Dated a woman for 14 mos.-Were friends for yrs-Older brother s3xually abused her during childhood. She’s 45 & lives at home (where the abuse took place) with her mom-in same room she had when she was 9. She’s attractive, had abusive relationships, but no friends. She has plenty of $ and could easily move out. As we dated, she would get weird—accusing me of saying things that are s3xually inappropriate. I never tried to do this, & we NEVER HAD S3X. I actually liked her. I was always sensitive about the abuse, but she has called me names, hit me & been emotionally abusive. After 14 mos., I decided to bring this up. When I tried, she lost it & accused me of s3xually inappropriate behavior 0VER 1 YR AGO. She even accused me of being s3xually inappropriate around her niece-24 & dating a meth addict. Only been around niece 2X. Anyway, she stopped talking in Jan.-crossed paths with her 2X since. She was uncomfortable-acting like she would like to talk, but I’m nervous. Hey, I tried.
2007-04-17 09:52:24 · 14 answers · asked by dantiuspalaptine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are that good of a person then don't dwell because it's her lost and that thought will hit her one day too late. Instead of trying to help herself so she'd have a better quality of life she chooses to keep re-living her pain and that will lead to self destruction or worse. Some times we have to open our eyes wide and admit that you can't have or fix everything. She uses her suffering like a brick wall to protect herself but there are other factors. Maybe you'd feel better if you just spoke to her in general (you know, Hi! how you doin? etc..) Don't attempt to be personal with her. When you change your behavior towards someone they tend to wake up and see!
2007-04-17 10:02:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did your friend ever get any help? She was a victim and needs it to overcome her insecurities and get on with her life. If she did get help she needs more. The emotional problems have not been addressed and sounds like she is a ticking time bomb. I feel for you as your in a ruff place, keep being her friend if she will allow it but don't get your hopes up for anything else because she truly is not relationship material until she gets her self straight. No one deserves to be hit upon male or female they call that an abusive relationship. You do not need that. She has been abused and now she is the abuser. When they say kids who were abused at childhood usually grow up to be abusive them selves it all so holds true on the sexually abused child. Even though she is 45 she is very very insecure. Good luck.
2007-04-17 10:05:51 · answer #2 · answered by mellow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no count how good you're, or how good you have been to him, there ought to be an charm that is going the two techniques. until eventually there's a sparkling guy on your existence and on your heart, that's going to be very no longer straight forward to be pals including your ex. yet evaluate this: you're actually not the 1st woman who grew to become into dumped as quickly as the guy had a good job and extra threat than grew to become into there in the previous. think of of ways it would sense for those women human beings who placed a guy by using college (ie. regulation college) and he dumps them as quickly as he's graduated. i'm useful the placement will no longer be able to be good for your self-properly worth. What you may desire to do is settle for that whether he regrets his cutting-edge possibilities later or no longer, interior the right here and now it isn't the properly suited guy for you! Get obtainable and initiate doing issues which will help rebuild your self-properly worth. the subsequent guy you love could make an completely diverse option to what this guy made. Have some faith in what the destiny has to furnish! each and every of the suitable,
2016-12-29 05:07:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! 14 months of that? I barely got through 2 months of that without goin VTU on somebody.
Girls like that are liars and drama queens. They live for hype, however they can get it. I wouldn't be too surprised if the abuse stuff was made up for affect.
Will she regret missing out on you- Not likely. That type doesn't dwell in the past much. She'll be looking for her next toy shortly(if she didn't already have one on the line)
2007-04-17 10:00:19 · answer #4 · answered by Red Winged Bandit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it sounds like you tried. However, unless she can get some help with her problems then I am afraid you should just forget her. While she has her issues I don't believe that you deserve to be treated like you have been. Just know that you did try to help her and be her friend but it is time to move on and find someone that does not have all that baggage and who will treat you the way you deserve. Best of luck to you.
2007-04-17 09:58:38 · answer #5 · answered by susie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think she needs a psychiatrist.Her reactions may be a result of her disastrous past.as u describe i think she has went thru a lot of sexual abuse right from her childhood. she has not been able to deal with it in the right manner.it is a lot harder than u can imagine. this may have resulted into a fear of sex which is hard to overcome for her.there is hope if u can convince her to take help from a doctor.
may be i am not the right person to answer this bcoz i am just 17.but still i was just trying to help.
take care
2007-04-17 10:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your gender barrier didn't stop me.
This woman is not emotionally and psychologically stable. If she is not seeking help, she should. You deserve a healthy and stable partner.
Will she regret it? Probably. It is difficult to find good friends when you shut everyone out. I'm sure at times she realizes she has isolated herself from you even.
2007-04-17 09:59:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she likes to make things up maybe so people feel for her???
get what im saying maybe in her next relationship she will talk about you abusing her...and you know all that isnt true!
i say its good you left!
and 14 months is WAY to long with anyone with no out come.
2007-04-17 10:00:22 · answer #8 · answered by lauraloo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Walk away people like this are not worth the hassle...yes it is unfortunate that she has issues but they are not yours. She is an adult and probably has moments where she may regret what she did to you but she sounds so messed up in the head she may not appreciate what she had.
2007-04-17 09:59:57 · answer #9 · answered by *~LOVE~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say so, but from your description of her behavior, it really sounds like she could be using meth as well.
My advice?
Move on & find someone who will cherish your kindness. You don't deserve such abuse!
2007-04-17 12:18:59 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋