Im in need of help?

Question

Im so stuck in my life at the moment. My parents never really loved or cared about me. I moved away from them when i was 15 to live with my then boyfriend. I thought i would be with him forever, he ended up being abusive and i ended up getting into a very controlling realationship. I had an abortion at 16 on xmas eve which i will never get over. We broke up on valentines day this year. I currently with my nan who drives me insane! I can honestly i have neverfelt so alone in my life, any guy doesnt compare with my ex i just dont know where my life is going all i seem do is wake up. go to work, sleepand do it all over again i do have friends but they all have boyfriends which make me depressed i just feel really low and have lost all my confidence i just dont know what do with myself any more. I want to meet someone but i dont know if this is the time for me to do so how could i begin to think of lovingsomeone else when i dont love myself? Any advice would be great.

Ok, well as someone was saying life is like a rollercoaster well just an update tonight ivecrye for the irst time over everythink a real good cry 2 let it all out. But the dreaded ex phoned, Theres talk of us getting back together i do really miss him and i know its a really bad stupid idea that will never work but why am i having second thoughts i was so attached to him and no matter what i do i cant stop thinking about him. Iam in a bit of a pickle.

Answer 1

It sounds like you feel you have no meaning in your life. What if you thought about what was important to you - feeding the homeless, helping abused women, caring for children, seeing the world, saving the environment, whatever - and chose a career that would let you do that? Then looked into how you could get the training you need? There are lots of places out there that can help someone who has been through what you have. Your local community college can help you with career advice even if you aren't a student there.
It would be tough to do, but I think if you felt a sense of purpose, and that you were working toward something valuable, you would feel a lot better.
Remember, you are valuable right now, without changing a thing. You have a lot to give, and you will feel better when you find a way to give it.
I'm sending good thoughts your way!

Answer 2

You have had such a bad experiance at so a young age, but please dont let this put you off life. you probually loved your boyfriend but should now be glad you are rid of him, there is nothing you can do about the abortion and only time will heal, it was by the sounds of things the best thing for you to do at that time. You should use this time to get to know ur self now, if you move into another relationship right now it will be for the wrong reasons. there are places where you can go to help build your confidence up and help you to find out what it is you want from life. you should learn from these lessons and make a fresh start, you were strong enough to come out of the relationship so make all that you have gone through at least worth while and turn it into something positive, find new places to go meet new people, you can do this you have the rest of your life to live if you choose to sit and dwell on these problems you will be letting your self down, life is what you make it and if you choose to have a good one it can happen. if you are feeling down or low seek advice from the samaritans over the phone it really does help to have someone listen. i am not just blagging you i have been through so much more than you could imagine but this made me and i now have a job helping people like ur self (us) to make something positive,, give it a go u can do it.. best of luck in YOUR Future..

Answer 3

See if the clinic where you had the abortion has any counseling because that might help you deal with it. You need some counseling to help you feel better about yourself. You say you work maybe you should look for a different job if you don't love what you do or go to school at night if you have the time. It will expose you to different things that might give you a new start and more confidence. Don't beat yourself up because you were young and in love and someone took advantage of that. You will be smarter next time and will find someone better it will take time and if you have only been apart since valentines day that isn't very long give it time to get over him and to start looking for someone else.

Answer 4

I'd suggest get off the internet and figure your life out. I think the first thing you need to do is make amends with your parents. They may not seem like they love you and care for you, but deep down, parents do. They will take you back no matter what happened. Your family will always accept you. If your parents don't, your grandparents or aunt or uncle will. Family is number one. They'll shelter you and let you figure out what has to happen.

You also need to accept yourself. You feel bad about stuff in the past, but you have to let it go. It happened, and you've learned? and grown from that experience. Don't have unprotected sex again. You need to not worry about meeting someone for the rest of your life. You're young and you have to deal with yourself first. No one can love you until you love yourself fully. You are not your relationship. If you don't have a boyfriend, it's better than okay, it's great. You are strong and can do this alone.

Once you figure you out, go think about finding someone. Have friends before you get serious with someone. You have your entire life to find someone special, don't rush it.

Good luck.

Answer 5

1st and foremost, dont ever let anyone control or abuse you. You are better than that! And if you are not over the abortion, there are help lines/crisis centers that have people you can talk to. A lot of towns have lower income dr's who you pay on a sliding scale. Like if say you only make 15,000/year you pay like 10 dollars per visit. You could possibly have depression from the abortion.......I think you are absolutely correct and I dont think you should try to jump into another relationship until you get yourself straightened out. Try one of the crisis centers or help lines and they could probably tell you of dr's in your area or maybe just talking to someone "voice to voice" will be a great help in itself- Good Luck and all the best for you!

Answer 6

i am sorry you had such a hard time, keep in mind u are still young and life will change....u do love yourself u just need to remember how, take care of your health, take every chance to do something u enjoy, even going out with friends & their dates- it can be a good way to meet someone new but take care of yourself first- you're still young and there's time to be happy, it's ok and normal to hurt but don't let it consume u cuz that will make it harder to move on- if you're 16, 17 now take classes and find what things get u excited for the future, u need to start believing it gets better cuz trust me it does....i've been in an abusive relationship & a few rough situations but i'm still here-- i have confidence in u to make yourself see it was just bad experiences and don't let it break u down..... u can email me if u ever want to talk, best wishes sweety

Answer 7

Well..what has happened..cannot be changed.

u have to start fresh, give new thinking and a new attitude towards ur life. Here is couple of things u can do, chnage ur life style, go out more often, go for a trip, collect money ofcourse, do some adventurous of sporty things, meet and make new friends, do NOT get into relationships...just change ur life style.
Once u r happy and confident in urself, then think of liking or loving someone...u hav to take a lot of time in getting into relationships...atleast knw aperson for few months and then be good friends and then close friends..n then decide to b with them or not..

make sure u change ur attitude towards ur life and then search for relationship or get into one. Best is to regain ur life back. Do whtever makes u feel happy..try changing ur mind. Read, write dance or do sports. Once ur satisfied with urself, confident in urself and feel u hav achieved full control of ur life and can mould it the way u want. Then carry on..Dont rely on others to make u feel better..its u who can change things..

Life is 10% how u make it and 90% how u take it!!!

Answer 8

well, hmmm, tough one, well if your still in highschool you could talk with your guidence counselor, Talk to your friends about a girls night movies and dinner, or a hangout at one of your houses, you right you dont need a boyfriend, you need more you time to think about what is most important to you out of life, what you want, what makes you happy, i dont know if this is an option for you but if you are willing to take on the responsibility may be a dog could be an option, one from an animal rescue that has been caught up on shots and neutered, pets can definatly fill voids in people they are great loyal companions, you could walk with him play with him have someone to cuddle with , or a cat. I dont know, just options, Maybe one of these may work for you. Sorry about your slump and we all get in them sometimes so try not to stress out about it too much. Good Luck!

Answer 9

You put your finger right on it. Learn to love and accept yourself, as you are, without judgment. You are perfect just as you are. You are in the exact place and doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing at this minute. Would you like to change. Do it. What is it about your life you don't enjoy? Make a list. Start with one thing. Change it. Then go to another. Change it. Keep doing this until you enjoy the direction your life is moving. You can accept yourself, remember how great and wonderful you really are. It is your option how you choose to view your life...so choose the right way. Good luck.

Answer 10

There is no way you can love someone else without loving yourself first. I know what you are going thru but you must keep moving forward. A therapist is a good idea. They listen to your problems but are not directly involved in your life. They are there to help and comfort, which it seems you need right now. The main thing to do is not blame yourself for the abuse you have endured. There are pigs out there who claim to be men, but they aren't. They are scum, and you must learn to tell the difference between men and pigs. I hope this helps, sweetie! Take care!