i still have strong feelings for this girl who use to like me too, but we now live 500 miles away and are dating other people... but tonight she told me that she was cutting herself and hadn't told anybody else. i don't know what i can do bc of the distance so i just gave her my phone number and told her to call me if she ever felt like hurting herself. was this the right thing to do? i also got her hooked up with some counseling services where my old school (where she goes is). why would she not talk to me for a while then come to me with this? what does that mean? she also told me that she lost her virginity and her body feels weird. why the hell would she tell me that but not her bf? bc i care about her, it hurt to hear that she had slept with him
2007-04-17 17:36:15 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she needed to talk to someone she knew she could talk to.
2007-04-17 17:41:09 · answer #1 · answered by jbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is telling you this because you are 500 miles away and she considers you "safe." Her bf is too close, probably emotionally and physically. People who cut are trying to relieve tension and pain and regain control over their lives. The act gives them a sense of release. As for the sex, it could have been curiosity or a hope that it might make a difference in her life or attitude, that she might be changed for it somehow.
I think you did the right thing by offering your friendship and by giving her advice to get counseling. Hopefully, she will do that. Realize, however, that you aren't a counselor and can not "save" her from herself. She must do that on her own. If her behavior escalates to the point where you are unsure of her stability, then I would contact her parents or counselor at her school.
2007-04-17 17:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by soni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels comfortable with you. my best friend besides my boyfriend is a male. he comes to me with ANYTHING even problems with sex we grew up together and have this connections that is prolly why she told you, she might also be affraid she is pregnant and wanted someone to be there but aparantley she doesnt feel her boyfriend would be there for her. as for the cutting a girlfriend of mine who i also grew up with used to cut herself. she never told anyone and i saw the marks and asked her she denied it then a couple days later made me guess what her problem was (that was it). She confided in you because that is the first step for her to get help is to admit it. that means she wants help and just doesnt know what to do. i got books and looked online and found alot out on why she might do it and how to help. and yes telling her to call you if she felt like hurting herself was the best thing you could do. that means she has an alternative....you.
2007-04-17 17:43:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is playing games for attention. Tell someone close to her about what she is doing. You can not be worrying yourself over something that you have no way of controlling. Your life is just as important as hers, and you have a right to live in peace. It is not as if you are dating any more. Maybe she should be talking to the guy she lost her virginity to.
I have seen this game played before.
2007-04-17 17:44:35 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she wants your help really really badly and you were probably the first person that came to her head. i have a couple of friends who are really confused about life and do the same thing. they tell a couple of people because they either just have to get it off their chests, or for sympathy...sometimes. other times they feel alone. good for you to talk to the counselors of your school. its also a good thing you are still in contact with her. keep asking her how she is and check up on her alot, but not to the point of being overwhelming. be patient. everything will work out eventually.
2007-04-17 17:49:02 · answer #5 · answered by double you tee ef (the answerer) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She did it to get your attention, she may not even be cutting herself. When someone does this, whether it is the truth or not, they are just trying to get your attention, to get you back in their life. Most likely she is hoping you will become her boyfriend again or she may just be trying to make you admit that you care. Either way, you are right in thinking that she needs a counselor but you need to go one stop further. Instead of just telling her to go to the counselor, you need to call the counselor and tell them what is going on so that he can address it with her. She may get mad at you for this, but it is for her own good and she will realize that in time.
2007-04-17 17:43:00 · answer #6 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to find out more from her. She's obviously going through a tough time right now. Well, I dunno how she lost her virginity but i suspect that her cutting has something to do with the lost of her virginity.
I dunno man...if she did it willing then she wouldn't be regretting and it shouldn't affect her that much. Her bf might have forced her to have sex (It might be possible) ?
Try to stay close to her by being her friend. I know you still care a lot for her...She needs your support right now. She trusts you and that is why she chose to tell you all these...
2007-04-17 17:43:35 · answer #7 · answered by Grace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy has taken advantage of her and obviously she knows that he doesn't care for her, he only wanted to please himself. She wishes that she had not gone this far with him. She is telling you this, just as the others have said, she knows that you care. If you can pray at all, please pray for her because she is hating herself right now. Let her know that you do still care about her at least until she can find the help that she needs. You may want to let her parents know about this if she is not heading in the right direction to get the help. Of course it is up to you for anything past that.
2007-04-17 17:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by Kimi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a fact that she is considering suicide since she is cutting herself. Apparently you are the only person she trusts at this point. This happens often with people who are suicidal. She does need and needs it now. Please don't take anger out on her. It is good that you referred her to a counseling place. Ask them questions as well, take one step at a time. Hopefully your friend will come out of this bad time as well.
2007-04-17 17:49:30 · answer #9 · answered by rubyred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MAYBE SHE JUST NEEDS SOMEONE THAT WILL LISTEN
TO HER AND I THINK IT IS OK THAT U GAVE HER UR
PHONE NUMBER. FOR 1 U WILL KNOW WHEN AND IF
SOMETHING DID OR POSSIBLY WILL HAPPEN AND THEN U CAN PROBABLY CALL SOMEONE IN HER AREA.
AND SECOND MAYBE IT COMFORTS HER TO HEAR UR
VOICE. AS FOR HER TELLING U ABOUT THE PREVIOUS
MATE ONLY SHE KNOWS WHY SHE TOLD U. MAYBE
SHE WANTED TO SHE WHAT UR REACTION WOULD
BE. U DID A GOOD THINK BY NOT TURNING HER AWAY.
2007-04-17 17:46:00 · answer #10 · answered by Rosemary M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well tim. from the way i see it. you use to talk alot b4. now since you last spoke to her your answers and help have been building up inside of her. now that she's at a hiatus to talk she spills her heart out because she "knows" you have the answers or the help she finds. i think it's a good thing if you are careful on managing the control your words have on her. you've gained a great deal of confidence. and you've helped her. you're a good friend
2007-04-17 17:47:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋