What can you do to prevent self righteousness see instance below?

Question

I am on a high school reunion web site and my intentions to belong to this site were not godly. Some clasmmates were very cruel and mean to me.
To be quite frank I wanted to show my classmates how far I came and to prove them wrong that I can do anything they can do.

I wrote a hostile e-mail to one of my classmates that people who picked on me should be punished by God because they were mean. On the website I became very preachy in my words and basically "took over" the web site with my self rightouness because that is just what is was and someone called me out on this and e-mailed the class about it.

I became hurt and offended and even left the website to prove how mad I was this person and I were BOTH wrong.

I am now back on the website but feelings were hurt. How can I prevent being self righteous? What can I do to not take people so personal and to heart? What can I do to help people come to the Lord rather than turn them off to God?

Answer 1

Holy cow! Where to start.

A. It was High School, who cares?
B. Ever heard the phrase forgive & forget?
C. You're hardly setting an example of "Christianity."
D. It was High School, get over it and move on.

Answer 2

It sounds like you are dealing with two very different issues here...#1, your hurt feelings over the way you were treated in high school and #2, your desire to evangelize and bring people to God.

I would say you can't possibly do #2 until you have dealt properly with #1. It isn't easy, but you must forgive your classmates and resist the urge to make them realize how much they hurt you. If you must, write them a letter spilling your emotions and then burn it. Those are much healthier ways of dealing with your feelings. And you MUST forgive, you know that is what God would ask of you.

Once you have learned to forgive those who hurt you in the past, I think you will feel much closer to God. Then you must ask God to help you be less self-righteous, because you are right, there is no surer way to turn people OFF to God than to be preachy. True Christians NEVER use God as a weapon: "God should do this to you, God should do that to you." True Christians know God loves everyone, regardless of how horrible a person they are. That is a hard reality to come to grips with, but once you let go of your anger I think you will find it much easier to believe.

Once you have found inner peace and a relationship with God, you will be able to bring people to God simply by being a kind, generous, faith-filled person who is not filled with anger and self-righteousness. I wish you the best of luck!!

Answer 3

Hello,

It is a common human emotion to react to negativity from our past and lash out at the people we feel have done us some wrong. Remember WWJD (what would Jesus do) in cases like this we must remember the words the Master taught in his first sermon. (Matt.5:3-48 KJV). Forgive, seek forgiveness, and Love especially those who spiteful use you. to put it plainly the fork's who pick on you. There is one thing Christians and unbelievers have in common we are both sinners, and the grace of God is enough to cover us all.

To be truly great we must hummable ourselves. Let God be glorified in our keeping peace with all people. It takes a strong person to admit that they were wrong, but an even stronger person to apologize. Remember Love covered a multitude of sins. Jesus Loves you if we keep seeking him we will become more like him.

Answer 4

The key to fixing hurt feelings is to admit the role you played in the problem. Explain calmly how things others did affected you without resorting to bashing. Avoid words like 'always' or 'never' (as in 'you always do that') They are exaggerations and make people tune out. Develop a thicker skin by realizing that just as you have issues that caused your outbust, so do everyone else, and they're entitled to their opinion. Don't be afraid to say you're sorry, as though it would make you weak or an admission of being wrong. And if after all this people still act impolitely, calmly distance yourself from them without making a big deal about it.

Answer 5

Looks like you've made a start already, admitting that you went self righteous, Thats an important first step...
Ultimately, its humility of yourself, and trust in the Lord that you will be better off in the long run ...
Review the "beattitudes"... blessed are you when etc..
Remind yourself of what the Lord told us to do, forgive, do good even to those who upset you...
Even in secular politics, smear campaigns often really backfire against those who started trying to make you look bad, but if you had the strength to "take it" without dishing it back out, then you will look like a person of great character, your critics will look bad.
Let go and let God take care of it ! Don't jump into pride trying to take God's place thereby making yourself look worse than what your critics said against you. You have more power by forgiving...

Answer 6

Honestly? Whenever you type something, try to remember: will this hurt someone. If the comment will hurt someone, don't write it. The people who were mean back then were just kids: this time it was you acting like a bully.

Read a few books written by the Dalai Lama: they are quite good pieces of philosophy to deal with this kind of stuff.

Answer 7

in point of fact that some moves ARE more beneficial to different moves (giving to the needy is more beneficial to killing chance free beings etc.), despite the indisputable fact that the area is the position we interject this idea that "I" is something major. A man or woman doing a man or woman's interest isn't something particular. Fears are a manifestation of this perception: "I" am particular--Oh God, what if I stop being particular? What if "I" disappear? what is going to the global do? If no "I" then no self-righteousness because no self. If no "I" then no concern because there is no longer something to lose.

Answer 8

I am on this web site, AS A CHRISTIAN, to share the GOOD NEWS..... and ..... The BAD NEWS!

FIRST, the Good News...

(John 3:16-17) For God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

(John 3:17) For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but so that the world might be saved through Him.

AND...... NOW THE BAD NEWS.....!

(John 3:18) He who believes on Him is not condemned, but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only-begotten Son of God.

YOU JUST tell you 'friends that YOU are sharing Christ and His WORD.... With The Unbeliever and Believers .... Of the Planet.... "YAHOO!"

IF.... They don't get IT.... Too bad!

In Christ Jesus,
Roger R.

Answer 9

The first thing that you can do is humble yourself and admit to the people on the site that you were wrong and ask them to forgive you. Then you might tell them that when you were younger you felt hurt because you used to get your self esteem from what people thought about you but now you get your self esteem from being a child of God and that's why you want to apologize because what you did was wrong in your Heavenly Father's sight.

Romans 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be conceited. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." 20 To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Answer 10

I would say first of all, you have to forgive them. You may say they don't deserve your forgiveness, but who really does deserve forgiveness anyway? You were shown mercy and grace, now's your chance to extend it to others. You will never win anyone to Christ with an attitude like you're looking down your nose at them. So they deserve judgement, so do you and I. It's only by Gods grace that we have escaped it.I would say apologize to whomever may have been offended, and try to show grace to them, though it's not going to be easy now that you have offended them,"A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a citadel" (Prov.18:19). If you really want to win them to Christ, you are going to have to swallow your pride and be humble at all costs. If even one comes, it will be worth it.Blessings.

Answer 11

Why do you care what others think? Let alone people you went to high school with? You really should've expected that kind of reaction. what did you think they'd do? Honestly? The best advice to you would be, just get on with your life and be happy that you don't have to deal with those people on a daily basis any longer.