Are modern parents not doing a good job?

Question

Where does the problem exist are kids just out of control or are parents just asleep at the wheel and hoping the schools will raise their kids for them.

I just read that two 16yr olds put acid on a slide and a 2 year old boy now has second and third degree burns.

Where do monsters like this come from?

Now for all of the parents reading this who are thinking "I do the best I can" but have to spend 8 hours at work and 2 hours getting there and back or worse yet work 2 jobs.

Is part of the blame on society for setting up the rules of too much work and not enough time for family?

Answer 1

Alright be prepared for my answer. I am 15 and in high school. The answer to this question is it's all the parents faults. Children follow by example and if they have no example or they have a bad example they will act bad. Influences in there life such as bad friends and activities should be noticed by parents and stopped. Parents though refuse to except that there children may have problems and would rather think they are angels. The next problem is that children have to much free time. If parents would require there children to be active in the community the would not even have the thought in there head to act up. The last problem is discipline, parents either give to little or too much. If you keep a firm grip on your children they will not be likely to act up, but at the same time you cannot put too much stress on them because they will be most likely to rebel against you and totally ignore you. I think a close eye and a strong grip on children would be a positive effect on your kids.

Answer 2

The blame goes in many places. Firstly, in defense of parents, the cost of living and amount of taxation in North America is so high that most families can not viably have one full time parent. So children are sent to care facilities where they do not get one on one care and the care can be lacking. When the parents do get their children they are often so tired and guilt ridden that they fail to do a good job at parenting.

Also, parents are so concerned about what the latest self-help book says about parenting that styles and techniques are not being consistant. As well, discipline is lacking because no one wants to be accused of abuse.

As well, the majority of kids spend MUCH of their day in over crowded schools where proper education can not be achieved. Teachers are at a loss of how to handle problem children because of "you can't do that to MY child" syndrome.

There is also a pop-culture currently which glorifies violence, that does not help the problem.

Then, going back to parents, so many kids are so over programmed and so under exercise they are pent up ticking time bombs. Social development actually suffers when the day goes 7:00 am, before school program, 9:00-3:00 am, school, 3:00-6:00 homework program. Home for supper, 7:00-8:00 Boy Scouts/team practice/ or any other number of things. There is little time for imagination, role playing, exercise and freedom of expression. Without this, children do not develop many nessisary skills for life...

You put that all together and you start pumping out some nasty people.

So parents are in part to blame, and in part, so is the "system". Its very sad.

Answer 3

If this generation of parents is messing up, why do you think that is? Did their parents not raise *them* right? And, if that's the case, what was wrong with their parents? And, their parents? And son on...

Same problems, new generation. The *majority* of today's kids are being raised just fine, even with non-spanking, non-totalitarian parents. Same as they were in previous generations. Everyone didn't parent the same way in the past, no matter how simple it would be to find someone to blame if we believed that. Everyone doesn't do it the same now, either.

There were bad kids in the past. There were bad parents in the past. Just as there are now, too.

There are *more people* in general these days than there were in the past. And, the media is ever more invasive & prevalent and scare-mongering than it was in the past. I think it's a combination of these two things, combined with the simple fact that we are all living *now*, that makes it seem like things are getting worse.

Answer 4

Well, since you asked for my opinion, lol...

I live in a small town overrun by meth heads. Most of the kids I deal with (I'm a Young Adult Librarian) have parents that are in prison or too busy doing drugs to mess with their kids. There have been incidents of people dropping off their 4 and 5-year-old children here and leaving them for hours.

I think another problem in modern society is that most parents have to work so much to maintain their lifestyle. We're so caught up in materialism that we sacrifice our homelives to have things we really can't afford. Sad, but true.

I think what we need to be doing is PAYING MORE ATTENTION. To our children, where they are and what's going on in their lives. How did 2 16-year-olds get the acid they put on the slide? How do 10-year-olds get guns and bring them to school? How do 16-year-old girls get pregnant, carry a baby for 9 months, give birth at prom and leave the baby in a trashcan without parents noticing?!?

My son is still a toddler, so maybe I'll turn out to be a hypocrite. But I hope that I'll pay as much attention to him in 5 years, and 10 and 15 as I do now. (/endrant)

Answer 5

I think this is a relative question. Take me for example. I've grown up most of my teenager life with my mother, she worked most of the time so I was home alone. I was never punished, not in the past few years. I never really had a problem with my mom. I have an ample amount of freedom that in necessity allows me to grow on my own. I know most parents would not dare dream of doing this because of their inherited fear.

It's ironic, and to a degree a little funny; most parents scare their kids off. When they need help most, they are too afraid of their parents to ask them sticky questions because of how they will re-act. I'd never be this way with my kids. It seems the only thing people think is wrong is "lack of discipline". I laugh at this. If you have to enforce suffering on your children to get them to behave in a way you deem appropriate, you're doing something wrong. Kids are not animals, they are just very careless because they do not properly understand things the same way we do. I remember exactly how I thought of things when I was young.

Answer 6

Modern parents are trying more to be 'cool' and be friends with their kids than acting like responsible adults and raising them to know right and wrong. In the average American household, both parents work 8+ hours per day and rely on before and after school care to supervise their children. Either that or they allow their kids to stay home unsupervised. Kids need constant supervision or they will get into trouble. It's the nature of things!

Answer 7

It's not necessarily the parents fault, kids are just more outrageous and rebellious now. Once something has been done a few times before they need to start finding new ideas.

After a few decades, things get to the point where they can be scary, so many things have been done, the only things left SHOULD be out of the question, but they aren't.

Easier way of putting it?

The parents have no idea whats going on, they wouldn't even begin to THINK their kids are doing the things they are.

Answer 8

It is a combination of problems that took decades to develop. Loss of the nuclear family with poor parental role models has been a building problem. Each successive generation of parent seems to weaken on the foundations they inherited so it snowballs.

But it isn't just that! It is the desensitization of Americans to violence and the lack of self censorship we teach our young. Just watch Springer, you think we would have acted like that 30 years ago? People are loosing their ability to control themselves.

Instant credit, instant gratification and a feeling that you must live only for today are putting pressures on our society that help it decay.

I imagine the last years of Rome felt a lot like this. We are in a decline and it will eventually end in a very bad and bloody mess. And then it will reform into another stable period...only we won't be here to see that.

Answer 9

Society tells us we're not allowed to discipline our children anymore, and they tell our children the same. I'm not promoting child abuse at all. It's just that when I was a kid there was some fear of what mom and dad might do if you really screw up. Thats gone and the respect for all adults and other people is gone along with it. Respect and fear are good friends, how could we expect our kids to have any??

Answer 10

kid's are natural born animals. I know some really awesome parents that produce obnoxious kids.

We don't know the intent of the slide bandits, maybe they were just trying to get the slide to melt or something (at least I'd like to think that is the case).