My husband and I are best friends. We are never bored when we are together, we laugh, keep eachother entertained. When we fight we always make up with sex. If I'm in a bad mood, we have sex. I think sex for us can really help out with our marriage. Is using sex to work out small arguments or disagreements normal?
2007-04-17 18:06:06 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We usually are not arguing by the time the sex happens. We have sex after we've worked out the disagreement.
2007-04-18 18:22:24 · update #1
Anything that helps compromising in a relationship is good. It sounds to me like you both use it as a healthy release. If the relationship was based solely on sex, that would be bad. But you have already admitted it is a great relationship, with some normal conflicts. I think it is great that you use sex as a relaxation method, and it obviously puts you both into a better mood and more willing to work out the little issues.
2007-04-17 18:12:53 · answer #1 · answered by susan w 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having sex after the argument is settled is normal for some, but if you are having sex instead of solving the argument, then no, it is not normal or healthy. If you have sex to avoid the fight, the problem is still there and will come back, sooner or later it will all come out in a major fight and could end up ruining the relationship. If you stick to the idea of never going to bed mad and make sure all arguments/disagreements are resolved before going to bed, then you will be fine.
2007-04-17 18:09:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why not? If this really works for you then I say go for it. We all treat things differently, that's why all marriages are unique. I must say that I like your thinking, and if my wife used your method of resolving arguments then I might just have to argue with her a little more LOL. That's one to consider, does your husband use arguments as a way of getting sex from you, because he knows he will get some if there is an argument?
2007-04-17 20:08:55 · answer #3 · answered by jtgot1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Mom always told me.. "never go to bed angry".. however If you had an issue and had sex and then the issue is no longer there, then what was the purpose of the fight to start with!
My ex use to want to have sex after a fight and he thought that made the issue we were fighting about moot, but he found out the next morning that the issue was still there because the issue had not been settled or compromised on.
So while I followed my Mom's saying it did not in anyway mean the issue was resolved. Real issues can not be resolved with sex!
2007-04-17 18:17:59 · answer #4 · answered by Sugarplum 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know the only problem with that is when you and your husband grow older and can not have sex anymore (and lets face it, we all know it will happen sooner or later even after viagra!!) but when this happens then what will you have? When you fight, you will not be able to get over so quick! But if you are as close as you say you should be ok. But in the mean time...Enjoy the make-up sex!!!
2007-04-17 18:12:58 · answer #5 · answered by bbygirl0811 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it's not a huge disagreement, I don't see what it hurts. If the fight was about not taking out the trash or forgetting to tivo lost, what better way to soothe bitter feelings?
I bet 75% of the responses you get are going to say that it means you have deeper issues, and you don't communicate. I say you communicate just fine.
2007-04-17 18:11:06 · answer #6 · answered by prettygirlsmakegraves 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it is completely normal. It is a way of saying i'm sorry, clearing the air. It is so personal and initimate that it could really bring you two together. On the other hand, its is very troublesome to use sex to AVOID problems or a subject that you dont want to talk about. It's all relative but i think it's ok ;)
2007-04-17 18:08:56 · answer #7 · answered by minaarglinda 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is a good thing to have a via to get back to the love in a relationship. Just make sure real issues are being addressed at some point in the union.
Yes I think you and your hubby's system is just fine.
2007-04-17 18:11:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it shows that little arguments are stupid, but if you start using it for issues that need to be resolved, it is not going to help, in fact resolution should happen before the sex.
2007-04-17 18:09:15 · answer #9 · answered by bob shark 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Communication is always the best way to settle your differences. Without it, there can be no relationship!! Now if you want to have sex after wards, Then by all means enjoy yourselves.
2007-04-17 18:22:46 · answer #10 · answered by master_escrimador 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋