my bf doesn't know how to show affection, could it be i am not the one for him or is there really guys out there that are just that closed up? I asked him and he says he loves me??
2007-04-17 08:36:19 · 21 answers · asked by fairyluvg 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
some guys and even girls just aren't affectionate. if it's really important to you, this may not be the person for you. it's really hard for a person to change and you should never expect it.
2007-04-17 08:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by MBN 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooh, this is a good one for me bekuz I have the SAME problem. I've known my boyfriend since I was 8 yrs. old (and am 24 yrs. old now). We've been dating for a 1 and 1/2 yrs. now and he STILL (even thought I've confronted him on this a dozen or more times) isn't mr. cuddles. He's worse in front of people. After our first talk though he did get a little better. When we're alone he'll rub my back or my head or he'll give me a kiss on my cheek or my lips. Little things, but he's making progress. Guys like this take time and patience. Believe me when I tell you that these kind of guys are sometimes shy or untrusting, so you have to talk about it, let him know how you feel and see what happens. Just be patient and understanding. It doesn't mean that he doesn't care about you, the times I've split with my boyfriend he cried to get me back and fought hard for me. Those are the times you'll TRULY know if he cares. Good Luck Hun!
2007-04-17 08:48:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people are like this. Women can be this way too. I went on a coupe dates with a girl that showed absolutely no emotion to me, but still wanted to date me. Her mother told me she had a lot of problems opening up to people and showing affection. A lot of guys had turned her down in the past because they assumed she was not interested in them by the way she acted.
If he says he loves you then he probably does, he just has a hard time showing affection toward you.
2007-04-17 08:42:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend...I've been married for almost 3 years and my husband still doesn't get the whole romance gig. I try to tell him what I need in that department...but just as I give him the ball he drops it! I know he loves me because he shows it in his way. The trick he doesn't realize is that I need to be shown love in my way and I need to show him love in his way. We all have different ways of showing our love. Some buy gifts to show their love, while someone else shows affection to show their love. It's important to understand each others love language. A great book is "The Five Love Languages" I hope this helps. I think if he tells you he loves you then he probably does b/c most guys aren't going to say it if they don't mean it.
2007-04-17 08:48:41 · answer #4 · answered by porkchopsgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do believe it has a lot to do with how they were brought up. I know some people that aren't very affectionate and their parents don't ever hug, hold hands, kiss, or nothing, so i think that has a lot to do with how people show their emotions. Just cause he isn't showing affection doesn't mean he doesnt like you but teach him how to do little things, that wouldnt' be such a big deal but that would mean alot to you.
2007-04-17 08:45:35 · answer #5 · answered by vickie2391 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, I am taking a psychology course and the one thing that I have learned is that women are prone to disclosing more than men. It's in their nature and it's in ours. It's not that you might not be the one for him. It's probably that he feels comfortable being like that. Don't ask him every time to tell you that he loves you. Love is a feeling that it's expressed and not told. You are going to wear him out if you persist. Why don't you disclose on him and tell him what YOU are feeling towards this relationship and ask him if he is on the same page and if it's moving forward for good.
2007-04-17 08:46:19 · answer #6 · answered by Emily Isn't Lazy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it would be wise to observe his family members...is affection demonstrated freely? -Or is it restrained with no touching? It does seem unusual, to me, anyway - not to have my beloved grab my hand, put his arm around me, give me a kiss on the cheek, etc.
I would consider this a missing trait to explore...and one you may not like if you spent a considerable length of time with him. Saying he loves you isn't really enough
Grace
2007-04-17 08:41:17 · answer #7 · answered by bunnyONE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys aren't that affectionate. My ex boyfriend was the same way. He told me he loved me all the time...but he never showed it. Now my new boyfriend shows me all kinds of affection...and I'm loving it. I guess that's what I need my man to be...affectionate
2007-04-17 08:41:21 · answer #8 · answered by The girl next door 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men know how to show love and affection. Sometimes, they get better with age. Just be patient.
2007-04-17 08:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by Duchess20 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't know HOW to show affection. You could have fun showing him, just make a game out of it!
2007-04-17 08:38:21 · answer #10 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no answer for this question. Different people show love in different ways. You can tell him anything you want but don't expect the same back . I bet he is still the same as when you met and you accepted him then right?
2007-04-17 08:40:12 · answer #11 · answered by Frankee06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋