why is it that my friend never notices any girls looking at him even when it is obvious?

Question

I just dont understand this at all.

My friend never ever, ever, ever seems to notice the girls looking at him even when it is so obvious a blind man could see it from a mile away.

This same friend is always crying that he is lonly and that everyone has good realtionships and that he wants the same as everyone else has but he just never notices the girls

(and in case you say he is gay he never notices the boys either, and yes they look)

What is wrong with him? Sometimes I think he isnt human - Just a few days ago we were all out together and we stopped for lunch and the girl in the MacDonalds was trying her hardest to chat him up and he just did not realize she was interested and later on when we all said what she had been doing he was like do you think it is too late to go back.

What is wrong with him? how can we help him, we have all been friends since highschool and it is killing us to see him like this

Answer 1

He might be dealing with some emotion that he hasn't healed from. The girls that notice him are not catching his eye in his mind he already has pictured what he is looking for. There are certain looks that he might be in search for and it's becoming frustrated by it if this is the case he will just have to stop being picky. Simply the ones who are noticing him are not his type I bet you if one walks in and it's totally what he has in mind if he's lucky he will get notice but depressed if he doesn't. He will question why?. You have to get to the bottom of it ask him the kind of girl he likes what interest him in a women ask him who he liked in school. Get the year book and point at all the girls you think he might like then ask what he thinks just to have an idea what he is after. Ask him if he had a girlfriend what movie star will he compare her to then ones he tells you you'll know what hes looking for. If you suspect he is being picky about it then you have to tell him that looks shouldn't matter it's the persons personality.
good luck with him but there is always someone for him if he doesn't give it an opportunity that could have been a possibility blown away. If it's insecurity issue let him know there is hope and help with the fixing and tell him he is worth being loved. Do more encouraging and help with his self esteem and let him know his friendship means allot to you.
Good luck!

Answer 2

oh boy.. if he cant even notice them how could he possibly even keep the relationship going. I am more worried that he is bit of an intravert or just plain does not have the social skills to deal with girls. Girls are outgoing and liked to be flattered. Most like chatty guys that listen to them. Without putting him down cause I am sure his ego is taking a beating. Ask him if he would like more direct comments even if it not with him. Maybe he could use some actual situations but from you guys rather than it being him in the spotlight. Like lets say, its you being eyed by a girl. Point this out to him. I know it sounds silly but maybe this will help. Small steps to build up his esteem then work from there. Maybe online chatting will help too, less threatening for him.

Answer 3

Guy's can be a bit funny this way, especially if they're modest. Not all men are arrogant piece-of-*** seeking fiends. Some are actually quite nice. Take my fiance for example: he's Italian (dark curls, gorgeous dark eyes and perfect olive skin with a nice body) and he seems to overlook when ever he is checked out but tends to notice men taking a peek at me. He gets protective and never actually realizes that, when we're out, he gets just as much attention. At times he seems to develop a “I'm not good looking enough for you” complex and cannot be convinced otherwise. Perhaps it's the same sort of thing with your friend. Maybe he ignores the attention he receives under the pretense that he doesn't think he's good enough to receive it in the first place.

Answer 4

He is suffering from the blindness of his own self pitty. He's too busy being depressed and lonely and ISN'T WILLING to do anything about it yet. He is too jealous of others and too busy watching all the happy people and being miserable to notice. The only thing you can do for him is try to get his mind off himself and his problems and don't allow him to wallow in his "pitty me" oh woe to me mode when he is in your presence. No one wants to be around a depressed person at a party but misery does love company doesn't it? So if you and all of his friends refuse to be part of his misery pitty party then he will have no choice but to either find new friends to feel sorry for him or drop the pitty and pick up where he left his happiness and go on with his life.

Answer 5

If he's just genuinely blind to girls checking him out, why not set up a code word for him, so when you guys say it, he knows a girl is interested and that he needs to start paying attention?

But to me, it sounds like he's happy being unhappy. I have a friend who is EXACTLY like this. She will go out of her way to sabotage any sort of potential relationship and then whines about how unhappy she is being single. We once convinced her to ask this guy she'd liked for FIVE years out and he said yes (turns out he'd liked her for even longer), and then she did everything she possibly could to make him unhappy and miserable (including telling him that she was cheating on him, even though she wasn't, avoiding his phone calls, calling him names), until he broke up with her. And then the pity party started again: "Waaah! See, I don't have a boyfriend! No boy likes me! They all hate me! Why can't I find a boy to love me? Waaah!"

I don't think you can change the way he looks at the world. My friend is now in a relationship with a married man, and seems quite happy to whine about how he won't leave his wife for her (and yet, if he mentions such things, she gets her back up).

Answer 6

Maybe he is so caught up in trying to stop being lonely that he can not see what is first in front of his face. Tell him since he can not see for himself, you will help him by giving him a nudge or any hint you can give each other without being too obvious...and the next time when you notice yourself a girl is checking him out, give him a nudge here or there..the hint that he should go ahead and go for it.

Answer 7

Wow, I didn't know that happened to guys. Do you think , perhaps, that he has low self esteem, and just finds it hard to believe that these girls could be interested? If so, maybe you could be a pal, and kind of flirt for him with these girls. When a girl is trying to "chat him up," maybe you could say something like..."would you like to go out with him?" or "why don't you give him your phone number?" Try it, it couldn't hurt.

Answer 8

Well what I think you should do is when you see a girl that looks interested in him whisper in his ear and tell him to look back and smile say something like"Hey whatever-your-friends-name-is there is a girl looking at you I think she's interested go take a shot.And if he doesn't do nothing try 1 more time then just give up

Answer 9

Could it be that he reluctant to speak to them out of a shyness or he may be holding back from a fear that he could be rejected. You may know him but there is a part of everyone that is hidden and unless they tell you. How is he around girls you both know? Maybe you have to get him a blind date? Just don't give up on him, He may need you pushing a little.

Answer 10

he needs elbows to the rib and a whisper when girls are flirting. I am the same way. If I find a girl attractrive, I wouldn't know she liked me unless she wrote it on paper and had it notarized. I don't know why I am that way and he prolly doesn't either. But a good buddy will nudge him a bit when it happens.