English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

As bad as this is to say my husband and I are having trouble controlling my 2 year old. We have a baby due in June and are trying everything we can to make it a smooth transitation for her but she refuses to listen and lips off to us...any ideas

2007-04-17 15:17:37 · 13 answers · asked by lolli_pop69_2001 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting Toddler & Preschooler

13 answers

She's two.

It's developmentally appropriate for her to push boundaries. She's trying to establish herself as a separate person and to figure out what's allowed and what isn't.

Use humor, as much as you can. Try reverse psychology. Don't get into situations where you're fighting or arguing with her. You're the mama, and you make the rules.

Be consistent about discipline. Some parents find it helpful to react immediately to any misbehavior, instead of letting it escalate until everyone's stressed out and angry. So if that means you have to give time outs in Target, or sit in the car at the grocery store, or temporarily leave a birthday party, do it. Your daughter has to know you mean business.

That said, though, pick your battles. Have just a few clear and simple rules. (My kids have 5 basic rules that cover just about all the major possibilities, and they can recite them like a catechism.) She can wear what she wants, or walk backwards, or whatever annoying thing she wants to do as long as she isn't doing anything unsafe, rude, mean, or against one of the cardinal rules.

2007-04-17 15:24:45 · answer #1 · answered by Yarro Pilz 6 · 1 1

,This is why kids need two parents. My wife has more difficulty controlling my son than I do. Why? I think it has to do a lot with my strong manly voice when I say No. He also knows that I'm stronger and I'm the same sex as he is. So your going to have to pretend in your mind that your the father too. Try to say no with a stern voice (deeper if possible). Say it loud, but stay in control. If she still doesn't listen after you repeat no a few times, grab her (but don't shake her) and get in her face and tell her "your getting time out because you didn't listen". Choose an area like the bedroom, and make her lie on the bed, and close the door for about 5 to 10 minutes. Sometimes they fall asleep because they were tired in the first place. That is another reason why they start acting up. Keep doing this repetitively and you should get good results. Don't give in. Good Luck!

2016-05-17 22:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

okay, I know exactly what you are going through. I also have a 2 yr old. who sometimes throws temper tantrums, has slammed himself down, bangs his head, hits himself, yells "NO!" back at us, etc.....
We have tried certain things consistently, including, time outs, and spanking (only one or two taps on his bottom). The only thing either of these do is make him more upset or aggitated. And sometimes, even at an older 2 and one half, they just dont understand what we are saying. But.. they DO understand HOW we say stuff. So, this is what has been really working lately, better than anything...I promise, Try it! When he acts out, I will go over, squat to his level and just love him, hug him gently and talk gently to him, saying whatever...."I know you're upset, mommy loves you" or "it's going to be alright.....just come sit with mommy, over here," and tap the couch or point. But you are mommy, and she totally looks to you for all her needs and wants. Children dont know how to express all the mixed feelings that they may be experiencing. So my idea, was just to be very very patient with him, and totally STOP whatever I am doing, if he's not reacting correctly, and just let him know again, how much I love him, and I can't remember any time that this hasn't worked. Believe me, it is hard sometimes, especially if she has already pushed your buttons, (so to speak). If you feel you are on the verge of screaming or crying, just take one Big deep breath, and remember to look at her as your little 2 year old baby. Yes baby, after all she still is. I hope I dont make this sound easy, cuz sometimes it isnt. I am not pretending it is. But the other day, we were all out at a family restaurant, my mom, my 9yr old, my 2 yr old and me. He didnt want to eat his veggies, he wanted up out of the chair, I just know he'd be running all over, so I didn't let him.....at first. But he got louder and louder, and I was beginning to get embarrassed, because I felt like I should be doing something, but WHAT?? So I unhooked him from the highchair, and sat him in my lap facing me, and spoke softly to him, do you know what he did? He laid his head on my chest. I just held him and stroked his head. I felt so satisfied that we had "fixed" the problem together without making a terrible scene, or threatening him with something that I would feel guilty about later.

I can understand and appreciate what all you are going through, .....from 1 mommy to another, just give this gentle stuff a try. At first it feels totally opposite from what you think you should be doing, but then it will just come more natural. I raised my 9 year old up on just spankings, that's the only thing I knew. He's fine, but now, I know better. Good Luck!!!

2007-04-17 15:44:05 · answer #3 · answered by celtess 2 · 0 0

You need to make a "naughty spot" just like Supernanny and if she lips off she has to go there. Set a timer for 2 min. AFTER she stops crying. If she crys calmly say "I can't turn on the timer until you stop". It is important for them to hear the "ding" or "beep" to know it is okay to get down. If she starts crying again the timer must be reset. If she gets up don't lose your cool just calmly place her back in the chair and tell her her time has to start over.

I had a childs recliner facing the wall in the living room. My 2yr old, and 6 yr old hate to sit there!!!!

It takes persistance and patience but it really does work!!!

The other thing is to make a sticker chart. For days she is good she gets a sticker on a chart or calendar. When she has so many stickers she gets a small prize, like a $1 for the dollar store, or a trip to the park. Kids love reward systems.

2007-04-17 15:25:18 · answer #4 · answered by countrymom94 2 · 0 2

Try the discipline techniques in "1-2-3 Magic", by Dr. Thomas Phelan. They have helped with our 2 yr old. Very easy read and simple to follow. The book can be purchased at most bookstores.

http://shopping.netsuite.com/s.nl/c.590970/sc.2/category.22/.f

Good luck.

2007-04-17 16:07:53 · answer #5 · answered by passiveaggressive 4 · 1 0

Get the book "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk." It will give you tremendous ideas on communicating respectfully with her in a way to ensures you and your husband are treated with respect, too.

It's really the most practical and helpful parenting book out there. You can read it for ten minutes in the bathroom and come out armed with ideas and a new approach!

2007-04-17 15:22:54 · answer #6 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1 1

She could be upset that a new baby is coming and she won't get all the attention anymore. I would sit her down and let her know that your going to treat her exactly the same. And your love and attention for her won't change even though a new baby is coming.

2007-04-17 15:22:37 · answer #7 · answered by Princess17 2 · 0 1

You know what, that doesnt sound bad at all, you and your husband are only human. I am going though something similar and i am at my wits end so i just ignoreit and when he comes up to me and yells and carrys on i say excuse me mum and eventualy when he says it i say yes darling, its starting to work,Hope this helps a bit,
Good luck

2007-04-17 17:34:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

just stay very consistent with time outs or whatever punishment you use. time out mean 2 min in the corner, if she gets out her time starts over. strap her in the high chair if needed.
be patient, they dont call it the terrible twos for nothin'
;-)

2007-04-17 15:20:58 · answer #9 · answered by jon jon's girl 5 · 1 1

you are a parent - let her know who is in charge! and dont ignore the bad behavior - there have to consequences to that.

2007-04-17 15:22:36 · answer #10 · answered by Natalie 7 · 1 0

fedest.com, questions and answers