Question about wedding attire... more casual?

Question

I was just informed by my fiance's mother that his father will refuse to wear a tux to our wedding. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable so I thought perhaps I could just ask him to wear khakis and a blue plaid shirt (since our colors are blue and white). I think if I do this, my dad should also wear something similar so photos will look better. Also I could have the ringbearer (my little brother) wear the same thing. I thought of putting the groomsmen in that too, but I think tuxs would be better for them. My wedding will be pretty casual anyway, so do you think this would look okay? Just the groom and groomsmen in tuxs? Also, should I ask my mother and his to pick a similar dress or at least the same color? Another question: My dad is bald and looks bad without a hat... however I'm getting married in a church so he can't really wear one... what would be your suggestions there? Thanks for all opinions

Answer 1

the father of the groom plays no real part in the wedding.. so think of him as a guess...its your wedding .... the only time my father was in my wedding at all was when he escorted my mom in during the reception.. and for the pictures with a clever photoragher he/she can put him in the back..so you can just see a small part of his upperbody ...

and as for your father sorry no bald advice here....

Answer 2

Khakis and a blue plaid shirt? That is totally unacceptable at a wedding. The least your future father in law could do is to wear a decent suit to his son's wedding. I think he is being obnoxious and unreasonable. Don't be so nice and understanding. You are making it very easy for him to be a real pain in the butt. Explain to him or your fiance that it is \a special day and a once in a lifetime thing and he could just suck it up and wear a suit or tux for his son and daughter in law. Also, don't let your Dad wear the same get up and your little brother. Why bow down to him and stoop to his level? I would tell him your father is going to be in a tux or a suit and if he wants to dress in casual clothing, go right ahead but he will be the only one at the wedding dressed like that and he is spoiling your wedding party. Also don't let your Dad wear a hat. Why are you changing your whole wedding plans to accomodate an unreasonable man (your father in law) ..who isn't showing any decorum or respect for your special day? Get tough and strong. Don't be so goody two shoes..as you won't get any respect from him or his wife for you being so nice anyway. He will spoil your wedding and the photographs will look terrible. Change plans, be tough.
Don't let him get away with spoiling your wedding.

Answer 3

If your dad wants ro wear a tux let him...after all he is walking his little girl down the aisle. Don't worry too much about pictures, they will look just fine. If anything he is the one that will look stupid, and that is his fault for being stubborn. I totally know what you are going through, my father in-law also was the ONLY one out of all the guys that wouldn't wear a tux. For his other son's wedding he at least wore a suit, but kid you not the man wore a black shirt with a white stripe and black pants to ours. Oh and he also refused to wear his boutiner(oops spelled wrong) my cousin and I worked so hard to make. He was an all around grump the whole time, but I didn't let them ruin the day for us. Remember the same he isn't worth ruining your day for so just let him do what ever he wants(you will be the better person for it!
For the mothers, no they don't have to match. Actually they usually don't so don't worry about that, just let them pick whatever they want to wear.
For your dad's head, see if he will allow you to put a little bit of a powdered makeup that is the same as his skin tone(match it just like you would for yourself) if you are worried about it being shinny. If this is not the case there are some churches that will allow people to wear hats, just talk to your minister and let him know your concerns. If he or she is ok with this find a dressy style hat for your dad to wear. It doesn't look too bad, actually some hats look really good with a tux, my sister in-law's dad wore one at her wedding and recently our local coming home king wore one also. Just try to find one that doesn't make him look too much like a pimp.Congratulations and the best to both of you!

Answer 4

I think since this is your special day you should do what is going to make you happy. If you don't mind khakis and a blue plaid shirt at your wedding then by all means make a theme out of it. and if you can get the moms to coordinate thier dresses as well that would be alright. however i do think that the groomsmen should be in traditional attire along with the groom. I think your wedding pics well turn out just fine.

Answer 5

There is no rule on what people should wear at a wedding. You can't keep the weird cousin from showing up in a concert shirt, just like you can't make a dad wear a tux.

Asking for a compromise is not unreasonable. Ask him to wear a dark suit or to at least dress business casual. It is a special day for you two and he should understand that and respect your wishes.

Answer 6

You can't mix formal wear with casual wear. That means everyone in the wedding party will have to go formal or casual. Including you. Maybe a pretty white sun dress.

About your dad's baldness. If it matters THAT much to him, that he wear a hat, you might consider changing the location of the wedding. Maybe to a park.

Park weddings are always fun and he would be able to wear his hat.

Answer 7

The dads don't wear tuxes, just the wedding party. He should just wear a nice suit.

Answer 8

Did you ask her if he was adverse to a suit?

If he really wants to be comfortable, buy him one of those t-shirt that has the tux printed on it.

Seriously, if it is a casual wedding, the parents do not have to match. Let them dress casual and the actual wedding party go formal.

Answer 9

I think it would look fine, but you should let people not in the wedding pick out there own outfits. Just the wedding party need to match not the guests. Your photo will look grate no matter what people wear, just don't over do it you could end up upsetting someone.

Answer 10

Why not just have the fathers were dress pants and a sport jacket with a nice shirt under, no ties, that way it would still look nice but your future father in law wont feel like he is in a straight jacket. Admit it, a tie can be very uncomfortable if you are not used to wearing them. maybe put the fathers in black pants and jacket with a blue shirt.

Answer 11

I would have your father wear a tux if he wants. If your fiance's father refuses, just let him wear a suit or something. The mothers don't have to match and in fact, they usually shouldn't. Good luck! :)