My mother-in-law & stepdaughter have recently moved in with me - with no table manners! How do I fix this?

Question

Its still early days, but everything else is fine. They are unobtrusive and helpfull in all else. They slurp when they eat soup and chew with their mouths open - its driving me up the wall. My asian wife did the same initially until I tactfully asked her not to - but she occasionally still does without realising it. How do I get them to take note of this when they eat without offending them?

Answer 1

I have seen this behavior alot in there culture. I do believe that there is help for the step-daughter, She'll be easy to teach and I would have your wife speak to her about it, The mother-in this is going to be hard, This also needs to be done by your wife, I think that maybe by teaching the daughter the MIL will follow their example, Your wife should say something in the line of "A Lady Carry's herself this way when she is at the dinner table" By teaching her this way the daughter would want to learn more on how to be a lady, I don't really know of any young girl that doesn't want to learn all she can to have proper etiquette.

Answer 2

My brother married into a family like that. The joke is if they were all eating corn cob at once they would drive off pigs from miles round.
They move food round their plates, chomp, slurp, then burp. Sometimes all at once. Brother's solution: Take plate and go in other room. Some did eventually get the hint.
I think it reasonable to turn the issue over to your wife and find out what she suggests.

--That Cheeky Lad

Answer 3

hey fella I also have an Asian (Chinese) girlfriend and from their perspective, a little noise during the meals is a sign of "enjoyment" of food. Unlike Western etiquette, where dining has been formalised to the right combination of knife and fork, Asians tend to be informal - ever used chopsticks? Now that's a lot of clattering noise.

Do they intend to stay permanently with you? Then with your wife's aid, it is possible to teach them slowly on English table manners. But be patient and be kind and don't make them feel "small" for not knowing Western etiquette that would only make the learning process more difficult.

Regards

Answer 4

Ask your wife to speak with them. In some cultures, slurping signifies appreciation of the food. Chewing with open mouths is disgusting. Truthfully, I'm not sure I wouldn't just wait and have my dinner after them .

Answer 5

take a seat all mutually and bypass via what's envisioned of the hot residing preparations. issues start up while expectancies are no longer met or there is miscommunication. bypass via each and all of the significant different and young ones responsibilities, cooking, cleansing, procuring, private area, quiet learn time, no rely in case you may have acquaintances to bypass to and so on. how plenty funds are you agreeing to contribute to the significant different and young ones expenses? That way no one appears like they're being taken good thing about and additionally is conscious what the obstacles are. tutor your appreciation that she is assisting you out. purchase her plant existence each on occasion or do some thing advantageous for her. If each physique recollects their manners it is going to be a great journey. reliable success alongside with your analyze.

Answer 6

As long as they chew with their mouths shut and don't slurp all other table manners are un-necessary. But I have to admit, that would drive me crazy. Blatently point out its minging and they should stop! You can't offend someone by telling them to eat properly so don't worry!

Answer 7

With your step daughter it's easy, you ask her mom (your wife) to step in and give her guidance. Since it sounds like they've relocated, perhaps to a new country, it's only fair that the girl be made aware of different cultural standards. Your M-I-L though is a different story- as an adult, she isn't necessarily bound by your standards. Assuming this is a tempory arrangement, I'd just learn to ignore it, and hope she observes your manners and try to adapt.

Answer 8

Argh! I hate bad manners! If your wife knows you don't like it maybe you could mention it to her. Make it clear that you are very happy with everything else but that their manners bother you and would she mind just discussing it with them?
My boyfriend is from Iran and he does stuff like wearing a hat at the table and I hate it!
I really feel for you x

Answer 9

I know someone who is doing the same,And there is nothing more disgusting in my opinion.I hate it when people chew,slurp and swallow loudly! It's gross! So,I told him straightforward that it would be better not to eat this way...he said ok,but he keeps eating the same way,since it's the only way he learnt to eat all his life!

Answer 10

I think its your wife's Job to tell them,their her kin more then yours.Tell her its very rude to eat this way in front of other people,and its good manners to keep your mouth shut when chewing food.Tell her to tell them to try to do this when its just the four of you,then it won't happen with company. Its up to her to tell them.if you do they might get offend,since this kind of eating seems alright with Asians.