how do i mend a relationship with my son who lives with his dad new mom. My heart can't take much more?

Question

I admit I spent more time on the couch drinking than I did playing with my boy whom now is 12. I did still go out and play catch with him lots and watched all his sport games cheering from the sidelines. I went to all his school events, volunteered as a room mom etc.My husband divorced me because of my alcohol abuse. I am in treatment now. I call my son and his step mon says he does not want to talk to me then continues to hurl insults in such a cruel way. She even had my 83 year old dad that I live with because of his alzheimers crying!I have tried to reason with her through my tears that we need to talk and she just yells louder. I pray my boy is not able to hear her. Legally I have my boy on wednesdays plus my share of the holidays.Since to Christmases ago I have not seen my son. People tell me to get a lawyer but I have always been to emotional to stop my crying. I don't want my son seeing this mess.I write my son every week or so with no response. My x says he does receive them

Answer 1

You're going through some difficult times. It would be good to get some Godly counselling either w/ a pastor at your church or you can go to www.doersoftheword.org and the pastor there has a toll free # you can call. He can give you some good Godly advice & help you.
Another site that has a 24hr service to help you & give Godly advice is http://www.jesus2u.org/

It is always good to talk to someone when times are really tough.

Matt 19:26
Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

I pray the best!

Answer 2

First off, keep going to treatment for your alcohol abuse. It will improve your life greatly without all the problems going on. If you legally have your son on those days and he's not coming, you need to talk to a lawyer. His dad and step-mom have no right to prevent him from seeing you on those days because you do legally have him on those days. No matter how emotional you get, you need a day where you could talk to your son. When you are able to sit down with your son, tell him what's on your mind. If you want to mend your relationship with him, tell him that. If you've been improving with treatment, tell your son that if he already knows you are in treatment. Just tell him how you feel. It's a start to help fix your relationship.

Keep going with the treatment. If you can't do this for yourself, do it for your son. You're his mother, you're the most important person in his life. He would want you to be in his life more. Don't let alcoholism get in the way of your relationship with your son. I hope you succeed with the treatment, and I hope that everything goes well with your son.

Answer 3

You have a long road to ho now. But don't give up. You work to stay clean, write the boy each day in a journal. Remember his birthday, follow his accomplishments and praise them. Don't pressure to have a relationship. What you have destroyed will take quite sometime to mend. You need this time too to really get on your feet and take care of yourself. The day will come when you are alright and he will see it. He'll open the door just a little at first, until he feels he can trust you again. I do wish you all the best and most of all a loving relationship with your son. HUGS!

Answer 4

Alcohol is a power-full thing, it aides us in making some of the worst decisions a person can make in life, but yet it doesn't effect everyone the same way.

Alcoholism is a disease one that takes its toll on one physically mentally and emotionally, people that are alcoholics generally make choices in life with out thinking about the mess it makes of our loved ones lives.

The first thing that you need to do is admit that you are an alcoholic, all I hear is that you abuse alcohol. When I hear someone say I abuse alcohol, it sounds to me like as long as they are saying that rather than saying they are alcoholic they are still under the belief that they can one day drink again.

you did not destroy your relationship with your family over night it took years and it may take years to get that trust back, in the mean time you need to attend a lot of meetings, get a sponsor and take it one day at a time.

Answer 5

This is difficult, it seems you are being crossed off as a mother. You must of done some pritty bad things to get here. You are going to need to prove to them you have changed that you can act like a mother again and that you love your son.

But if you havent changed DONT do this, Otherwise you are just setting your son up for more heartake and you will end up hurting him emotionally + thats not good for many reasons.

I personally think you should seek help with this one, not like some shrink or anything like a family counciler. They can point you in the right direction to turn your life around.

Best of luck, hope things work out for u

Answer 6

I don't drink but i guess it's a matter of them being judgemental of you, sorry. You have to be strong, stop the drama. Get involved in a good church, take one step at a time. Forget the past and their comments. Learn a reality of life, other people's opinions of your past do not matter.
Learn self-confidence. With God all things are possible, you can turn your life around. If the court ordered your son to see you, you need to see a lawyer. He sounds hurt, he needs to do some growing up. Stand on your own 2 feet, do not play the victim.

Answer 7

well family counseling is always and option and that seems like the best thing

its a healthy and structured enviornment! and it can also offere many family plannings and activities things like that

im also encourage you to seek help first! so you can be together and he will pick up on that, the last thing a kid wants is to know that a parent is still ill or uncaring or something like that


god bless