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A woman I know only from my uni course (socially, we have hardly ever spoken to each other) saw me in town, over the weekend, with my girl-friend. When I saw her at uni today, she asked me, rather annoyed, why I hadn't told her I am gay.

Did I miss the memo about HAVING to tell everyone we meet?




And who else is mildly vexed that the only way to emphasise a word here is to put it in caps?
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2007-04-17 07:10:17 · 38 answers · asked by abetterfate 7 in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

A CHICKYN SHALL LEAD THEM:
Why did you have to say that? Why? Now I am going to spend the rest of the evening thinking up questions for the questionnaire!! LOL

2007-04-17 07:22:26 · update #1

DEMENTOR:
Her tone annoyed me so much that I said: "well, I don't fancy you, so there was no point"

KEDAR:
I DO have an Indigo Girls "Girls Play Here" t-shirt

MY GAY LORD:
Please, please, please, darling boy, button yourself back up - I can live with the abs - but I do NOT want to see anything else!
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2007-04-17 07:28:27 · update #2

YGL:

"moo in someone else's pasture" - just read that again - roflmao
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2007-04-17 07:31:12 · update #3

LORD WASHU:
I understand what you are saying - but saying "hello" when we meet; or sitting in the same seminar room a couple of hours a week; or occasionally exchanging a polite word at the coffee machine does not give someone any right to know anything about me that I do not have any need to tell them.

Keeping my private life private is not the same as hiding something.
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2007-04-17 07:37:26 · update #4

KEDAR:
sorry, it's red - you'll have to take it up with Amy and Emily

KENA2MI:
LOL
"Lesbionic"? - I have had fun with that word for the last ten minutes: is it something to do with high-tech "toys"?

GITSLIVEON:
I shame I could not have seen you in action : )) ... however, I shall NOT be discussing my sex life, thank you very much!
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2007-04-17 08:17:50 · update #5

FRENCH CUFFS:
Caps are so infra dig, darling.
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2007-04-17 08:19:35 · update #6

TIKHACOFFEE:
Feel free to link this question.

Another irony for you: last year a lovely strait-laced old lady, who's a regular at the cafe where I work, was worried about me being single, and offered to ask her grandaughters if they were gay - LOL

As far the contents of YGL's 501s are concerned, you certainly will not find me standing in your way!
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2007-04-17 08:40:09 · update #7

KEDAR:
In a moment of forgiveness, darling, I shall assume you would never really take a hammer and a nail to the girls - threats of violence simply don't become you. You also know that there would be trouble if you did, because it would just cause a heartache for everyone, and ther would be no peace tonight -and that's the least complicated thing that could happen.

I wouldn't like to tether you, so go and get the cold beer and remote control. I'm sure then that you will soon be feeling closer to fine.
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2007-04-17 09:02:26 · update #8

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UPDATE AFTER 13 HOURS:

So many very good answers! I am so glad I asked this question.

Emucompboy: of COURSE I am cute!

Kadija: sorry, sweetie, must have gone astray - bring it in person next time ; )



I can't choose a Best Answer - too much for this little girly head - I think I shall leave it up to you to vote it out (unless I suddenly make up my mind).

For various reasons I really like: H (your answers often make me laugh), SDTerp, Dementor, Kedar (always good answers), Your Gay Lord ("moo in someone else's pasture" roflmao), Kena2mi ("lesbionic"- ), and Gitsliveon (just because she is one of the Good Ones).


Oh, and ANTHONY - thank you for your contribution, sweetie, but I'm not sure Mummy likes you disturbing the grown-ups.

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2007-04-17 20:35:46 · update #9

Oops, forgot to mention A Chickyn Shall Lead Them! Not only is it a great screen-name, but I have always had a soft spot for flirtatious little tramps.
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2007-04-17 22:49:20 · update #10

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE:

Once again UNCLEFRUNK raises the bar! (or is that raids the bar?)

JAYELLE:
Did I know who was gay? if you mean the rude cow, then I have no idea whether she is gay or not - nor have any interest in finding out.
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2007-04-18 07:55:17 · update #11

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE:

Once again UNCLEFRUNK raises the bar! (or is that raids the bar?)

JAYELLE:
Did I know who was gay? if you mean the rude cow, then I have no idea whether she is gay or not - nor have any interest in finding out.
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2007-04-18 07:55:21 · update #12

UPDATE TO THE UPDATE TO THE UPDATE:
I have no idea why that appeared twice

2007-04-18 07:56:34 · update #13

YET ANOTHER UPDATE.

TONI F:
I think "the words: "This is my girlfriend" gave her the clue.

LARGELASSIE:
Thank you for your contribution; do have a lovely day, sweetie.



The vote is coming up; be ready ...




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2007-04-19 08:23:15 · update #14

FINAL UPDATE:
I am definitely leaving it to a vote - too many good answers to choose from.

Even Plum managed to slip one in - several days late ... taking a few minutes away from the sun-bathing, babe? : ))
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2007-04-21 04:55:57 · update #15

38 answers

Try not to be vexed, dear, it can ruin one's complexion!

You are required to tell everyone you are gay -- but you are required to wear a big orange hat that says 'I like girls' every other fortnight or so . . .

Just taking the mick, here, no harm intended.

Honestly, next time someone confronts you and says 'I had no idea you were gay!' just turn it all around by saying, 'Thanks, Love! I had no idea you were human!'

EDIT:
Make sure that your Indigo Girls "Girls Play Here" t-shirt is orange

EDIT:
Wait until I get 'hammer and a nail'

2007-04-17 07:19:11 · answer #1 · answered by Kedar 7 · 16 1

I didn't see it in the Queer Rulebook. But you may be interested to know that in Article 3 Para 2 lines 3-5 it reads:

"Whereas the Gay Person shall disclose their sexual orientation to their S.O., neither exclamation nor proclamation of the orientation is required among the populus."

It goes on (from Line 7):

(NB: From the earlier Declarations Section:

"A person or persons who is/ are neither the Gay Person nor the Gay Person's S.O. shall hereinafter be defined as Entity (Entities).")

"Entities expressing any form of negative or abusive behaviour towards the Gay Person, shall accept revocation of any and all Personal rights under the Statutes of Human Rights provided for by the State under licensed agreement from the United Nations."

Consequently, if you had chosen to do so, you could've B!tch-slapped her into the 21st Century.

2007-04-18 00:07:51 · answer #2 · answered by unclefrunk 7 · 5 0

Not compulsory, but if you don't have it stenciled on your forehead, expect others to just assume that you're straight. Honestly, if one more person asks me if I caught "the game on TV", who my favorite WWE star is, what my wife (I wear a ring) does for a living, or what I think about some new Nascar rule, I may just do that. (Replace with the appropriate lesbionic references...)

Edit: I heard the word Lesbionic somewhere, and have been dying to use it in a sentence ever since... I think it's an adjective, meant to imply that something is superior... as in, "that new Subaru wagon is positively Lesbionic!"

2007-04-17 07:47:24 · answer #3 · answered by kena2mi 4 · 4 1

I just get on with my life - if people ask, I tell them - HOW I tell them depends on how politely they ask ; ))

I think your answer probably shocked her more than seeing you with your girlfriend did - wonderful!


Loved your Indigo Girls answer to Kedar.


Your Gay Lord: you are a wicked, wicked little boy - "Moo in someone else's pasture" - rofllmao - you may have TWO chockie bickies with your cocoa tonight!



(and indeed, having to use caps is so infra dig)
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2007-04-20 09:36:27 · answer #4 · answered by Plum 5 · 3 0

People of your own gender feel betrayed when they know you for a while and later find out that you're gay. They think "Oh crap, all those times I bent over around you" or "damn and I changed in front of you that one day". Yes, that's unjustified (probably) but realize that sexually-wise, you are like the opposite gender to them, and anything that they would feel embarassed doing or saying around the opposite gender also applies to you. In a perfect world it wouldn't matter but for whatever reason it does and you should always be upfront, it is safer for yourself and respectful of people around you.

2007-04-17 07:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by lordwashu13 3 · 2 0

You don't have to tell her or anyone anything unless you personally feel the need. She is not someone close to you so her being annoyed is ridiculous...she is not worth talking to. Live your life and enjoy your gfs company and don't sweat the rest....live for yourself...not someone else. At the end of the day you have family and friends....they count....this girl needs manners...and should mind her own business.

2007-04-17 07:16:08 · answer #6 · answered by mlcmonkey 2 · 4 0

Some people are not very couth. I have had occasions where people asked why I didn't mention my sexuality to them. If I am annoyed by their tone, I tell them that I didn't feel it was any of their BEEPING business. Then shrug!


On a lighter note:
Why would you be VEXED about CAPS? hehe ... have a nice day!

2007-04-17 08:11:33 · answer #7 · answered by Active Denial System™ 6 · 3 0

No, you don't "have" to tell everyone, but in a sense if you are silent about it, you reduce visibility. Heteros "announce" their sexual orientation all the time with family photos on desks and in offices, wedding bands, even things that come up in "small talk" like, "My wife is doing, blah, blah, blah," or "My husband and I are going/just came back from blah, blah, blah." You don't have to know these people well to learn this. If there is someone you have even a superficial acquaintance with and they don't know, it's not just that you're not telling them, but you're actively hiding it.

2007-04-17 07:17:09 · answer #8 · answered by SDTerp 5 · 2 0

That's really funny. How did you respond to her? I would've said "Because you never asked." Personally, I don't go around flaunting my sexual orientation. I typically only tell people if they ask me directly. Or sometimes if I'm with a group of friends, and GLBT issues come up, I'll say something like "Well, as a lesbian, I think..." I can see how people who make EVERYTHING about your sexual orientation can be very annoying!

2007-04-17 07:17:13 · answer #9 · answered by dementors_suck 6 · 5 0

Oh how I wish I was there. I would have told her a thing or two. On another note, the next time you see her, say "Well since you're so interested in my sex life, I've got to tell you we had the best sex last night, do you want details"?

2007-04-17 07:59:55 · answer #10 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 11 0

I usually use *asterisks* to emphasize.

You need not tell anyone of your sexual identity.

LOL -- maybe she should start handing out questionnaires to people, so she can have them all on file.

edit -- "Moo in someone else's pasture" -- that is the funniest damn thing I have seen today!

: )

2007-04-17 07:15:54 · answer #11 · answered by Chickyn in a Handbasket 6 · 4 0

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