My boyfriend- 32 yrs old- tells me he's friends with an ex still as he dont like to end off on bad terms and he likes talking to her. Well he still meets up with ex sometimes at 1130pm at night cause she works late. Well I do trust him completely with her and know he just talks with her as friend but it makes a difference that he's meeting her LATE at night rather than for lunch or something. But she works almost everyday so that would be hard. I tell him that it bothers me esp about time of day they meet up- so late. He does say if he wanted to be sexual with her it could happpen any time really. I see what he means but how can i argue my point that time of day does matter- maybe it sounds silly but i feel uncomfortable with him meeting up that late. He DOES respect my wishes to not meet up with her late but I just want to argue my point though about meeting up late and I want to let him know that its not about trust. Please reply ASAP on this, best answer wins 10 points.
2007-04-17 05:43:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You said:He DOES respect my wishes to not meet up with her late but I just want to argue my point though about meeting up late and I want to let him know that its not about trust.
My answer: It is about trust. ALL relationships need trust to be stable and last for any length of time. If he does respect your wishes, then this really shouldn't be an issue for him. I see your point and agree, so should he. If this girl really is a 'friend' to him, then she should also want him to do what's best for your relationship with him. Especially if he's admitted that ' he could have sexual relations with her if he 'wanted' Hmmm? then could it happen in the 'heat of a moment'
By the way...respect earns trust.
All the best!
2007-04-17 05:55:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you don't have a problem with being friends with the ex but I certainly would.
Are you over or not. If they are still friends there is a chance that they will get back together, and if he resists any of your wishes where the ex is concerned that is a red flag. Get out of that relationship. Next thing you will hear from your boyfriend is that he got his ex pregnant and he loves you more but he has to do what is right. Why can't he just call her at 11:30 to see if she made it home safe. I don't get why the continued relationship.
Something is not quite right with your arrangement. I would let you be the ex and then maybe you would see him more often that way. Good luck
2007-04-17 12:54:08 · answer #2 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Someones got a booty call, booty call"
Those are booty call hours -- does he meet up with anyone else late -- like other male friends that might work late things like that? Also how often does he meet up with her? Yeah its okay to be friends with ex's but more on an aquaintance level -- in my opinion their relationship ended for a reason! I would see if you can't go a long with him once and awhile if he doesn't want you there then something is going on!
2007-04-17 12:50:41 · answer #3 · answered by Okaydokay21 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nip that shiat in the bud right now. I'm filing for divorce next week for the SAME REASON. I thought it was okay, and I trusted him, and all that jazz, then BLAMMO...i caught them doing it.
DO NOT STAND FOR IT ONE MORE SECOND. IF HE LOVES YOU AND IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE THAT HE'S SO CLOSE WITH HER, HE WILL SEVER TIES.
if not, drop him like a bad habit, because you look forward to years of questioning your own instincts and feeling betrayed if you don't.
2007-04-17 12:53:27 · answer #4 · answered by elfkin, attention whore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course he's not going to tell you if he has slept with her!Open your eyes!He's not meeting her just to talk at night.He's trying to play you.Maybe their relationship didn't work but that don't mean that they can't still have relations.How many people do you know that broke up but they still slept together?Think about that and you got your answer.
2007-04-17 12:50:33 · answer #5 · answered by Felecia J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your boyfriend should take you with him on these late night meetings being that that is his ex. If they are truly just friends he shouldn't mind.And you are right it is not about trust its about respect!!!
2007-04-17 12:54:40 · answer #6 · answered by bossy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow...well. I think you need to tell him if this continues then the 2 of you are through. You should not have to put up with that at all. I mean if he wants to spend time with her that bad, then he isn't going to have time for you. Get Out Please!!
2007-04-17 12:48:31 · answer #7 · answered by Chrissy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you , he wont see his ex, tell him that if he doesnt stop, then it's over, it sounds like he's cheating on you.You need to respect yourself, and stand up, for what you belive.
2007-04-17 12:47:41 · answer #8 · answered by kitty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump. Move on. New guy = (Happiness) squared
2007-04-17 12:51:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will not understan just tell him that you think he might be tempted to have sex with her.I dont know wat you feel but if you tell it to him straight i am sure he will understand.Hope it helped.
2007-04-17 12:49:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋