Should you spank another parents child?

Question

the other day my son had a friend to stay over, they were both 7 years old and they were acting up, i told them to come inside and behave. I went to make lunch, and they snuk ot side so i told them they would be going to bed early. They acted up all day.I put them to bed at 6:30 but they kept running down so after a warning i spanked my son. i do think it was unfir that only joe got a spankin but i did not feel comfortable giving his friend a spanking. When his mother came i told her and she said next time should spank her son as well.
i was just wondering what you would have done?

Answer 1

I would have reacted the same way you did. And when the mother gives permission to spank her child I'd probably spank him, not that hard but enough to let him know I was serious and then I'd let him call his mom.

Answer 2

I would never spank someone elses child. I would hav foned the parents or found some other form of punishment no tv or supper or send him home early the next day that sort of thing! My friend makes her kids sit on a dining chair not allowed to do anything OR even talk to each other until they calm down if my kids are there they get the same treatment the kids find it really boring & very quikly calm down or appologise or whatever they've been told to do!
I had a friends child in the car this evening & as we pulled up to drop him home he started to open the door before the car had stopped so i automatically grabbed his arm & shouted his name to stop him getting out while the car was moving, then when we stopped i told him it was dangerous,
I felt bad enough just doing that but then i would hav felt 10times worse if he'd been hurt. Sometimes you have to grab a child or physically stop them doing something for their own safety but i would always tel the parent & never normally smack as a way of disipline. If a child was being violent themself i may hav to step in or try to keep hold of them WHILE i called the parent over the fone get the drift? occasionally there may be a genuine reason you NEED to use some form of physical contact but i would always let the parent no & only if it was really necessary!

Answer 3

No i would not advise it. She`s alright saying that, but if the child had gone home and told her you spanked him, i bet she would have had something to say. Apart from the fact she could sue the pants off you - and you could even land in jail - believe it or not. I would not have kids who play up over to stay - too stressful, and they ruin your routine and your evening, and it doesn`t turn out fun for anyone. When i was a kid the neighbours would clip you round the ear if you didn`t behave, and it was accepted. My mother would say, " well you must have done something !" Things are different now. Look at the teacher who ended up in jail for slapping a lad who threatened her. No i would definately not put a hand on anyone else`s child - it is just so not worth it. I know what you mean though, having to spank your son and the other child got away with it. Don`t let there be a "next time". I wouldn`t have him to stay over again. Also, if you spank her child - you are giving her a license to spank your child - would you be comfortable with that......? I know i wouldn`t.
I don`t agree with spanking at all - but i`m not getting into that again - had a terrible time with a woman on here over that - sending me nasty emails coz she hit her kids and i didn`t think it was right. So please no-one have a go at me for it. I`ve raised 9 kids and never had to spank/slap/smack/whatever.I have a 5 year old grandaughter who has never been smacked and she is fine. Talking and other forms of punishment are effective. You have to remember 2 seven year olds together will get giddy and excited - it`s to be expected - but i would not allow it if it got me frustrated and my own child was suffering for it. A sleepover is supposed to be fun........

MOONSHYN - WELL SAID ! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I HAD THAT NASTY AGGRESSIVE WOMAN AT ME ?!

Answer 4

That's a difficult situation. Personally, I wouldn't feel as if it were my right to spank or discipline another parents child- what would have happened if you spanked your son's friend, and you told his mum about it, and she went through the roof? In this day and age, I would NEVER hit or discipline another person's child- I mean, I'd say, "Stop that!" or warn the child if they don't stop acting up, you will tell their mother. But I'd never ever spank another parents child. You did the right thing!

Answer 5

everyone it is against spanking babies: (a) does no longer have babies of their own (b) does have babies and no different mothers and fathers like thier youngsters through fact they misbehave for all time (c) does no longer comprehend the verse "spare the rod, destroy the new child" I do spank, i do no longer beat - works for me and it does get a three twelve months olds interest. I hardly might desire to implement it anymore. do no longer spank yet another new child through fact the discern ask you to. the new child will concern you and can desire to truly make your life depressing. the only mom desires to be the disciplinarian and if that would not artwork take the new child to a counselor. timber spoons artwork, as properly as, a leather-based strap - used in straight forward terms for threats. If he's 8 now, she has enable this habit pass on for too long and it is often puzzling to regulate.

Answer 6

I would never spank another parent's child, even with their explicit permission. I would have simply called the boy's mother, and had her come pick him up. Sleepover cancelled due to poor behavior, better luck next time kids. I have cancelled sleepovers or visits long before the friend even came over, a couple of times, due to poor behavior by one of my children. I don't reward disobedience and/or disrespect, and a sleepover *is* a reward. It's a party, even if it's just the two kids.

My old neighbor had this issue once with her daughter, who was about 11 at the time. She invited a friend overnight without permission ahead of time, was over at another friend's house without permission (knowing that it was against the rules), and came home full of attitude. I was visiting w/ the mom at the time. She didn't want to disappoint the other girl (after all, it wasn't *her* fault that the daughter was misbehaving), but I told her the same thing I just told you. She ended up apologizing to the girl, sending her home, and her daughter stayed up her room all night. Next time she wanted a sleepover, though, she asked first, followed the general rules, and everything went well. :)

Best of luck to you!

Answer 7

i think it all depends on the situation and how well you know the child and the parents... for instance i wouldnt spank an acquaintances child, but i surely would have put them in the corner. however, if one of my nieces or nephews or other family members kids were acting up... we have a general rule in this family..... if you see a kid misbehaving and you stand by and tolerate it then your just as guilty as the kid... im sorry, but i was brought up that you address adults as sir or ma'am, you say pleas and thank you, you dont run in the house and you are never disrespectful to an adult... i have to tell you, that if i were in your situation i would have done the same thing... i do not normally spank my children, but they sure know that i will.

Answer 8

Well I would never spank another person child because if she ever becomes angry with you she could file assault charges against you and that would be a problem. Instead if you have the little boy over again and he acts up, I would warn one time then if the behavior continues I would pack his bag and take him home explaining to his mother why you brought her son home early. That I bet will get him the attention he needs with the board of education applied to the seat of learning from his own mother for the embarrassment. But never strike a child of another parent even with permission.

Answer 9

I no its not comfatable giving a child that is not your own a smack but it was a bit unfair to punish your son and not the other boy if thay were both messing around ,if the mother has gave you permission to smack him the next time even if its a tap on the hand ( i no there a bit old for that ) but at least there getting punished together or punish them another way like no telly or games , if i mind my friends little boy and he is naughty i will smack him and the same goes for my friend minding my son thay have to learn and a tap dont do them any harm , really its a waist of time sometimes telling the mother or father what the child done a few hours later , you cant punish a child hours after thay have done something thay forget 10 mins later .

Answer 10

no you did the right thing, i would never spank another persons child. as for it not being fair my kids are always told that if they have some one stay over then have to behave, if not they know they will be spanked, but there friend wont be.

Answer 11

No way no how, would I spank another person's child. Even if they said it was OK.
In your situation, without placing blame, I would have just called the whole thing off and told the other mom to come & get her son. If my kids can't behave with friends over, then they don't have friends over.