how to deal with a neighbor I dislike?

Question

I have a neighbor across the street that I cannot stand. She is clueless and has no social skills at all. She's actually disliked throughout the neighborhood -- it's not just me. The only reason I speak to her at all is because our kids sometimes play together and she's at the school bus stop with her kids too. She has been asking me to lunch since October and I've been OK at avoiding it so far. She even dropped it for a while and I thought it matter was dropped. Now she's asking again and I'm at my wits end.

What can I do to get the message to a clueless person?

I need to somehow keep the peace and get her to leave me alone.

I'd like to add that I have known her for 4 years. I realize that she does not have many friends. I have tried reaching out to her in little ways but I always end up sorry that I do.

There is just something about her that makes me crazy. I'm not saying she is a bad person or anything. I just can't stand the woman. She never leaves me alone, even if I I tell her I'm busy and I really need to finish what I'm doing. She keeps trying to get me to go to her church even though I've repeatedly told her I'm happy where I am. I've seen her pick plastic serving pieces out of a garbage can to reuse . She invited a bunch of neighbors to a super bowl party then made us be quiet after half time so she could put her kids to bed. She speaks in a foreign language half of the time and can't find the right words even though she's a native English speaker. She's obsessive about every bite of food that goes in her kids mouths. She shop-vacced the cracks in her driveway.

She's just off...

Answer 1

You know what? Be nice. Maybe all she wants is a friend. She's reaching out to you and trying to come out of her shell so you might as well help her. Go to lunch with her.... you might become good friends.

And I mean if you find out she's just too weird for you, tell her your a busy girl and need time to do your taxes idk. She'll take the hint.

Answer 2

What is the reason of your dislike? Is it because she is clueless?
If so, you could out of a sense of compassion for a fellow human being befriend her and steer her into the right direction regarding social skills. You don't need to become buddies but obviously this person is lonely and is calling out.
Has she ever done anything to your personally?
If your children can be friends, so can you. Here is your chance to make a friend out of a potential enemy.

Answer 3

Tell her the truth ~ As she most likely already knows the feelings people have her~ you think as you make excuses for not wanting to hang out for lunch or morning coffee she doesn't have a clue!!
or if you want> try to find one thing you like about her~ go to lunch laugh and make a new friend!! no one has too many friends!! and if she comes over to much let her know!! Be Honest~ try it !! it works!!

Answer 4

Tell her your a busy woman, that work (if you work) consumes alot of time, that you will let her know when a good time is to go.
Otherwise, keep going the way you are going, there isn't a real way to escape this, your living across the street. It would be a different story if she lived further.

Answer 5

how about just trying it out one night?
what is she doing or not doing that has you disliking her?
get to know her a little bit.

Edit: Saw your additional details. It sounds as if you've been patient for four years. I would have to say its time for the hard truth. Let her know. The only thing is it may affect your kids playing with her kids. Try to be tactful. Good luck!

Answer 6

Do your best to with draw from the relationship at all times as possible as tackfully as you can, If she is unable to come to the conculsion on her own , That you are kind, but not interested in commitment's due your on --- Good Luck

Answer 7

Just tell her you have a very busy schedule and you really can't do lunch don't add today or this week just leave it like you are allways busy