Am I a lucky girl or is he treating me poorly?

Question

My question is: Should I be more forgiving of my boyfriend or should I be holding him up to a higher standard? Here's the sitch: We've dated for over 3 years- I'm 22 and he's 23. We met at college while I lived on campus and he lived at home. He still lives at home with his parents. He's yet to graduate and I graduated and am almost done with my teaching credential. He's never slept over at my apartment and he rarely stays out past 8 PM! He doesn't drink at all or do any drugs. I also don't do any drugs but I do drink socially and like to stay up late sometimes. We see each other about twice a week. We hardly ever talk on the phone because he doesn't like to. When we hang out, it is often at his house, with his parents. I'm feeling frustuated by this relationship because although I adore him and love him, I'd like someone I can talk to everyday and sometimes sleep over with and sometimes stay out late with. Am I being too picky?

Answer 1

NO, your not but you can't get this resolved unless you talk to him yourself rather than posting this question on Yahoo. You will get un-accurate advice from people you don't even know. It will just put unnecessary ideas in your head. Your best bet is to TALK TO HIM maturely.

Answer 2

I have a feeling somethings up, he doesn't wanna spend the night thats a little strange for a 23 year old guy, UNLESS he is waiting till marriage. Other then that I don't see why he wouldn't jump for the opportunity. I do not think you are being picky at all, you and your bf just don't seem to want the same things, have the same goals or same social life. In my opinion things might not last long, I would find yourself a guy that likes to drink and stay up late and have late night talks at your house. But before you go and kick him to the curb, talk to him, find out what he wants out of your relationship and find out if there is a future beyond his parent living room.

Answer 3

He's definitely treating you poorly! 3 Years!!!! Yet, he still lives with his parents and you see each other maybe twice a week. Girl, you definitely deserve better than that. How can you expect a relationship to grow if it's moving like molasses. I'm not saying that people should just jump into relationships but you've been dating for 3 years. I think it's time to have a talk and see where exactly HE sees this relationship going and if he's willing to move forward. If he's not then you need to move on. Either he doesn't really want to be with you or he's seriously taking the whole relationship for granted. Either way, you deserve better than that.

Answer 4

I don't think you are being too picky. In fact, I suggest being VERY picky, but only about things you can't live without...or sometimes with. I would be a little worried about his time frame for school, but probably not for the reason you might think. The more time you spend in school, the more likely it is that you will accrue debt, and it tends to sneak up on people.

You say a lot about what he does not do, and not much about what he does do and, while your activities do not have to always match perfectly, at the end of the day it sounds like you want someone to spend your time with. You say his is your boyfriend, but what you describe is only a friend.

Answer 5

NO, you aren't being picky. This is what happened with my ex-boyfriend. I'm 24, we went out for 4 years and broke up a few months ago. We both lived at home during our relationship and whenever I saw him it was at one of our homes with parents/siblings around. This was ok with me whilst I was at uni. But I finished uni about 6 months ago, got a full time job, and I'm ready to move out and live away from parents! Unfortunately, he has a crap job and doesn't want to move out for about 5 more years. Also, he works nights so I hardly EVER got to see him and yep he hardly ever called me. I was so miserable. We just grew apart and our lives started to take very different directions. I asked myself whether I wanted to be with this person for life, and get married and my gut reaction was NO. I was brave and broke up with him. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It was, however, the right thing to do. Looking back I now realise how unhappy I was in the relationship, I felt like I was 'wasting' my youth. I've now met another man. He is 27, owns his own house. We share the same dreams. To live together in a year, rent his house out and find 'our' home. I'm so in love and thank god I had the guts to get out of a relationship that I knew wasn't working and that I had so many doubts about. I hope my experience helps you. I can't answer the question for you. You are smart to be thinking about what you REALLY want. Good luck!

Answer 6

He might just be afraid of what his parents think. You are both old enough to be responsible for your decisions, so he shouldn't be afraid of what they will think. You don't want to be with someone who will hold you back, either. Talk to him about it. See if he will come out with you once in awhile to have a social drink and stay out later than 8. Tell him how you feel so he knows your perspective. If he still doesn't want to change at all to accommodate you, he isn't worth keeping. Keep in mind, however, that it takes time for people to change. I would say that having him come out with you once a month would be a good start, especially if he is really shy. Good luck, and I hope things work out!

Answer 7

Personally he seems like a good friend but not a boyfriend. He doesn't seem to fit your lifestyle at all. Maybe when you were in college he was a good boyfriend but it has been 3 years and nothing has progressed then it's time to accept him as a friend and find someone who can be a BOYFRIEND. Since you do love him you should keep him in your life but let him go with any thoughts of a relationship.

Answer 8

You aren't being too picky. You recognize this is a nice guy AND he's possibly not your nice guy. I don't think it's a "higher standard" question, but rather one of whether or not you are getting your needs met. You sound like a go-getter who likes to enjoy and experience life responsibly; from your question, he seems to be content with the status quo and ill-equipped to grow into a self-sustaining man. The question is, where do you want life to take you? And how does he fit in this scenario? He is who he is and seems to be getting what he wants out of life; make sure you get what you want, too. Yes, there are compromises in any relationship, but they shouldn't sacrifice your basic needs and deepest desires. It doesn't sound like he's treating you poorly, but it does sound like he isn't treating you how you need to be treated. I hope you find peace with your decision about him, whatever it may be!

Answer 9

No, not at all; I mean he needs to recognize your needs. If you want to go out more, and he wants to stay in, if yall have a good relationship he should make the concession. Because it sounds like you have been sacrificing for him for a while now, and are getting a lil tired of it. So no, your not being too picky.

Answer 10

You are not being picky, let him know your true feelings. Tell him you want to spend time with him alone at your place. Ask him why he doesn't want to stay out late? He kind of sounds like someone who doesn't want to leave the comfort of his home. Let him know how you feel and what you want from this relationship and ask him what he wants.

Answer 11

you're purely 14, do no longer sweat it. Boys do no longer oftentimes hit their growth spurts until eventually later than that (and later than females, oftentimes). you will in all risk strengthen a foot in intense college and could no longer might desire to subject approximately being short or obese for something of your existence. As for no longer having been kissed yet, or no longer having a female pal it is neither undesirable nor unusual--neither is it in any way a predictor of whether or no longer you would be wanting girlfriends interior the destiny. i did no longer get kissed until eventually i grew to become into 18, it is not a great deal :)