My husband and I have had a tough time for the last 20 yrs. Three separations, once before the kids and two after. In the last while, I realized that I don't love him anymore. I say it, but I don't mean it. We are together for the kids. Last year I threatened to leave him if he didn't get a job. He got a job, but he hates it and is always looking for another one. We don't do anything together, we don't go anywhere together, we don't even sleep in the same bed. We don't like the same tv shows or listen to the same music. He says I'm selfish if I want to do something I want, but he doesn't want to do anything with me. We hardly have sex anymore, not that I don't try. I'm tired of being in a non-relationship. I'm not interested in another man. That's not what this is about. Do you think it's time for me to move on?
My kids are 14 & almost 16, they'll survive.
2007-04-17 11:31:43 · 13 answers · asked by katie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How good will it be for my kids if I were to stay with my husband? Is it really good for them to hear bickering all the time? That's not really a positive role model for them. They need to understand that life is about being happy. We weren't put on this earth to live a life of misery. They also need to know that it takes 2 to have a relationship, that there is give and take, marriage should be a partnership. My kids are important to me and they are at the age where they can understand.
2007-04-18 03:32:21 · update #1
the fact that you had to threaten to leave to get him employed, is a Goodyear blimp sized red flag. you do the kids no favors by showcasing an inadequate male role model. i say hand the dude his walking papers.
2007-04-17 11:51:12 · answer #1 · answered by billy2005 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through a divorce after 22 years of marriage. We were even closer after the divorce. He would tell me the things he would of done differently had I stayed with him, he helped me through all my worst and best times. We lost a son together and a still born. He passed away 1 year ago the 28th of this month. Divorce, I wished I never did that to him now, and all I do every day since is regret what I did. If you do decide to get divorced, just make sure that you have the closure you need to go on with life without him. That way, if anything should happen, and I truly pray that it don't, you can go on with life. I just know how I feel today.
2007-04-17 11:58:33 · answer #2 · answered by stormey_84074 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Strange contradiction that you say you don't have sex MUCH anymore. If you are really in a bad marriage, then there is no sex. In my opinion, you should really think about YOUR future. If you can survive on your own then yes, it's time to move on. You don't have to start dating right away, just go out with the girls and relax and have some much needed "you" time. If you are sure this is what you want then there is no regrets about your decision to divorce. Good luck
2007-04-17 11:40:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you do this now, you will regret it.
Your kids are at a tough age. The last thing they need now is parents splitting up.
Wait till your kids are 18. It will still be hard for them then, but not as much as now.
You might also think about counselling in the meantime.
I went through this as a child and then my own children went through it, but I waited till my youngest was 18 even though I was aware my wife was seeing another man. By waiting I kept the respect of my children.
2007-04-17 12:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by Toeless_Joe_Jackson 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could no longer, incredibly if she's no longer waiting for a divorce. If it incredibly is something you honestly need and you have tried each and every thing to make it artwork then document for a divorce. do no longer do it mutually as you reside mutually nevertheless. each and every marriage has it up's and down's yet purely you on your coronary heart can tell if the marriage is long previous. the biggest issue I honestly have seen with those that sense like i pick a divorce is they say i attempted to make it artwork yet they have not been to counseling, they do no longer talk to a minimum of one yet another, and one if no longer the two are cheating or questioning approximately it. Honey marriage does not have an handbook besides the incontrovertible fact that it does have a excursion handbook and thats your coronary heart. you pick a divorce then do no longer purely spring it on her. in case you could no longer talk approximately saving the marriage in a civilized manor then a minimum of talk approximately ending it in one. incredibly in case you have infants. in case you could no longer check along with her then document for a divorce yet no longer once you reside mutually. It takes 2 to argue so if there is just one engaged in it then that flame will die. do no longer gas the fire in case you could desire to stay.
2016-12-26 12:02:08 · answer #5 · answered by lockey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're the only one who can answer that. No one else is going to have the insight to make that decision for you.
The only thing I'll say is, you're never really "ready" for divorce. It's always more painful/difficult than you're expecting. Heck, I have a friend whose divorce was quick, easy and painless..and she was in tears because he didn't care enough to put up a fight over anything.
It'll be harder on the kids then you're anticipating. They will survive, but it's always hard on them. So, be prepped for that one.
Good luck! Whatever you decide, do it with grace, courage, and resolve.
2007-04-17 11:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by Kaia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is really no one who can answer that question but you. You really need to dig deep into yourself to figure out what you want out of life. You said " I realized that I don't love him anymore. I say it but I don't mean it" If you really don't mean it then you need to work at things. Have you tried some counselling. It could help
Good luck
2007-04-17 12:23:01 · answer #7 · answered by trussgoddess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely, they will survive, what a shame that we adults don´t know how to deal it and stick together nomatterwhat. I am divorced man since 8 years ago, my kids survive, but is hard for all, no one win, all lose....
from mexico
2007-04-17 11:44:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out Get out Get out of this relationship you will thank me later. Lets just say Ive been their and done that and I got out now everything couldn't be better and that is making a long story short.
2007-04-17 11:36:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With you having to tell him to get a job, that would be enough to make any woman want to leave. What took you so long to want to end this?
2007-04-17 11:37:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋