need any extra pressure does it? :)
2007-04-17 22:36:23 · answer #8 · answered by CLAIRE P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The campany should take shares from Robert.
2007-04-17 22:30:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
when u have already concluded then why waste time. when did beating about the bush help.
2007-04-17 22:37:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋