TO ALL THE PREGNANT ADOLESCENT GIRLS OUT THERE!!! Why did you let yourself become pregnant????????????????????

Question

What are your plans for the future?

Who is going to care for your baby when the time comes?

What about your own high school & college education?

Where is the father of your baby?

Are you planning to marry him before or soon after the birth?

Will he be involved in your child's upbringing at all?

What were you thinking when you had unprotected sexual intercourse?

Are you emotionally mature enough to become someone's mother?

How will you care for your baby's emotional needs?

Financially speaking, how will you care for your baby's material needs?

Have you thought about every eventuality?

Do you think that it is fair to ask your parents to help you out and do the job you are supposed to do yourself (on your own or with the baby's father) as the baby's natural mother?



In other words, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU LET YOURSELF BECOME PREGNANT?!?







P.S. Victims of alleged rape, please refrain from responding. Thank you!

Answer 1

i guess maybe I'm considered an adolescent???
I was 20 when I got pregnant and now I'm 21. So here goes!!

My plans for the future is undecided. I might finish school and I might not either way ITS MY CHOICE!!

The time has already came. My daughter is 2 months old. Me and her father take care of her 24/7.

I finished High School and I got in 3 semesters of college. I was still undecided in my major. Someday I may decide to finish my education. I believe a education is a wonderful thing but right now Im a stay at home mommy.

The father of my baby is in the back of the house sleeping.

We had the date picked everything bought and the invitations mailed for Sept 2006. I found out I was pregnant in may 2006. I wasnt walking don the aisle at 4 months pregnant. I had terriable morning sickness the whole 9 months.

He is involved 100 %.

I was thinking ITS MY CHOICE. I loved him. I still love him. He is my soulmate. He gave me the most precious gift ever, my daughter. We were togeather for 3 1/2 years before I became pregnant.

I think I am emotionally mature enough. My daughter is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. There are no words to express a mothers love for her child, unless your a mother yourself you will never truely know.

I will care for her emotionally by alays putting her first. always being a role model. Giving her values. and teaching her to blossom into a mature woman someday. And most inportant LOVING HER!!

My fiancee is 11 years older and has a great job so financially we are alright. We both have always valued the inportance of maintaing good credit. With him having a career and a good job that lets me be a full time mommy.

I have thought about it and I dont regret having my daughter before I was married. It would have been nice, but now I can have my daughter at the second most inportant day of my life, my daughters birth being # 1. I dont regret having my daughter at the age of 20. I think having a baby is a hudge responsibility and I wouldnt tell all 20 year old to go out and have children. I became pregnant not planning it but It was the greatest moment in my life. When I seen her for the first time I cried so hard because I felt the greatsest feeling in the world. Do I reget not finishing school. No!! I can always go back to school but I cannot go back to my childrens younger days. They are only small for a short period of time and I think being a full time mommy is a job itself. I dont need 4 years of school and a piece of papre to reaise my child. My fiancee has that and provides for us. I think Im the lucky one. I get to spend all day with my baby and each day she is so different from th day before. I love watching her personality change each day.

i dont ask my parents for anything. They love my daugher and my mom has been begging to watch her for a few hours, but I cannot let go just yet. But financilly they dont support us. My mother gives me advice and I appreciate that. My mom understands how I feel cause she was a full time mom also.

What was I thinking when I LET MYSELF become pregnant????? We'll I was on the pill, but its not 100 %. i didnt let myself become pregnant but pregnancy is a blessing. A baby is a precious gift from God and I love my child and no one has the right to tell me Im not a good mother. Why because
Im not married??
I havent finished my education??
Im only 21??
I let myself become pregnant??
Had premartal sex??
Dont work??
What do you consider my child a bastard because of this? i dont. My daugher is my life. My everything. The most inportant thing!!!
Why do you care so much anyways? Dont you think its a persons choice to have children? Even if there not married. I dont particarly reccomend teenage mothers but just because there teenagers dosent mean there not good mothers.

Answer 2

You're proper. Preserve persons around you who're confident and block the whole thing else out. I had my first little one at 16 and had alot of help from my mom and dad. I was once in no way on welfare. I worked and had aid from my mum and dad. I grew up in a married two dad or mum loved ones and that i used to be instructed i wouldn't make it by my dad or mum's snobby friends however I made it with the love and support of my household. I finished excessive tuition earned an A.A., B.A. And am now finishing my masters. You are able to do it. I am now married to my baby's father and we've a beautiful house. You can do it. Don't permit any individual to keep you back! Just right success

Answer 3

Pregnancy is a terrific thing! Not everyone wants to be a career woman and go to college. In fact, that is quite a boring life. I have recently had a child. I got pregnant when I was 17, and it was a planned pregnancy. I have never made a better decision in my life, I love every minute of being a mum. It is much more fulfilling than the superficial goals that many people have.

What are your plans for the future? To be happy!

Who is going to care for your baby when the time comes? Well me of course, and my partner.

What about your own high school & college education? I dropped out of high school because what I was learning was incredibly pointless and all the teachers and students were bitchy.

Where is the father of your baby? With me :)

Are you planning to marry him before or soon after the birth? I would have married him before I got pregnant if it was legal to! As it is I have finally obtained a court order which allows a minor (my fiance is 17) to marry me (I live in Australia). Believe me, this was hard to get!

Will he be involved in your child's upbringing at all? Totally. He changes all the nappies :P he's a super dad!

What were you thinking when you had unprotected sexual intercourse? That I wanted to have a baby. Besides, it is more fun!

Are you emotionally mature enough to become someone's mother? I am more emotionally mature than many and most adults.

How will you care for your baby's emotional needs? I spend lots of time with her. We have planned how to raise her down to the last detail and moral. I am planning to home school my child because I believe that their parent should be their teacher rather than sticking them into a school where their emotional needs are not met and children treat each other badly.

Financially speaking, how will you care for your baby's material needs? In Australia, for those who actually know how to budget and aren't superficial Social Security payments are plenty. In fact, I have already saved over $8,000 aus on social security payments alone. How? I don't believe in having a car- it just chews up money and is a luxury I don't need when I can walk to the shops or take public transport. I don't feel the need to see every movie that comes out, or to buy an expensive wedding ring, or to buy gaming consoles.

Have you thought about every eventuality?

Do you think that it is fair to ask your parents to help you out and do the job you are supposed to do yourself (on your own or with the baby's father) as the baby's natural mother? My parents love to help out and every other grandparent should be happy to do the same if they truly love their daughter. And that is definitely presuming a lot, teenagers aren't that incompetent! They can still look after their own child! Even ones much younger than me.



In other words, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU LET YOURSELF BECOME PREGNANT?!? Do I really need to answer that question? Pregnancy is a wonderful thing! Even as a teenager! It is a wake-up call for many people and can help them to be much more mature than their peers- which I would argue is a good thing considering how immature and cruel teenagers can be. I think you need to closely look at your own values and beliefs and make sure they are up to scratch.

Answer 4

That's all really presumptuous of you. I got pregnant when I was 18, and it was from protected sex. Secondly, my parents never had to do anything for my child. I raise him on my own. I am also in college and working. Having a baby doesn't mean putting your dreams on hold. That's a myth that obviously a lot of people buy into. So you shouldn't assume that these things are true of single mothers. As far as the other things, many married couples are poor. Are you saying they shouldn't have children? Furthermore, many married women are not mature enough to raise children, but they do. Also, many women have been pregnant once in their lifetime. Abortion is so prevalent that people really don't have the room to judge who's pregnant and who isn't. I guess the real question you're trying to ask is, "What were you thinking when you didn't get an abortion like millions of other teenagers?"

Answer 5

Well, I suppose I'll answer your questions.
-I'm 19 years old & of course, pregnant.
-My plans for the future is to work hard to help raise my family.
-My boyfriend of three years and I are going to take care of the child when the time comes.
-I'm a full time college student and will continue to go to college, I'm just going to lower the number of classes I am taking. My boyfriend is also going to college. So, we'll both be taking morning classes and I'll probably have a family member watch the baby while I'm in class. Then when I'm not in class, I'll be home (I live with my boyfriend) and will be taking care of the child.
- Again, the father of my baby and I have known each other for six years and have been dating for three of those six. So, he'll be here by our side.
- Since our pregnancy was unplanned, we don't want to get married right away just because we're starting a family earlier than what we had planned. We had been talking about marriage for the past year, but we are going to wait a while before marriage. We're just going to focus on college, working (he works third shift and makes good money), and raising our child.
-Yes, he will be involved in raising this child.
-I never wanted to have unprotected sex, but I didn't put my foot down like i should have when the time came. I merely did it to please him. So, we got pregnant, and we are dealing with our actions in a mature manner.
- I don't think anyone is every 100% completely emotionally mature to be a mother or ever 100% mentally or financially mature. However, I feel like I'm a lot more mature than most people my age. I'm not into the party scene. I think it's a waste of time and not necessary to be spending every weekend partying and whatnot. I've helped raise a lot of kids. I've been watching children since I was 10 years old, so I feel like I know what I'll be doing. I'm going to finish college in order to provide my family with what they'll need. Even if it's going to be hard.
-My boyfriend is the only one working right now, but he makes really good money. He works in a company that has the second highest pay rate in the town. and he makes more than other people at his job.
-As for though about everything, I'm not exactly sure what you mean by that.
- If I were to ask my family for help, it's not to do my "job," it's merely like you said, a little bit of help. and no I don't think it's unfair. They are more than welcome to decline, and I won't have a problem with it. But mine and my boyfriend's family are supportive. And I'm not one to take advantage of people. My boyfriend and I will try our best to do what we can without help, but everyone needs help every once in a while, and I'm sure we'll come across those times where we would need some help.
-And for your last question. Since our pregnancy was unplanned, i didn't "let" myself get pregnant. Sure I took my chances every time I had unprotected sex, and now that I am pregnant, I'm dealing with my actions. I'm taking on full responsibility and will do my best to fulfill my duty as a mother to the best I can.

and my question to you is what are your reasons for asking these questions?

AND IN OTHER WORDS...EVEN THOUGH I'M 19, PREGNANT, A COLLEGE STUDENT, I COULDN'T BE ANYMORE HAPPIER THAN WHAT I AM NOW. =]

Answer 6

I am not a mom I was unable to have children due to medical and financial reasons. I am married to a godly man who is an awesome loving uncle to my seedlings that is what I call my nieces and nephews.

I read this entire post in its full and I would like to add my take on this. My siblings some of them got pregnant before marraige and back in my parents day that was shocking.
but my siblings are very good parents and very repsonsible.

At one point when I lived in NY I was bitter and resentful of all the mercy and love the single girls in our church were getting
I was expected to be a higher standard because my husband was in church leadership and I did not like the single moms at all I even went so far to label them hoochie mommas and poke fun at them looking back that was not nice and mature at all.

One sunny day I woke up and realize the single moms are not responsbile for me not having children and even though I did not like them as a christian it was my responsbility to love them and pray for them I moved 2500 miles away and I still pray.

Single moms do not have it easy some girls are not fourtunate "big daddy" more often than not leaves the scene after he finds out his girl is pregnant.

I have had EVERY thought you posted and then some beleive me hon, I was truly pi$$ed off and angry. But we dont live in the age of innocence any more and sex is much more casual and like some said in the post birth control does not always work, as I mentioned before I was severly catuioned and advised never to have children and I was on the pill since I was married and my husband got a vascetmony out of love for me, God did not want me to be a mom but I am an awesome Auntie, godmother and spirirtual mommy to the precoius children at our church.

I received counsel about my hostility about single moms and I will tell you what was told to me never judge a person until walked at least a mile or 2 in thier shoes and everyone is responsbile for the song they have sung.

Sweetie dont be so harsh on these young mothers they have enough crap to deal with on a minute by minute basis. You do have some valid points but speak the truth in love and realize that everyone has fallen short of the glory of God.

Many young girls do not have a daddy and a father that love them and many look to thier boyfriend as the protector or father figure many girls are not looking for sex as much as they are looking for true love and to be held.

In closing realize that these moms need prayer for wisdom, guidance strength and peace. Picture your self this this postion that you listed above it is no day at the beach.

Be encouraged you raised some VERY good points but remember the Bible says the greatest of these is love.

I hope this helps E4G

Answer 7

Well im 16.. and pregnant!! Please dont hold it against me lady but i was on the pill and using condoms when i fell pregnant, so u see.. contraceptive is not 100% safe. Also, and not that it is your business really, but i felt that this was a better option to having an abortion - dont you agree?? My boyfriend and i are not going to get married and mind you there are alot of adult couples who have a baby and are not married. Ive decided to leave school in a few months and i will be supported by my boyfriend who has a full time job. When our child is about 2yrs old i will get a part time job in the evenings to also provide for our family. What do you mean how will i care for my childs emotional needs.. ? Im not an idiot and i will care about my child just as you do yours. My parents are great enough to support my decisions and are prepared to help although im not going to depend on them.. why should i? please remember that not all adolesents are educated towards sexual education so dont be so harsh.
.. where there is a will there is a way.. and im going to be a fantastic mother! Oh and thanks for your concern!!

Answer 8

I don't know if I was considered an "adolescent" when I had my son. I was eighteen when I gave birth and I look a lot younger then my age. You know what? I'll answer your questions from that point in my life but people like you really have some nerve...

1. At the time my plans were to become a great stay at home mother. Guess what? I am.

2. I had already graduated from High School and I was nearly finished with my degree in Early Childhood Education as well as being certified in phlebotomy.

3. The father of my baby was my husband--who is still my husband.

4. I was married to him when I became pregnant.

5. Yes, he's involved but not as involved as most fathers are. [See below for details.]

6. Yes, I was emotionally mature enough to care for my baby's needs. Heck, I was emancipated after I graduated HS at 16 and was legally and "adult." At the time of the birth I was also "temporarily" [which turned out to be more then temporary] watching my cousin--he lived with my husband and I. So, I was already mature enough to become responsible for children.

7. Well, the same way that you care for any emotional needs quite frankly. Showing care isn't that hard to do and being mature isn't that hard in most instances.

8. Financially speaking, I'm not on any kind of government assistance--WIC, HUD, Food Stamps, or Medicaid. What a shocker! My husband has [and was] insured and brought home a decent income which has increased.

9. Yes, who would plan a pregnancy and not think it out? Are you crazy?

10. LOL! This one cracks me up. At the time of my son's birth I was living in New Mexico. My family lived in Ohio. My husband's family lived in eastern Texas. No help there. Now we live in Florida and the family still lives in New Mexico and Ohio.









--------Last but not least----------

You sit there and judge me but go right ahead honey. You are the person at Wal-Mart giving nasty looks but are shocked when I don't pull out food stamps. You are the person who watches young mother struggle and then laughs.

You know what? My husband is in Iraq. This is his second deployment. He's insuring your RIGHT to judge me. He's insuring your nasty remarks and freedom of speech. He missed my son's birth for this country and this is how people repay him? That's the funniest part of it all.

I'm your typical suburban mother and wife despite my age. I stay at home, drive an SUV, take walks with my kids, and don’t even have the privilege of my parents being in my kids’ lives. So take your judgments and give them to someone else. I hope next time you see a young mother you might think that maybe there’s more then meets the eye.

Enjoy your freedom to judge me. Enjoy your freedom to make rude remarks. Enjoy your freedom to make younger mothers who do a darn good job as parents feel like crap. Just remember--my husband is providing you with that.

Answer 9

Wow! I would hate to see what would happen if your daughter got pregnant or if your son got a girl pregnant. You would spend more time asking "What were you thinking when you let yourself become pregnant" instead of the fact that they ARE pregnant. Those teenagers that are pregnant or got a girl pregnant are NOT your problem, and are NOT your children to be preaching to. You think you're making yourself look like the better person posting that on here making them feel bad? Why dont you focus on the fact that they are pregnant right now. Obviously we know what they were thinking when the "let" themselves get pregnant. They were thinking "oh I want this boy to like me I must sleep with him" "everyone does it, I should be okay" "my mother never said it wasnt okay to have sex" "my mother never got my birthcontrol, but its only one time so I should be okay" things like that is what they are thinking. I think they correct questions is WHAT WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU POSTED THIS QUESTION?

Answer 10

I think you have some great questions. Even though alot of people here call you rude, its only cause you have questions that SHOULD be asked, but everyone is afraid to.

Most pregnant girls (read not ALL) can't answer those questions or think they'll magically figure out a way to pay for and raise the baby they want to have. But realistically they usually go on public aid for many years to come and the taxpayers are forced to accept responsibility for their behavior and foot the bill.

Here's a wild concept. Any pregnant girl who needs public aid can use it, but must pay back what they use (minus regular taxes). Guys already have to...if pregnant girls have too eventually as well, many would think twice before having kids they can't afford.