Neighbour of mine once told me, she doesn't want gay people moving into our neighborhood because, "How on earth am I going to explain to my children about two men holding hands!"
I have had absolutely no problem broaching the subject of homosexuality with MY kids. On a family trip to NY, my daughter saw men holding hands etc. and she was non plussed about it. It was only when her other cousins started giggling about it, she asked me about it and I told her simply,
"Well just like a man and woman sometimes love each other and want to hold hands, two men or two women might also love each other and want to hold hands. They are called homosexuals or lesbians. They are people with feelings just like us and we must not make fun or tease. Treat them like you want to be treated."
Case closed. It never came up again. Nor did it turn my kid gay. Even if you disapprove and want your kid to do so as well, why are you so squeamish about it? Is it because it has to do with sex?
2007-04-17 08:02:07 · 18 answers · asked by pixie_pagan 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I agree Breakfast!
When you hesitate or give shame-faced or answers that show you are uncomfortable it makes it even more of an issue than ever.
The more rational, calm and cool you are about these things, the better.
2007-04-17 08:09:51 · update #1
Some have answered that I should have told my kids it is wrong, gross unnatural etc.
Well you can teach your kids that if you want. I believe I included in my question, "even if you disapprove and want your child to do so as well".
I teach my kids according to our beliefs and we don't believe homosexuality is wrong or unnatural. Besides, I do not want to give my child license to exclude, bully or harrass a gay person they meet in high school or in general because they think they are gross or somehow less than human. But that is me.
Please keep to the question which is WHY some find it so hard to explain about gay people to children (whether you approve or not) . Is it because it is related to sex?
Anyway, the question was not on the religious/moral view on it.
2007-04-17 08:17:09 · update #2
I was just honest with my son. It was easier than I thought it would be. I had a dear friend who died of cancer who was a lesbian. Dylan knew Shyrlene since the day he was born. We told him one day that she was gay when he was about 6. He said, I know Mom. Kids are so much smarter than we give them credit for.
2007-04-17 08:45:16 · answer #1 · answered by Gorgeoustxwoman2013 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never had a problem with explaining this to my son. He's 17 and though he disagrees with the sexual acts themselves, he doesn't attack or tease homosexuals. He understands that they are people too and have feelings. They are not a faceless group which people can hang the problems of society on with the hopes that they'll carry the blame. (Too many times I have been told that the downfall of our society, the Reason we have murder, rape, etc... is because we Allow homosexual activities to happen in America) And then they want to tell me I live in a fantasy world because I'm Pagan. *rolls eyes*
They're squeamish because it's sex... and it's the type of sex they don't like. Which does worry me..... Obsession over things like this is not healthy. To go to such extremes as to promote types of hatred (not allowing a civil union between 2 consenting adults is a type of hatred - whether they want to admit it or not... it's prejudice) shows where these people's hearts truly are. They are not worried about the homosexuals... they've made it clear they do not care about them at all. It's just a focus point to drive their own anger/bitterness and hatred towards something... maybe so they won't have to look at themselves? =)
2007-04-17 08:13:25 · answer #2 · answered by Kithy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why so many parents are afraid of their kids learning about homosexuals. I've lived near San Francisco my entire life and it's never been a big deal for my family. My parents explained it in very simple terms when I was little. "Some people like the same, some people like different." From that simple explanation I was able to realize that people who like members of the opposite sex like different, and people who like members from the same sex like the same.
I think parents have trouble explaining gay people to their kids for a number of reasons. Some people think it's gross and abnormal and may not want their kids to learn about it, others may be afraid that their kids will turn gay. There's a big misconception about homosexuality. Many people actually believe that all gay people are perverts, pedophiles, and overly sexual with each other in public. It seems like people think homosexuals are these sex-crazed maniacs who want to turn everyone else gay. People are very ignorant and hateful, and those are the people who end up having kids and sheltering them from different people and cultures.
2007-04-17 08:10:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not a bit. My son and I were playing the game of "Life" and the topic came up, "Do you have to marry a pink? Could I marry a blue?" No gay people in the neighborhood needed to have these kinds of discussions.
Also, trips to the zoo can bring these discussions up. It's a normal part of life! If you freak out about sex or gay stuff that will send them messages too.
Your kids can know lots of people and it won't "turn them" into this or that. Having a gay friend will no more "turn them gay" than having a country-western friend will "turn them into lovers of really bad music."
2007-04-17 08:05:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have no problem explaining anything to my kids. I put things in age-appropriate terms. As they get older, the questions are getting more in depth. They asked about gays before. I told them the truth, and I told them that they were born that way so it's normal for them and there is nothing wrong with it. I want my kids to be able to ask me anything so I try my best to be accurate and fair when they come to me.
2007-04-17 08:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by glitterkittyy 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Best to do the explaining with no drama and nothing you can't prove. Any child with at least average intelligence will eventually know you sold them a bill of goods, when you lie.
Best to say you don't know an answer if you don't and then go look it up.
2007-04-17 08:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by Black Dragon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always a little awkward to talk to children about sex and I think especially homosexuality because it still is not completely accepted in society. I was embarassed telling my daughters about their menstrual cycles, which is a natural, normal thing, but it was very awkward for me.
2007-04-17 08:08:04 · answer #7 · answered by beattyb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is difficult but I am completely open and honest with my kids. It can be hard. Like when my daughter was 10. she says o.k. I know how babies are made but how to gay guys do it. Ouch that was a tough one. I just told her it is really gross and she doesn't need to worry about such things at 10. So now she 12 and she knows.
2007-04-17 08:07:29 · answer #8 · answered by NIKK F 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm with you 100% on this. Being frank & honest is the BEST approach, especially with kids & especially regarding sex. Kids are much more understanding & easygoing than opinionated adults
2007-04-17 08:12:49 · answer #9 · answered by napqueen 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
your question with your answer should be chosen as best answer.
i have had no problem explaining the facts of life to my child. i included gay and lesbian into the talks as well because that IS facts of life. sex is sex and love is love. how can it be wrong if someone makes you happy ?
2007-04-17 08:08:46 · answer #10 · answered by jezbnme 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋