I'm really shy around new people, Any tips on helping me with my first day at a new church?

Question

I JUST returned to the faith, (like less than a month ago) and my "church" has been in the comfort of my own home, reading the bible, praying, getting info and questions answered online, and inspiration from a few televised preachers such as joel olsten and gregory dickow. I want to be in a church enviornment but honestly i am afraid that i'll get scared away by some people who might come on a little strong and ask constant questions "oh whats your name?" "how come your here by yourself?" "what made you decide to come to our church?" Honestly it freaks me out. is it rude to keep quiet and to myself in church and not really socalize? or is there some tips anyone might have to help me not get scared and maybe be more "friendly"? thank you

oh i am going by myself because my dad, friends and boyfriend dont like church, my boyfriend said he would go, but i know that he doesnt believe. and im afraid of all the "so when are you getting married?" questions

oh and i would bring him with me if i thought he was going with an open heart, but we went to a church about a year ago and he told people he was a christian when he isnt just so he could fit in, and yeah, i dont really wanna deal with that again

Answer 1

Sometimes just talking to the paster after the service makes you feel more welcomed. He or she could give u some more information about the Church and introduce you to new people.

Answer 2

PurpleFlerple- Welcome home!! I commend you! Keep reading your Bible at home, on the bus, at work/school, at lunch, at dinner, at bed! He will become alive to you as His word enters your soul.

It's not bad to be cautious. There's a lot to be concerned for, if you are alone and seeking a good Bible-believing community of worshippers. It's okay to say "I'm just visiting", while you check them out.

I was in your place not so long ago. I had the same questions at that time. After a few years of seeking those answers, I think I can help you find the right church.

First: Pray!! Ask the Lord Jesus to guide you. Every church that worships Him, in Spirit and Truth (John 4:23-24), is known by Him (Revelation 2:1 - 3:13). He knows who the believers are that are walking with Him! So, first, ask Him! I have done this over the years ever since, whenever I have had to move to a new city. He always leads me.

Second: know that He has a place for you!! Yes, a place just for you; where you belong and will find the fellowship your heart desires. (1st Corinthians 12, especially 12:11).

Third: Be friendly! But, as a new believer, also be cautious. When you look for a church, one that has a "new believer's class" usually has a means of assisting you to make wise choices and connect with godly people. Beware of churches that don't have a new believer's class, they probably aren't doing anything to reach lost souls. Those folks get caught in dead orthodoxy and have no spiritual life in them. But, also be cautious against the cults - they're constantly proseletizing, but they have wandered from Truth. (Remember Jesus said "Spirit AND Truth").

Lastly: If you use the commendations of Revalation 2:1 - 3:22 you will see what Jesus values in a church and what he HATES. Beware of worldly churches where the preaching is focused on materialism and money. (See Rev 3:14-19). They're the ones He's going to spit out.

God bless you, and keep seeking Him first in all things. He will guide you, even if you make mistakes. He loves you and is going to keep you in His perfect peace.

Answer 3

First off, don't assume that a church is going to act in a way that you saw a church act in the past. You may not ever get people that ask questions like the ones you said above. I wouldn't say it's rude to keep to yourself in church, but church is also for fellowship. These people WANT to get to know you. I go to church with my boyfriend. I've only had one person ask about marriage because it had to do with the conversation. No one asked me what brought me to the church or anything like that. Every church is different, but know that because you are new, someone is going to realize that and introduce themselves to you. Go talk to the pastor after the service and introduce yourself. At the very least, make an effort to know the pastor.

Sometimes it is a little scary going to a new church, but give it a try before you run off. Before you go, pray to God to give you a calm heart and a calm peaceful spirit. Ask him to help you with your anxiety. If you are a shy person, then being in a new place is going to be a little scary. Give it a few weeks, allow yourself a CHANCE to get comfortable with these people. It may take you a month, but give it a try. What can trying hurt, you know? I just started going to a new church myself with my boyfriend. That first couple of weeks were a little scary, but I LOVE it!

Answer 4

My advice is to be yourself and remember you went there for God first, otherwise you would have gone to a disco or a pub. In my Orthodox church is not rude to keep quiet and to yourself, that is the rule! Silence in the house of God (apart from the moments of singing and praying together) and all your thoughts directed to the service. Of course, after the service people may want to talk to you and it is good you anticipate their questions, that makes you stronger and helps you prepare some answers. Just be sincere, share your feelings as a first time comer and also talk to the priest - it helps a lot. Generally, people in all churches all kind and welcoming, do not be afraid of meeting them. They are just like you and may even feel the same:) about you.

Answer 5

Take someone with you, someone you can fall back on. Maybe try going up to someone and starting a conversation. Turn it around... ask them how long they have been going to the church, ask them their name. Ask them if they are here with anyone and would they mind introducing you to others.
The person that said your going for God was half right. God is most important... but you could worship God at home. The reason to meet is in the following scripture:

Heb 10:24 "And let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, 25 not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom, but encouraging one another, and all the more so as you behold the day drawing near."

So you being there will encourage others and you will become encouraged as well.
Luv you girl. Do what is right for you.

Answer 6

Many people at fellowships get accused of not being friendly enough so they reach out trying to do the right thing and serve GOD. They are usually as uncomfortable as you are. They do care weather you live or die and that is a great deal better then any place else. Once they know you are really just shy then they will in turn protect you when other people ask about you. We're family sis.
May the Lord richly bless you

Answer 7

When I visit churches that are unfamiliar to me, I often arrive quite early and strike up a conversation with someone (or let them start a conversation with me, if I'm feeling a bit shy). The people who are there early are often involved with the services (minister, music director, Sunday School teacher or that sort of thing). I'll tell them that I'm visiting for the first time, and they're usually extremely friendly. They'll show you around the church, give you a welcome packet, introduce you to other members, tell you a bit about the church's history, invite you to sit with them during the service, or just chat with you over coffee. By the time the service starts, you'll already feel like you know a few people.

Answer 8

Walk in with a smile, as hard as that may be. Vineyard Churches are typically very welcoming, and won't make you feel weirded out. A good idea would be to find a group..maybe singles group, or a Bible study group within the church with people the same age as you. You'll have a ton of friends in no time. God bless!!!

Answer 9

It is hard when you are a shy person,just try to realize they are just being kind,and trying to love you.Maybe if you sit in the back for a time,but I think God want you to come out a little.You most likely have so much to offer others,God will want to use you.You are just as wonderful as everyone else.Maybe just pray and ask for God to give you strength in this area,sometimes there are reasons people are so shy.Sometimes its fear of man,God wants you free,if that is the case.Maybe that is not the case at all.I do know this you cannot help anyone else if you remain in a shell.I hope I'm not sounding hard,I just want you to have all God wants.Its OK to be nervous,just remember we are all made of the same insecurities,others may feel just the way you do.God bless you

Answer 10

At the worship meetings that I attend, there are so many people that most of them just say hello. I like to be involved in the small groups that we have in each others homes. This way it is less scary and I find that I meet people with the same issues that I have. We care about and help each other.

Go ahead and take your boyfriend. Don't worry about what he says. Say a private prayer for him before you go. This is a good place for a non Christian to go. He just might like it.

Answer 11

First of all I wanted to point out that I was born on Feb 22, the same day you became a member. Not that it matters but I just wanted to point that out. Second, even though I'm an atheist I can relate to your situation because it's hard to fit in to a group of people that you absolutely have no idea on who they are, what's their names, and what their point of view is on the topic of the group discussion (in your case, religion). You have to be bold and make the first move on introducing yourself or else everybody will have some sort of a biased opinion about you without even knowing who you are.