okay, he's 56,bi-polar-not medicated and an alcoholic. he refuses to take any meds and admit to any "issues" he has.he can get very mean with his wife. mean is an understatement. he hit his first wife,i don't know about the current wife. he recently started remodeling a house that they plan on living in so the stress level is dangerously high. my sister in law has called and e-mailed me many times and told me about his behavior. i don't mind being a sounding board. i don't think she has anyone else to talk to(no family)and everyone needs to vent. and my bro really is an *sshole. i don't know if there is anything else i can or should do for her. i can't really advise her, i don't think it's my place. is there anything else i can do? say? thanks
2007-04-17 14:41:49 · 11 answers · asked by racer 51 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, you can have an intervention with him and tell him you are cutting off your relationship with him until he gets help from an alcohol abuse facility. Have a friend drive him to one where they lock him in until he deals with the problem. for encouragement, listen to ttb. org.
2007-04-17 14:46:36 · answer #1 · answered by stick man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, my first thought was to try to talk to your brother again, tell him that his wife is having problems with his behavior. I wouldn't really go into exactly what she said, you wouldn't want to break that confidence you guys have between each other. But tell him that things have got to change or his wife will leave him.
This whole situation seems like it can be a burdon to deal with...
Another suggestion would be to talk to them both together, maybe bring up something that he did that was wrong to her. This might get hairy, but hey, in order to fix a marriage, things must change.
If he refuses to change, maybe it's better off that his wife leaves him. Nobody needs to be married to an *sshole. Life is too short. If he refuses to change, it's better off she leaves him.
He seems like the type that will not cooperate with professional help. This seems like a very complicated situation, good luck with it.
2007-04-17 14:53:14 · answer #2 · answered by the_wun_hu_nose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been there, done that...my soon to be ex is the same way as your brother. Unfortunately, legally, unless he DOES something to her, there is nothing u can do. If he doesn't see a problem, then u r just running around in circles trying to get him to get some help. Sad but true. All I can say is don't enable his behavior. Tuff Love...and if something does happen, no matter how "insignificant" it may seem, call the police. Do not let him get away with ANY abusive behavior.
2007-04-17 14:51:55 · answer #3 · answered by chaninjo 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She needs to get professional help involved. You can't help her, and you really shouldn't (not to be mean, but you didn't marry him, and I assume you're not a psychiatric professional).
The best thing you can do is to leave your door open for her if things get violent...you can't change his behavior any more than she can, and her only solution in the end is to leave.
As his wife, she could stage an intervention...maybe recommend that? Something has to be done if anyone REALLY wants things to change...time won't heal this. It might get ugly, but could it be any uglier than it is now?
2007-04-17 14:46:18 · answer #4 · answered by lizs1602 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is to listen to her, but set your own boundaries. If she calls and you are busy or have other stuff to tend to, don't answer. Caller ID is pretty cool technology.
If you DO have evidence that he's being violent or abusive, you can always call the police or family services if you believe he's a danger to himself or his family. You can suggest to your sister in law when she calls to see a counselor or a therapist as well.
It IS your place to intervene when you see a dangerous situation, regardless of who is involved. Your brother sounds like he needs a reality check...needs meds and get off the liquor.
2007-04-17 14:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by keyz 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Theres no longer something you need to do. it is your dad and mom pastime to renowned this undesirable habit and both change into extra effectual dad and mom with extra effectual self-discipline or take him to a therapist. regrettably, if left unchecked, he maximum possibly received't advance out of it. nicely, each thing will tone down as he receives older, yet he will nonetheless be whiny, arrogant, spoiled mineded, and somewhat jerk.
2016-12-04 05:31:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is getting violent with her,even verbally she should get away from him. He is apparently very unstable and could really injure her if he gets out of control. There are shelters where she could go temporarily until he agrees to get some help with his alcohol and bipolar problems. If he continues to refuse to get treatment then she should stay away from him.
2007-04-17 14:49:02 · answer #7 · answered by Country girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she needs to get counseling,and get it quick. even if he doesnt want it,she still needs it. You are a wonderful sister in law to let her vent. Maybe ask her if she wants advice,then you can advise,if she says yes. Good luck and God bless to both of you
2007-04-17 14:47:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is your place. if you care about your brother or about his family then it is definitely your place. monitor the situation if he hits her now it can only get worst. you can't make him stop and you can't make her leave him but you can be there to make sure things don't get too out of hand.
2007-04-17 14:47:50 · answer #9 · answered by funny monkey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her if it was you, you would just leave the asshole. But she can do whatever she wants, the choice is hers.
2007-04-17 14:50:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋