Here's the deal. My "best friend" of ten years married my ex. And didn't even so much as tell me, nor hint at a marriage. She even hid the fact that they started dating from me for three days, until I "provoked" her. I'm hurt, not because she's married to him but because she didn't even have the decency to tell me. A friendship of ten years should mean something. I would tell her.. she said it was "too weird" but I really just don't care. I'm not weirded out. I'm sad, and I feel betrayed.. so my question is, how would YOU feel? I found out yesterday, they got married the 6th of this month.
2007-04-17 19:12:40 · 12 answers · asked by 니콜 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You have a right to feel hurt, but she really may have been worried things would be weird between you after her dating/marriage. Maybe she feels guilty for falling in love with your ex. Decide if you want to move past this and continue to cherish your friendship or if you want this to be the thing that made your best friend, your ex-friend. If you want to move past it, do and you can get them a card and wish them the best. It might be awkward for a while, but if you can move beyond thinking of him as your ex and start thinking of him as your best friend's new husband, you can make it. :)
2007-04-17 19:18:42 · answer #1 · answered by DJ 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a right to feel hurt by your friends behaviour in not telling you about the dating after it had gone on a while. If she had been dating for only three days before you "provoked" her into telling then that does not seem unreasonable. Sounds like you have a little communications problem general with your best friend.
2007-04-17 19:54:28 · answer #2 · answered by Rob W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, a similar thing happened to me, my friend was having an affair with my husband behind my back, when I caught them red handed (in bed together) I was relieved that she would take him off my hands. They married a month after my divorce came through, and now they both have to live with each other and I am sure in the back of their minds they have that insecurity as to whether the other will cheat on them, the fact that they will never have true peace in their relationship comforts me a lot, I like thinking they are miserable while I've never been happier.
2007-04-17 20:15:51 · answer #3 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be beyond P.O.ed.... You have EVERY right to be upset and feel betrayed! She could have decided to not date him, but she did...she could have not married him, but she did....so she made 2 big decisions and honestly, you should have been consulted! I know the whole bit of everyone has a different relationship with each person, but I can't imagine dating a friend's ex....there is a reason you two broke up and a friend wouldn't want to be with your used laundry. But hey, seems she's no better than he is lying to you and all so maybe they were meant to be....
Sorry, but that really gets me! If my BFF married my current FI (If we break up, heaven forbid)...talking would be the LAST thing on my mind! lol
2007-04-17 19:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by Nicole 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you are a true friend you would feel happy on this and not upset because she did not spoil your marriage and the person whom your friend married is just your ex and not your present spouse. and the reasons for your friend hiding this matter might be because of various reasons and not one reason which you think
2007-04-17 19:23:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who broke up with who in the relationship? If it were you that did then why would you let it bother you? You should be happy for your friend, but I can understand you feeling hurt. How did you not even know they were dating each other? If she really was your friend she should have told you.
2007-04-17 19:29:07 · answer #6 · answered by HighDesertMom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly would not feel good about it. That is why I do not like laughing ladies around my man calling their self my friend. Back doorer should be slap with respect and dignity to awaken them to reality. "what she done to you, will come back to her and she will hurt worse than you." Forgive forget and love in heart in spite of it all cause you are on your way to something much better and prosperous.
2007-04-17 20:37:06 · answer #7 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see your point AND hers... -But I agree with YOU. Best friends are supposed to SHARE things like who they're in love with... Maybe she wasn't as good a friend as you THOUGHT she was. Maybe she had more in common with your EX- than you thought she did. Try to "get over" them BOTH- & move on. It could be the BEST thing that ever happend to you... :) Good luck.
2007-04-17 19:26:50 · answer #8 · answered by Joseph, II 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would warn your friend! You know why you are Exes! If you are friends you won't let her make the same mistake! If she won't take your advise, then sit back and wait for the day when you can say, "See, I told you so!!"
2007-04-17 21:20:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope... But I think my ex's wife would be outraged...
If my ex was single and my best friend and he found love together I would wish them both well..
He is my ex meaning I have no claim to him anymore... What he and my best friend do with their lives is their business...
2007-04-17 19:59:42 · answer #10 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋