Do you think children should stay in your house after turning 18 ? If yes, when should they move out?

Answer 1

Hello there. I just had to add my two cents to this question.
I have five children and as long as they are not engaged in some sort of dangerous, illegal behavior (and I am not worried about my kids doing anything like that) then they are welcome to live in "our" home until they die of old age. Any where that I live is their home as much as it is mine. I cannot imagine telling a child that they are not welcome in their own home!
My children are 30, 25, 23, 19 and 13. They could all move in with me tomorrow and I would be thrilled to death. "Homes full of love have elastic walls". I do suppose tho that there is very little chance of that happening and I am lucky in that my children could take care of me financially and not the other way around. With the exception of my 19 year old and my 13 year old, they are self-sufficient and have homes and lives of their own. They do live within a 20 mile radius of me which is wonderful, I see them every other day or so (as schedules allow) and we are always together on holidays and such.
I do understand that if there were financial restraints that made it difficult to stretch things far enough for everyone that could be a problem. I guess in that situation you have to put the smallest children first and let the older ones fend for themselves if they can. What I mean by that is that surely groceries for a 4 and 7 year old would come before a car payment for a 19 year old. That is what I am saying. It would break my heart to have to make that sort of a decision and I certainly hope nothing like that would ever happen to me.
Still as far as living at home, my children are welcome, this is their home too.
As long as we are on the subject, tho you did not ask, I have to say that I would never take a penny from one of my children for "rent" in their own home. To me that is like selling them a Christmas present! I could just never do it.
Just my opinion!
Blessings
Lady Trinity~

Answer 2

In American society I don't think that it is possible for a child to move out right when they turn 18 and have a fair and successful life. There are too many things that people are not allowed to do until they are 21 and it is not fair to expect anyone to make it on their own at the age of 18. The 18 year old should be working or going to school with some goals in mind with still living at home though.

Answer 3

No and yes... I believe that children should be taught that at the age of 18 they are considered an adult. Therefore they should be told and taught in advance on how to move out into the world on their own. But make sure you are supportive and not negative about it and be firm, because they will do anything to stay at home ...well, most of the time. The only way I say they stay home after the age of 18 is whether or not they are in college. I dont mind helping them out if it is for a good reason. My parents did this to me. I thought it was a fine idea. But they were also willing to make sure I had a roof over my head until I was able to get a job to afford to move out. It's all in the support you give them. Be their rock, but a soft one...which means support them but dont over due it and make them believe it is alright to stay living at home.

Answer 4

That answer would be different for everyone. I do not want my children to move out at some magic number simply because they feel they should. If they are going to school, I don't want them to have to pay for rent/mortgage and utilities while paying for college as well. If they want to get their own business off the ground, I want them to feel free to stay on longer. One woman I know was raped and simply needed the emotional support of her family much longer than some would say is "normal". It's between the adult child and their parents. Sometimes a kid needs the "boot", but I'm in no hurry for my kids to leave. I want them to get a running start first and not feel like they're drowning getting their start in life. I see no need for that.

Human beings are social creatures. The family is part of our social network and I find this concept that each person should be an island flawed and unnatural.

Answer 5

I live in my parents house still at 19 and a lot of my friends do as well. I think as long as they are working/studying and contrubute somehow (either by paying some board or doing the housework and stuff) then it's okay. I do think though that perhaps 25 is the limit. By that time they should feel like some freedom anyway and should go out and learn how to cope on their own.

Kids that just take advantage of being at home and pig out on the food and laze around without a job or studying shouldn't be given such luxeries.

Answer 6

I did not move out until I was married I had medical and emotional issues but I paid rent and part of the phone bill I am one of seven kids and NONE of us were allowed to freeload and sit around. This is an individual thing it does not fit everyone into one mold but at 24 I felt it was time to move on I was tired of the strictness and the rules and the double standards and even though my parents not perfect but for the most part were good parents I needed to be on my own so God answered that prayer by allowing me to marry and then I moved out.

It is so nice to be a guest at my mom and dads house then to live under their roof, I am a lot better off and a whole lot happier and fulfilled in more ways than one *smile*

Answer 7

I moved out when I was 21 but I was working and going to school. I couldn't work enough hours to pay a full rent check before. But my parents started to push a little by that time, But they really waited till i was ready. I'm glad they did because now a days most 18 year old don't even know the basics of living on there own.

Answer 8

It depends on the situation, honestly. If the kid is going to school full-time, then yes, they can't afford to move out. If the kid is working full-time and they're not in too much of a rush to leave (and it doesn't put strain on the family) I think they should be allowed to stay provided they pay their share of the bills. Now, if the kid is just sitting at home being lazy, staying up all night, sleeping all day, and won't work or pay their share of the bills, make them get a job and boot their butt out!

Answer 9

If my mother was to answer this question, she would say that yes, out the door at 18, even if means living on the streets. I raised 6 daughters and have one left at home. My girls all went off to college, met nice men, a couple of them have married, 2 are in their own apartments, and if any of them wanted to come back home I would welcome them with open arms. I enjoyed my children and miss them alot. But, they were raised in a mentally positive household, not alot of material things. I told them that I would supply their needs and anything above and beyond that they would have to earn on their own. My children had chores they had to do daily, no allowance, since they were 4 years old. They would go out and knock on doors as they got older and walk dogs, babysit, mow lawns, rake, shovel snow, anything they could do to earn extra money. I would post jobs weekly, for pay, like washing and vacuuming the car, yard work, washing windows, etc. They would fight over those jobs. They all had a strong work ethic and had actual part-time jobs when they turned 16. If my child, at 18, wanted to stay living with me, they would have to be either going to the local jr college or a trade school, or they would have to have a full time job. They would have to pay me $50.00 - $100.00 a week to live there, which I would put in a savings account for there future or to pay their expenses. They would have daily chores to do around the house and would have to live by my rules, no exceptions. They will tell you that they are 18 and can do what they want, but the truth is, then they can move out on their own. It is your house and you are in charge. If the child is lazy, doesn't want to work, loses every job they get, is basically irresponsible, then take them to sign up for the military. That will wake them up quickly. If they are defiant and disrespectful to you then tell them they have 30 days to make arrangements to move and stick to it. Make them leave. It does not make you bad to do that. But, never let others influence your decisions. If your child needs your help, or just needs a place to live because they do not earn enough to live out on there own, then enjoy the company, but make sure they are pulling their own weight. Keeping their room clean, doing their own laundry, helping prepare meals, cleaning up, doing yard work, etc.

Answer 10

It depends on their maturity and how close a family unit you are.

I moved out from home at 21, having saved some money and went to live with my girlfriend. Had i joined the military i would have moved out at 16, but looking back staying at home with the parents was a good idea as at 16 you are still a kid really !