Question about adoption...?

Question

My view of the world is probably a bit idealistic. I believe that with all the children on the planet that people should start adopting and not have children of their own. Or, perhaps, adopt a child for everyone they create. I myself am interested in adoption at some point in my life but now is not the right time. My relatives think that this is silly. My Sister said that it is terribly hard to adopt a child. She makes it sound almost impossible. Would some one who is in the know please tell me just how difficult it is and the hoops you have jump through to adopt a child...income and such? And areas where it is easier to adopt...or more difficult...laws and so on? I would greatly appreciate your help.

Answer 1

Well honestly it really depends on what agency you’re going through. Different countries and states have different criteria for prospective parents who want to adopt. Now if someone is desperate on getting a white baby /toddler. It will be more difficult since they go quickly. But if people are open minded and willing to adopt a child that is mixed race or non – white. Even take a child that is older 4 and up. My Aunt and her husband wanted a white child and the only reason they got one as quickly as they did was because they went through a private adoption. It was hard it cost them over 100,000, and there were times they thought the birthmother was going to change her mind, lucky she didn’t.

Sometimes it can take a while to adopt, but hey it can take a while to conceive a child as well. A friend of mine her Aunt and Uncle were on the adoption list for years, they finale got a little girl from Russia. I know another couple who didn’t care about Race and they were willing to take a child up to 4 years old. Maybe 10 months after they filed to adopted they got a baby, a child of mixed race who had just been born 2 days before they got the call. Obviously they were thrilled a bit unprepared because they figured they’d get an older child.

I agree more people should adopt, just because you adopt doesn’t mean you can’t have natural children too if you want. I’d like and plan to one day have a mixture of adopted and natural kids.

Answer 2

My cousin couldn't have children so she and her husband decided to adopt. And despite all of her oohing and aahing that "we just want a child to love" crap, they sat on a waiting list for several, several years. Why? Because they didn't actually want a CHILD, they wanted an infant, preferrably a white, healthy infant because they did turn down two infants before adopting their son because one was not white and the other had health problems.

They could have had a Child, literally, within 6 weeks when they decided on adoption if they had: Gone with the county (with a surpluss of "undesirable" children [read: too old, not white, or unhealthy], the county and state will literally bend over backwards to help you adopt one of their cases, they cut fees routinely, they lower standards, just about anyone these days can adopt from the county or state) instead of a private adoption agency and not been so picky or had such limitations on their "love" such as age, race, and health (some of these kids aren't even that unhealthy, they just need proper nutrition and some minor medical attention).

It's actually A LOT easier to adopt than it was at one time and cheaper if you go through the county or the state. People make the claims that it is so much harder and so expensive because they are typically sitting on a waiting list for that healthy, white infant at a private adoption agency instead of actually opening their homes and hearts to a child already in need of a home and family.

I do think that people seeking to adopt be, at the very least, required to look at the children who are already waiting instead of immediately going onto the waiting list. They could find, if they would only look, that THEIR child is already waiting for them and it would help get some of the 625,000 children waiting a home.

As for forcing people to adopt, I don't think you could ever legislate it but I think it's a good general policy to encourage people to think about adopting rather than reproducing themselves.

If you are in Great Britain, I'm not sure what the rules are regarding adoption. You might want to start with the website below, though.

Best of luck!
Peace,
Jenn

Answer 3

I agree mostly. Not to force everyone to adopt a child, but I think they should make it easier for lower income people to adopt a child if they want to. I'd love to adopt as a single female, but I can't afford it, due to finances. It can cost as much as $40,000 to get a child these days. There are some older children, or siblings that need a family just as much as those infants, but even that is hard. I thought about going the foster care route, being a foster parent and then eventually adopting a child who was in my care, but I don't know. The issue always seems to be money, money, money. I don't know where you live, but it's easier in the US to adopt older children or siblings, you don't have to go to another country to adopt a child. Good luck.

Answer 4

Well to start off me and my husband wanted to adopt because we are unable to have our own children we had to go through classes and have a home study and deal with case workers comming in our house every few weeks and they knew how much money we make and how much was in our bank accounts and 401k's and everything! (i live in Ohio)
but then they told us if we were foster parents we would have a better chance at adopting well we had a 7 year old little girl who we loved very much as our own and she was in foster care for nearly all her life well she became free for adoption then a month into the process of us adopting her a relative from another state came through the wood work and they moved her their so just make sure it is for you because things like this happen all the time but it's never reported.
I mean come on she was in foster care most of her life then they gave her back to them. they took her from her school her friends and a family that loved her dearly this is why it's hard to adopt. they say it's in the best interest of the child but is it really???

Answer 5

If you go through you local health and human services (the state that you live in) it's free. You probably aren't going to get a newborn right from the hospital...but I haven't had a child over the age of 4 1/2 move in with me...Finacially you have to be able to provide for yourslef and the children...they won't look at your tax returns / check book...but they will ask you what you make in a year. You must be able to provide them with a bed of their own...and if it's a room of their own it only has to be I believe 5 X 7...not much room at all, but that's the minimum they require. As far as the loops you have to go through...most of these children (the younger ones) still have their parent's involved and parental rights have not been terminated...that's the hard part...they could go home....but then again...they could be yours forever.

Answer 6

I live in the United States in the Washington DC metro area. My husband and I are Waiting Parents for domestic adoption. There are many facets of adoption, and many options. You first have to do your homework, and, make some tough decsions. Do you seek international adoption?
Domestic? Adoption after Fostering? A newborn, toddler or older child? Would you accept a bi racial child, or one that has some minor medical issues, ie; cleft palette, history of family ADHD, Chrones disease..........the list goes on, your choices ultimately determine what child comes to you.

We chose the agency route. After doing extensive research, and talking "about adoption" with everyone, we quicklly learned many of our close friends were either adopted themselves, or had adopted, and we never knew. We were referred to our agency, The Barker Foundation, and completed our homestudy in April 2006, then just had to renew it again this morning. Here are some of the criteria/things we had to do....

FBI fingerprinting
Criminal backround check
Full Physicals
TB and HIV tests
Child protective services check
Health and Human Svs inspection of our home
Inspection by the Fire dept of our home
4 letters of recommendation by non family members
Attend up to 5 seminars/meetings at our adoption agency prior to beginning any of the homestudy work
3 visits with a social worker, as a couple, then by ourselves, then as a couple again, and in our home with social worker.
Financial statements
Entire driving record backround
Employer verification
Debt disclosure, and monthly spending, bills, cc's etc.

the list is longer than this as well, and can take up to 3 months to approve. You then become Waiting Parents

With our agency, the birthmother chooses the adoptive parent(s). She views a scrapbook we put together of our life and reads a "Dear Birthmother" letter that we write to her.

I have to say that it is not "impossible" to adopt, it is however, sometimes "impossible" to give up control and maintain patience.

Adoption is an emotional rollercoaster. It is best to live your life while you wait. Read adoption literature, journal, join support groups and attend meetings/seminars. There is a world to learn about adoption!

About cost....that depends mainly on you finances. Most agencies charge based on a scale. For example, if you are in the $50k annual bracket, your fee may be a minimum of $5000.00 plus any extras necessary. If your combined total, (say with a spouse) is $150k annually or above, you would most likely be at the top of the scale, $15,000 plus....All agencies, and private adoption fees vary, so it is important to do your homework here as well.

Don't let family or friends discourage you from your dreams and hopes of parenting. Parenting is the goal here, and with your added "openess" with adoption, I am sure you will be a good one. Good Luck to you!

Answer 7

Here's a site that will help you in answering a lot, if not all, of your questions about the adoption process http://www.adoption.com/

As far as everyone adopting--all I can say is that it takes very special people to invite a new child into their lives, and not everyone is cut out for it.

Answer 8

I don't have any useful info for you, but only to say Go For It! Everyone wants to adopt a baby, but there are so many older school-aged children out there who need homes. Good luck!

Answer 9

go thru your local department of family servuces and child abuse dept.its free and alot of kids need a home.start off as foster prents and go from there.were the proud parents of a beautiful little girl we got thru there.took awhile but you can do it that way