Why am I like this?

Question

Everytime a potential boyfriend calls me, I get scared or nervous for some odd reason... I am perfectly fine when it comes to talking with my guy friends on the phone, or with guys who I know I have no future with, so WHY can't I talk with guys that I like and want to get to know? It doesn't make sense and it bothers me! I need some advice!

Answer 1

So,in short ,You are shy.

Tired of being the shy person in the back of the crowd? Become the center of attention at an easy, personalized pace!
Steps

1. Build your self confidence. Often, being shy is a result of feeling inferior to or otherwise "less than" other people. A positive self-image is the key to overcoming shyness.
2. Set goals for yourself. Focus on small, daily goals, and gradually become more daring.
3. Make new friends. Introduce yourself to new people each day. Talk to someone you normally wouldn't. Try to find people with your own interest and find excuses to talk to them. Start a conversation with something like a simple compliment such as ,"Hey! I love that shirt!" or "Cool shoes." Most people are nice and will be welcoming to your advances. It is also great practice for more daring behavior, such as talking to popular, charismatic people.
4. Hold close bonds with your friends, as they can be there for you when you crack out of the shell! They'll be glad to help.
5. Try doing stuff you never dreamed you would.
6. Laugh often, at your own jokes and those of others. It will help ease any tension you may be feeling.
7. Make a list of things that make you feel shy that you want to try and work on. Order them so that those things that cause you the least anxiety are first and those that cause you the most anxiety are last. Once you have a list of 10-15 stressful situations, start working through them, one-by-one. The first few "easier" situations will help build your confidence so that you can continue moving to more difficult situations on your list. Don't worry if you have to go backwards on the list sometimes -- take it at your own pace but make an effort to push yourself.
8. Lie on your bed and take 3 deep breaths. Then visualize a situation where you might be shy. Now in that situation make yourself confident. Do this for as many situations as you can think of. Do this daily, especially in the morning.
9. Repeat positive affirmations using I statements. "I am a wonderful person." "I am a good looking person." Do it even if you don't believe it. Do it daily.


Tips

* There's nothing wrong with being shy, but there's nothing wrong with being outgoing either!
* Shyness is sometimes seen as classy.
* Don't be afraid to seek professional help -- group counseling, individual counseling, and therapy can help you along the way.


Warnings

* If you were known for being shy amongst family members and friends, watch out for the harmless teasing. Some may be uncomfortable with you existing outside the category they've put you in, in their own minds. Ignore them. They mean well. But don't let them scare you back into your shell!

Answer 2

You see I have the opposite problem all my young years, no man could ever really make me nervous or excited romantically upon meeting or talking to him. Guys are just usually even very attractive ones--- just people with motivations setting them in motion--to me. And I didn't have their hormonal drive so I'd just mostly be bothered if they didn't get to the point fast. You are driven by some unrealistic inexperience, and or stupid notions.--- So, he wants to get to know you, and he will talk and smile till you say yes or no. Then he will want to kiss, then you can tell him the rest if your in control, or face his wild hands roving! Its always the same. Boring--but some are funny and when you laugh and have a good time--hey marry that one!

Answer 3

Don't worry...Its means your normal. All girls go through that same situation one time or another... Just try to pretend that he is just one of your guy friends...i know thats hard because you tend to get too self consious and afraid to say something he may not like, but just try. Just be yourself when you talk to him. And if he asks you out, go for it! Don't be scared. Put on that nice little dress and make it a date he'll never forget. Show him you are a confident, young lady.

Answer 4

That's funny, you see certain ones as potentials...and they make you nervous...your afraid of rejection and yet your nervousness is what is going to end something before it even begins...men want a strong women who can speak up for herself...it allows us to know exactly who we are dealing with and make decisions the include you because we know where you stand...but for those potential keepers in your life...your being just the opposite...be yourself, be more confident.

Answer 5

lol, don't worry! Everyone gets nervous and freaks out when their crush starts to talk to them. Just try to keep building up you're friendship/relationship until you are more comfortable together. Find out some stuff about him to ask about, talk about other people, ask about homework, gossip even! The more interaction you have, the more confidence you'll have!

If Bridget Jones and Mark Darcy can do it, so can you ;)

ok, sry, had to throw that it....good luck !!

Answer 6

The heart does weird things - you need to accept one date just to get over the shock. Even if you have to record you saying "OK" and play it back into the phone. After the first time, it's easy.

Answer 7

This is totally normal! It might get a little easier as you get older and more experienced, but this will always happen to some extent. Take it as a sign you're alive and can have feelings for people. Try to enjoy it!! :-)

Answer 8

it's because you are afraid of the real you. You connect with those you don't fear judgment from, but when it comes to more important people, you shut yourself off. First decide whether or not he's worth the real you, then open up. The worst you'd be losing would be a loser himself!

Answer 9

This happens to me too... see i just gather all my courage to say something and i act like hes just a regular guy friend but there are thoose guy that just dont talk often thoose guy i cant get to open

Answer 10

as hard as it might sound, dont expect anything out of them. when you talk to them, talk as a friend. and nothing more..then its up to them to take the conversation to a better level for you...when you dont seem that interested it makes the guy push his own boundry to come to you. (usually)