I am interested in asking a colleague out on a date, but I'm not sure if he's gay or not. He's not married, but he doesn't have obvious gay mannerisms either. He smiles at me with a twinkle in his eye, but I could be reading too much into simple friendliness. I thought about just "asking around" ... is that the best way? I suspect he's not "out" and might withdraw and not even be friendly anymore if rumor got back to him that I was asking other people. He's such a nice guy, intelligent, attractive, interesting, and very decent acting. It sucks to be gay in a straight world. (note - this in not a teenager situation.. we are both middle-aged professionals, both single.)
2007-04-17 16:48:07 · 19 answers · asked by uncle 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
YIPPIE !!!!!! YIPPER MY SUBJECT GAY ! lol
well you dont want to ask around. then it will get back to him threes always one rat in the office lol. try and engage in conversation with him. dose he know your gay ? if so then talk in general not directly to him, " like oh my god that date was the worst .. wit that guy" and hence he might spark up a convo
but the best thing is to just take it slow and talk it out with him get to know him and see.
as a gay guy you should know that not all gay guys have the femine in them, the masculine guys are hard to spot the fairy's/femms lol are easy to spot.
hope this helps much and so glad to help someone who is also gay :) lol
2007-04-17 16:55:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there Uncle, If he is gay, then he probably won't mind you asking him out right; but if he is straight, it might offend him. Definitely don't ask around the office! Not all gay guys have 'obvious gay mannerisms,' and even straight guys can tend to have these mannerisms. Never assume because it makes an as* out of u and me....get it?...(as* u me)
If he is not out, his sexuality may be difficult to ascertain. Just go out with him a few times, invite him round to your place, and see if he will return the invite and allow you to go to his place. Get to know him, and you may well find out in time. Sexuality can be a very personal thing to some people. He may come to trust you in time. I hope that you get the result you are seeking. I am so inquisitive now, do let me know how it works out!! :o) I wish you all the best!
2007-04-17 17:18:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just make sure he knows that he can trust you. Whatever he's going through, whether sexuality conflicts or not, he obviously is going through a rough time and needs reassurance and comforting. Say things like "WHATEVER it is you're going through, you know I would never judge you. I'm here for you if you need to talk anything over." And even if he never tells you what his issue is, knowing someone is there caring for him may be all that he needs to push through.
2016-05-17 22:34:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just try to find some common ground, start up conversations, joke around, ask him questions about his "family", etc. You will get the drift. My best guy friend was gay, and he was not out or it was not obvious by any means and he always KNEW...... Maybe he isn't sure if YOU are gay....let him know. GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-04-17 16:57:23 · answer #4 · answered by happyin2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compliment him (possibly repeating what you've said here) and then make it as a kind of joke like "Wow! You're a nice, intelligent , and interesting guy. Wait, are you gay?"
Most straight guys won't get offended and will take it as a compliment, and if he is then it would be the perfect opportunity to admit he is.
2007-04-17 16:55:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm you need to approach this one with caution hun.
Maybe you could mention that you were in a club over the weekend - a gay one - and just say - " i dont suppose you've ever ventured inside the door of a gay club?" - you're basically letting him know you're gay - and not directly asking him about his preferences - if he is gay Im sure he'll just tell you there and then - if hes not Im pretty sure he'll let you know!
by asking him this way - if hes not gay - you'll be saved the embarrassment of asking him directly!
I hope he is though!!
xx
2007-04-17 21:51:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your motivation is romantic in nature. Would you be crushed if he turned you down flat gay or not? Is there a chance that you could develop a good non romatic friendship?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained is what a friend of mine always says. Ask him out as a friend and see what develops.
Even if it does not get romantic you might just add a good friend to your collection of people in your life.
Good luck :)
2007-04-17 16:55:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
ask him what color he likes on you the best if he says girly light colors hes automatically gay. If he criticizes your fashion hes gay period.
2007-04-17 16:55:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him out for coffee, or a bar, see if he'll go with you.
Just keep hanging out with him, you'll figure it out.
2007-04-17 16:57:51 · answer #9 · answered by lilith 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have to say rock on that you are gay!!! but you should try to go out for coffe and stuff like that! good luck;)
2007-04-17 16:52:37 · answer #10 · answered by jess98gum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋